I woke again the next day, closer to lunch time than morning, to another message as Parry lay snoring at my side. This time though, it wasn’t from Mac.
Leaving for Sydney this morning, Evie. Just wanted to say bye and thanks for letting me stay at your apartment. Jared.
I swallowed the lump in my throat at the thought of Jared leaving and typed a casual response.
E: Have a safe flight home!
A safe flight home? Like he had any control over the aircraft? What an idiot.
J: Thanks. How did your hot date go?
What was I supposed to say to that? Shitty, because I wished it was you I was on the hot date with?
E: Great! We went drinking and dancing at Verve with some friends.
J: So can I assume that Hairy Parry’s name is because he’s hairy?
E: You can. Hair almost as long as mine.
J: So you like guys with long hair? Should I grow mine?
What did that mean? He wants me to like him? He likes me? My pulse raced, making me feel worse because I was lying in bed nak*d with one man while I was burning up inside for another.
I ignored the question, not sure how to respond, and instead changed the subject.
E: Hey, I didn’t ask you what your friend’s sister's name was?
Jared replied to my question, and we messaged each other on and off for the rest of the day. I enjoyed the banter. He was witty and smart, and considering he lived such a long distance away, surely chatting to him this way was safe enough.
Then the next day he asked me about a band he was seeing that afternoon with friends and if I’d heard of them. I hadn’t but I looked them up, and their songs were fantastic. I commended him on his taste in music, and the rest of that day found us messaging each other on and off, and then the next day, and the next, until it seemed we struck up some kind of texting friendship where the two of us couldn’t seem to go a day without texting the other.
Like when I found a particularly expensive, but necessary pair of shoes. I’d snap a photo and message it.
E: Should I buy these?
J: Only if you promise to send a pic of you wearing them.
I would get a message late at night.
J: Drowning in paperwork. Do you know first aid?
E: Mouth to mouth is my speciality, but alas, you will be blue by the time I arrive. Call the medics.
When I’d broken up with Hairy Parry six months later, I found myself forlorn but naturally not heartbroken.
J: Do you need me to break his face?
E: I would, but you would be hard pressed to find it under all that hair.
J: lol
E: Don’t you have any girls I can break a face for?
If that wasn’t fishing then I wasn’t Rex Hunt.
J: I don’t do relationships.
E: Why not?
J: That is a story for another day.
Six months later, I met Robert the insect fiend who we’d promptly nicknamed Beetle Bob. Mac and Henry had chortled with glee when they found out our first date was to the Melbourne Museum to view the Bugs Alive! exhibition.
Later that night, Jared's message arrived.
J: How was your first date at the museum?
E: Beetle Bob was very attentive & I got to see a feeding demonstration. Very cool.
J: Cool, huh? What was your favourite bug?
E: Praying mantis, I think. Those things were pretty cute.
J: Don’t they bite the head off the male after sex?
E: Oh gross. They do?
J: lol. Didn’t you learn anything at the exhibition?
E: I guess not!
Four weeks later, I actually received an invitation inside the inner sanctum that was Beetle Bob’s house and promptly met Draco. Draco liked a good piece of mango and hung out on my arm while I made him watch So You Think You Can Dance. He really seemed to like it. I snapped a photo of Draco head-bobbing and texted it to Jared.
E: Isn’t he cute?
J: Is that Beetle Bob? If so, he’s much better looking than Hairy Parry.
I laughed like a loon while Beetle Bob gave me the freaky eye, and Draco just kept on head-bobbing on my arm.
Then six months later, Jared got knifed in the side by a drugged up lunatic who thought waving it about inside a store and locking up customers seemed like a good way to earn money.
Panicked and scared, it almost got me on a plane to Sydney.
E: Are you okay?
J: Just a scratch. I had worse at ten years old when I jumped off the roof of our house.
E: What trying to be Superman?
J: Wolverine. His thing is an accelerated healing process. Sadly mine took a metal pin and eight weeks in plaster.
Four months later, our Melbourne festival appearance hit YouTube and received a really decent viewing. That night found us at the local university watering hole dancing and singing and liberating the bar of all alcohol. Unfortunately, Beetle Bob, as usual, decided to leave early to tend the insects in his care, and while the thought was admirable, for a brief moment, I was tired of coming second best to a bunch of creepy-crawlies. Thus began a knock down drag out shouting match that levelled the entire building to silence.
I left in a drunken snit and promptly messaged Jared when I got home.
E: Beetle Bob has been effectively crushed. I will miss Draco.
J: Plenty more dorks in the sea.
Two weeks later, Beetle Bob came by, Draco in tow because he knew I’d do anything for the little lizard dude, apologised, and told me he would be a better boyfriend.
I immediately felt bad because it wasn’t like we were in love, and I was being a bit of a selfish mole, but Beetle Bob was otherwise a good person, so I took him back. I snapped a photo of me holding Draco and messaged it to Jared.
E: Beetle Bob is back on.
J: You just want him for his big lizard.
E: Guilty :-D
It was six weeks later when I saw Coby on the news as he rushed some random dilapidated brown weatherboard house.
E: What the hell are you up to?
J: You know I can’t discuss details. We are all good.
Two weeks later he messaged a photo of what was left of Casey’s car after his high speed chase.
J: Walked away, the lucky bastard.
E: He must be the real Wolverine. Lucky you weren’t in the car. You would have been in traction for months.
J: Har har.
A few inane messages.
J: What are you doing?
E: Face mask. Can’t talk.
J: In that case, a string walks into a bar several times and asks for a drink. Each time, he is turned down by the bartender. Finally, the string asks a stranger to tie him in a knot and frazzle the ends a little. The string walks back into the bar and the bartender asks him, “Hey aren’t you the same string I just turned down?” The string replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”
I snorted water out my nose, and my mask promptly cracked into a thousand pieces at his lame, dorky joke.
Six weeks later, I met Herringbone, Beetle Bob’s new baby python. His greeting was simply a pair of beady black eyeballs peeking out from the inside of my running shoe. I snapped a photo and messaged Jared.
E: So I thought I’d go for a light jog this morning.
J: Nice snake shoes. Bet that made you run fast.
E: Like you wouldn’t believe.
Two months later.
J: Finally, a weekend off. Thought I’d come visit.
I panicked.
A long distance friendship was all good and well from the safety of another state, but we all knew how well I managed in Jared’s real life presence.
E: This weekend? What a shame. Beetle Bob and I will be away visiting his sister and brother-in-law in Canberra.
We weren’t, but Beetle Bob had been making noises about it, so no time like the present. I messaged Beetle Bob, and in a matter of moments, our weekend was arranged.
Two months later, we arrived at the conclusion our musical career would take off better in Sydney and made the decision to move.
J: Mac tells me you’re moving to Sydney.
E: Yes, our band is going to be the next big thing.
J: Does this mean we get to hang out?
E: You should be so lucky.
Three months later found us all set to move. Over the internet, we picked out a newly renovated duplex based in Coogee, a pretty beachside suburb just out of the city and a short walk to the beach. It had three bedrooms on one side and three on the other with a joint basement that housed a shared laundry and tons of space for musical equipment. It was perfect for the six of us. Coby did the inspection and when he gave us the nod telling us it wasn’t really a fallen down ramshackle in a desperate state of disrepair, he arranged the rental for us. That simply left us with four weeks to pack up our lives in Melbourne and make the move.
Two weeks later, Beetle Bob and I decided to part ways. Long distance visiting was simply not feasible when it came to the care of his creatures.
J: So you and Beetle Bob, huh?
E: Draco and Herringbone will fill the empty void that I leave behind.
One week later, Jared and Travis arrived for an overnight stay to help move some of the heavier furniture. The plan was for us to follow in a few days with the rest of our possessions and the band equipment.
Unfortunately, on the afternoon of Jared’s arrival, I’d received some snide comments from Beetle Bob’s friends at the local store, and feeling angry and a little let down, I met up with Henry at the Zen bar, our new local watering hole since graduating uni.
It was later that night, after five Metropolitans, that Mac arrived at the bar, Jared and Travis in tow. Metros were like Cosmos but better because they were made with black-currant vodka. I had been busy happily bashing Beetle Bob’s friends to Henry to make myself feel better. Henry, who was trying his best to offer support but not used to Metros, was having trouble keeping his seat.
My first thought when I saw Jared venture into the bar alongside Mac and Travis, was thank God I finally looked decent. My long waves of hair were curled into lush waves that very morning. My skin was tinted rose from the summer sunshine. No longer donning ratty pyjamas or the last minute wrinkled outfit worn to lunch, I was dressed in tailored grey shorts with pink pinstripes, a loosely fitted cream blouse, and strappy lemon coloured wedges. It was the perfect ensemble: casual, chic, and pretty.
My second thought was that he hadn’t changed one bit since I saw him last. His effect on me was as strong as it had ever been. My breath still lodged in my throat, and my palms sweated so much I had to wipe them discreetly on my shorts. Communicating via messages from another state was so much easier and safer.
I overheard Henry informing Jared of the spiteful comments by Beetle Bob’s friends. Soon after, I felt Jared’s hand grasp mine as he hustled me into a quiet dark corner of the bar.
“You okay, baby?” he asked, his brow furrowed with concern.
The endearment sent my pulse racing, and up close, those fierce green eyes of his were amazing, the golden flecks highlighting the vivid shade of emerald.
I ducked my head from the intensity and picked at a loose thread on the hem of my blouse. “I’m okay Jared, thanks. I just… We parted on good terms so it wasn’t expected.”
“Don’t let them get to you. They’re just jealous.”
I huffed out a little laugh at his words. “What? Jealous of me?”
“Jealous that your Beetle Bob managed a catch like you.”
“He’s not my Beetle Bob anymore.”
I felt the light brush of Jared’s fingers as he gently swept a rogue curl of hair off my shoulder and tucked it behind my ear.