Shit. Shit. Shit.
I snatched it out of his hand before he could flip it open and see the library bar code.
I forced a laugh. “Who knows with Harriet? I’ll stick it back in the bookshelf. Otherwise, she’ll probably never find it.”
My heart pounded and my hands went clammy as I left the room and shoved the book between a Georgia O’Keefe biography and the Kama Sutra.
I jumped when Simon laughed from behind me. “She’s got quite the eclectic mix.”
Trying to pull my shit together, I rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans, forced a casual shrug, and turned for the door. “I’ve really gotta get going.”
He followed me out, and I had the feeling I’d just failed some sort of cosmic test. It was an eerily perfect opening to confess all, but every fiber of my being screamed not yet.
I regained my composure as we walked toward the Dirty Dog. Simon insisted on accompanying me even though his car was parked in the opposite direction. He even directed me into a little café for coffee and quiche because he didn’t like the idea of me skipping meals.
Accepting my coffee from the barista, I finally felt like I was back on even keel. I looked down at my curves and replied, “I could skip a few and be just fine.”
His response: “Not without endangering some of my favorite parts.”
We walked the rest of the way in companionable silence, his fingers laced through mine. It was like we were a regular couple, living a regular life. Except we weren’t. And the close call this morning highlighted once more that we probably never would be.
Simon waved to Yve as I ducked inside the store.
“I don’t know what you did to that man, but honey, he is smitten,” Yve said as she waved back.
“Yeah, well … I didn’t exactly plan this.”
“But it’s good, right?”
I settled on the stool behind the register and pulled my quiche from the bag. Might as well eat while it was still hot.
“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, and there’s no way it could possibly work out, but for now, it’s really good.”
Yve leaned a hip against a display rack and watched me eat. “I know we haven’t talked about what either of us is running from, but I don’t think whatever that is should stop you from trying to make something real with him.”
My fork halted mid-air at her words and quavered. The bite of quiche landed on the countertop. One thing I had always been able to count on with Yve was no questions. I’d always figured she didn’t ask because she didn’t want any in return. But she’d just broken that unspoken pact. I thought for a moment before responding.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Charlie, I’m the queen of ‘not that simple,’ but even I know you can’t let your past dictate your future. That’s no life.”
She didn’t understand the magnitude of the difference between our situations—because I couldn’t tell her. Humorlessly, I said, “If I was just running from a bad relationship, I’d agree with you. But this is a whole different level of fucked up.”
Yve narrowed her eyes. “Letting a man beat on you for two years because you think you deserve it is a pretty high level of fucked up, I think.”
I lost my grip on the plastic fork, and it clattered on the counter. It was what I had suspected, but my stomach still twisted to hear her say it out loud. “Yve—that’s … I … I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. But I didn’t let that man run me out of my own town. Complicated or simple, some things are worth standin’ and fightin’ for.”
I stared down at the mirrored surface of the counter and considered her words. “What if I’m juggling too many lies to make it out of this in one piece?”
“Does he love you?”
I thought about it for a beat. “I think so.”
“Do you love him?”
This time I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“Then there’s always hope.”
Even after a year, I hadn’t yet figured out why Con kept the tattoo parlor open until ten on Sunday nights. It was almost nine o’clock, and we were dead slow. Which was dangerous. Delilah had gone home after her last appointment of the day, so only Con and I remained.
“Want to add to your sleeve?” Con asked.
That was why it was dangerous for me to be here when it was slow. I started to get the itch.
I couldn’t say no. Especially when I already knew what I wanted next. Fuck it. “I was thinking my shoulder blade.” I described my idea.
Con grinned. Of course, I assumed the grin was because these tattoo sessions usually ended with him getting laid. That part was not happening. I was pretty sure he knew it, but I needed to be sure we were both on the same page. “I’m not fucking you after.”
His grin faded. “I know, Lee. I still don’t like him.”
“Why not?”
“Long story. I suppose I need to start getting over it if he’s going to keep coming around.”
“That’s all you’re going to give me?”
“That’s it.” His smile returned. “Are you at least going to take your shirt off so I can get to your whole shoulder?”
I pulled my tank over my head in response as he readjusted the chair and readied his station.
“Bra, too?” He reached out and snapped the strap against my shoulder.
I gave him the evil eye. “Work around it.” He slid the strap down, gloved up, and got to work. As soon as I heard the familiar buzz, I relaxed into the seat.