Tears immediately pricked at my eyes and not at all because that meant I was free from the debt. Fin already made me feel like the debt was forgiven. These tears were for Declan, because no matter what happened between Fin and me I was never going to be able to come up with that kind of money.
“What’s this money for?” Grandma demanded, setting her knife and fork down.
“Declan’s facility, Grandma,” Fin explained. “Thanks for the offer Ty, but I don’t need it.”
“What do you mean you don’t need it?” I snapped, whirling around to face him.
Fin chuckled, and then explained, “It became clear very early on that you were not going to be able to come up with the money, Ellie. Besides, it was only seven thousand dollars. I knew it wouldn’t take much for me to come up with that, so I made some small changes.” He shrugged casually like I hadn’t been obsessed with this amount of money for the last six weeks. “I was able to save the majority of it pretty easily.”
“What changes did you make?” I gritted out.
“I cut back on my expenses, upped my cut on the games and stopped dating random girls.” Fin grinned at me.
I was gaping at him, mouth unhinged, eyes bugged out, hands shaking. “What?” I squeaked. “I’ve been sick over this money!”
“I told you not to worry about it,” he reminded me sternly as if I should have listened to him.
“Yes, I know you told me that. But I did it anyway!” I argued helplessly. “I did worry. And I even saved money. Plus all that time I spent with you! I can’t believe this!”
“You don’t regret the time you spent with me, do you?” Fin teased. He didn’t even feel bad about this, not even a little bit.
“Yes, I do. Some of the time I do regret.” But then I broke into a smile and ruined the whole thing. “But what about the money I saved?”
“How much did you save?” he asked carefully.
“Like,” I cleared my throat, embarrassed to admit this next part. “Like fifty dollars.”
Ty and Fin broke out into laughter. Even Declan smiled at me.
“Ellie you exist on Ramen Noodles and pay for gas in loose change. I never really had high expectations for you to pay me back. Besides, I have been meaning to take a bigger take of the winnings anyway.”
I sat back in my chair speechless.
“So you don’t need any help?” Ty asked gruffly.
“Thanks man, but no I don’t.”
“This means Declan can go now? We can afford the facility?” Grandma asked with so much hope in her voice I almost started to cry again.
“Yep, Dec, it’s for sure now, you can go,” Fin said proudly.
To which Ty grunted.
Men.
After dinner I helped clear the table and do the dishes. Grandma promised that Ty and Fin often offered to help but she didn’t trust them near the China. And while I dried every dish carefully, very, very carefully, she explained what an honor it was to be able to help in the kitchen. I was apparently the first person she had let in there in over thirty six years, since Fin’s mom which she professed was a terrible mistake.
And in the end I did feel privileged. Especially when she took my forearm in her little grasp and started crying all over again because of how happy she was Fin found a girl for him, a girl he like enough to bring home and meet her.
He interrupted our waterworks and asked me to go sit out back with him.
Grandma patted my arm and said, “Go on then, when a good man like that asks you to sit with him you just say yes.”
“Ok, yes,” I smiled down at her and then followed Fin out back.
The backyard was just as charming as the front of the house with big flower beds and a charming patio swing that was shaded underneath a huge maple tree. We sat swinging for a little while in silence just enjoying the warm spring afternoon and each other.
“You should have told me about your back up plan,” I scolded, only barely holding on to my resentment over the whole thing.
“I should have. But I was a little bit afraid. You were so upset over the idea of me just forgiving the debt, I didn’t think the fact that I didn’t need the money would make much of a difference. It was never a big deal for me. Even in the beginning. I’ve had losers walk away from their debt before and I’ve taken the loss, but you were by far the biggest amount. I just didn’t know how to tell you and still keep you.” Fin took a breath and admitted, “I’ve known for a while that the debt wasn’t yours.”
“What?” I gasped not exactly expecting him to lead with that. “You made me go through all of that and you didn’t think I ever lost all that money?”
“No, at first, there wasn’t really another explanation. I thought you were just scared of your own consequences. But as soon as I got to know you I realized you wouldn’t have tried to flake out on losing, and you never would have got involved unless you could have paid in the first place. But by then I liked having you around and I didn’t know how to get out of the mess I’d made. It seemed I was always falling for you, since that first time in your apartment when you thought I was a drug dealer. And I just kept falling, harder, faster…. forever, until finally I was in love with you and there was nothing else I could do about it.”
I officially stopped breathing. Turning my head so I could meet his gaze, I asked, “You’re in love with me?”
“Since you made me your Burgerwich,” he said seriously. “I was never going to make you pay that money, I just didn’t want you to stop coming over. I didn’t want to have to work any harder for you; I just wanted you to be mine. And then I didn’t know how to tell you that, how to make you forget about it. You threw all that moral high ground at me and I realized what a huge mistake I’d make. I was an idiot. Will you forgive me?”
“Yes,” I nodded quickly. And I did, for everything.
Fin broke out into a blinding smile that lit up his whole face. “And will you let me help you fall in love with me too?”
I sucked in a breath at his question. He was the vulnerable Fin again, the one that opened himself up so carefully and asked for the simplest things…. a better place for the brother he lived, a nice life for his grandma, the love of a girl that was already way past loving him.
“You don’t have to,” I shrugged, loving that instead of giving up his eyes became steely with determination. “I’m way past loving you; I’m onto the next thing, like really, really loving you or something.”
“Don’t joke around, Ellie, tell me your serious,” he demanded, the authoritative tone cutting the air between us.
“Yeesh, you’re always so bossy!” I grumbled but fell forward, grabbing at his shirt to hold myself against his chest. I looked up at him and smiled. “I’m being serious, Finley Hunter. I love you. I have for a while now, although not as early as the Burgerwich.”
His palm cupped my jaw and his thumb brushed against my cheekbone, “The real kind of love? Not just the kind you say but don’t mean?”
“The real kind,” I promised. “The kind that has a future, so you better hope you don’t get tired of me.”
“Does that mean you’ll introduce me to your family?” he asked carefully.
“Sure,” I tilted up so I could kiss his chin and he pulled me against him, tucking me into him. “Apparently you’ve already met Lennox and Grayson.”
I felt it through his whole body when he smiled. “They had no idea why you were so worried.”
I snorted something unintelligible. We were silent again and then I said, “You should probably tell me you love me again.”
He chuckled, his chest shaking against me, “I love you, Ellie. You came into my life and demanded that I paid attention. I’m not letting you go, I won’t. I’ve let a lot of things go in my life, things that needed to be set free, things that if I didn’t release I would have become bitter and empty. You are not one of those things; you are one of the rare, beautiful things that I am desperate to keep. I want you forever, Ellie.”
I turned to face him, ignoring the tears pooling in my eyes and kissed him long and hard until cat calls and whistles could be heard through the window from Declan and Ty. Finally I said, “I love you too.”
And Fin said, “Good.”
Chapter Twenty
“Alright, B,” I called down the hall. “I’m going to help Fin with his big poker game.”
She poked her head out into the hall and threw me a sly smile, “Is that what the kids call it these days? You didn’t tell me Fin had a big poker game.”
“Oh my gosh,” I laughed. “I’m telling Beckett to start texting you again.” I threatened on my way to the door.
“Don’t you dare!” she squealed and then ducked back into her room. “I just got him to stop!”
I laughed at her, wondering how my brother was really handling rejection for the first time in his life. Probably not well.
Oh well.
I pulled on the door and came to a screaming halt. Literally. Tara was standing on the other side of the door with her hand poised to knock.
“Sorry,” I breathed when I finally stopped screeching. “You scared me.”
“I could tell,” she intoned dryly. She looked pretty much the same, her wild faded pink dreads a mess in a ponytail on the top of her head. Her light blue eyes were bloodshot and dull but clearer than I’d seen them in the past and her skin had just a touch more sun to it than the last I’d seen of her.
It had only been six weeks since we’d said goodbye in this very place, but it felt like a lifetime. I was a different person now, but I highly doubted she was.
“What do you want, Tara?” I asked with little patience.
She suddenly seemed on edge, like she was meeting me for the first time and she was nervous. “I just came by to talk, Ellie.”
“Oh.” That kind of threw me; I guess I wasn’t expecting that. “Well, I’m on my way out actually, to dinner.” I mentioned dinner as a reminder of the last time we’d talked, but by her blank expression I didn’t think she remembered saying that phrase to me moments before my whole life fell apart.
“I’ll be quick.” She gave me a sheepish smile and I felt my resolve cracking just a little.
“Ok, I guess.”
“Did you get my note?” she asked casually and I almost laughed.
“The one on the back of my Biology notes?”
“Um, no,” she shook her head emphatically. “The one that explained my addiction?”
She was serious. “Oh, right. That one.”
She broke into a relieved smile, “Ok, good. Well, I just got out.” When I made no expression or move to say something, she continued, “Of rehab and I’m here as part of my…. um, steps. I’m here to apologize. To make amends.” She announced this with a flourish as if I should start getting excited.
“Did you bring back all my furniture?” I asked slowly, even though it didn’t matter anymore. I came clean to my parents and my brothers. I told them all about my roommate problems and how she stole all my money and furniture. I even introduced them to Fin at Beckett’s last home game. They immediately adored him.