The door slammed, and I was left in a pit with twigs and mud facing three pacing, starving wolverines. Looking half-wolf, half-badger, and full demon spawn, they slobbered and stalked, their yellow eyes glowing with the thought of an easy dinner.
“Q!” I screamed, scrambling backward. The wolverines twisted into dinosaur size, all of them with barcodes stencilled across their furry chests. They growled and blood spewed from their mouths, creating a river of red, lapping at my feet.
I’m in hell. I’m dead, and this is my penance.
“Stop screaming, puta. For fuck’s sake, trying to sleep here.” Something sharp kicked my thigh, and my gritty, heavy eyes opened.
I tried to sit up, but my body no longer belonged to me. It belonged to the chemicals blocking my brainwaves. It succumbed to the sweet fog, stealing my consciousness, and evoking horror-filled nightmares.
Giving up the fight to corral my limbs into working order, I lay back. My vision was glassy, and the cracked mouldy ceiling above gaped wide and spoke in slow motion. No words. No sounds. Just speaking silently with its weird ceiling teeth.
Someone poked me in the cheek; I couldn’t do anything to stop him. He laughed. “Fuck, you’re high.”
The voice turned my heart to lead, and I fought harder to move, to get far away, but every part of my body was weighed down by whatever they’d injected into me.
Hot, cold, numbness, sensitivity. I couldn’t distinguish anything anymore.
Fingers landed on my thigh, squeezing hard. “There, there. You’ll get used to it soon. It’s a f**king trip when you let the drugs take over.” Leather Jacket loomed above me, licking his foul lips. “You wait till we get where we’re going. I’ll make you feel real good.” He ducked and dragged his foul tongue up my neck.
I rattled with grotesqueness. Unable to move from the slime, my eyes gushed with tears. They cascaded down my cheeks, filling the shell of my ear with salty liquid. I wanted to tell him to leave me the hell alone, but my tongue was bound in lethargy.
“Dammit, Ignacio. You were told not to touch her until we arrived.”
Leather Jacket reared back, wiping his mouth with a sneer. “I didn’t touch her.” He gave me a wink. “I licked her. And I’ll be f**king her too before the week is out.”
My heart died and rotted in my chest. This was it then. My life was over. I’d never see Q again. Never be free. My mind was shackled with chemicals; my body would become a plaything until I died of some horrible malady.
“Crap, turn her neck. I forgot to deactivate it,” Jagged Scar said.
Leather Jacket exploded into abusive Spanish, ranting and raving at him.
I tuned him out. Wishing my other senses, hearing, and eyesight would abandon me, too. Living as a blind, deaf mute would be better than living through the awfulness when Leather Jacket finally raped me.
My mind flew back to another kidnapping—being owned by Q. He’d slowly turned my eyesight, hearing, and senses against me, but he did it in a way that I accepted, wanted.
I tried to conjure Q, to find some sense of peace even while tears poured from my eyes.
Harsh fingers twisted my neck to the side, and the same iPhone-looking contraption from when I was first tagged, waved over my throat before emitting a painful shrill.
Once again, I tried to shift, to wriggle away from his grip, but nothing worked. Every command fell on fogged receptors, rendering me a vegetable.
“It’s done. If they thought to chase her by the tracking number we provided, they won’t have any luck now.”
The first jolt of life came into my body at the thought of Q coming for me. He’d never rest until he found me. I knew that in my soul. Q had his downfalls, but saving those who needed saving wasn’t one of them.
Please find me. Before it’s too late.
“Shit, man, they could’ve been tracking us for two days.” Leather Jacket glared at Jagged Scar. “That was your f**king job to make sure it was taken care of. The Wolverine is gonna be beyond pissed if we f**k this up. You heard what he told the boss.” He cuffed him around the ear, and something clattered to the floor. “You incompetent little worm; I’ll show you how to make sure that bastard doesn’t sniff her down.”
The sound of a switchblade snapping open sent panic overriding the fog of narcotics. I tensed as Leather Jacket sat beside me and grabbed my throat. He put the knife tip against my skin. His black eyes burrowed into mine. “Gonna cut you, bitch.”
I whimpered—it was the best I could do. Screaming required muscles that were no longer in my control.
“What the fuck? Don’t, you idiot.” Jagged Scar grabbed the knife and tore it from Leather Jacket’s grip before he could stab me. “I already deactivated it! It needs to stay in so we can reboot when she’s sold again.” Jagged Scar huffed, rolling his eyes. “Fucking moron.”
Leather Jacket roared upright and decked Jagged Scar in the chest. “What did you just call me?”
My heart raced faster as the two psychotic kidnappers wrestled and cursed. If they couldn’t work together without killing each other, there was no hope for me.
I closed my eyes, ignoring the raging argument. My forehead furrowed as I coaxed my fingers to move, straining to override whatever they’d pumped into me.
Nothing happened. The bizarre feeling of being untethered from my body caused more panic to race.
I needed to look around, to figure out where I was. I needed to keep track of everything Leather Jacket and Jagged Scar said so I could spy an opportunity to run. But all I could do was float in a sea of sickness, staring at a cracked talking ceiling.
I’m weak. I’m terrified.
The thought of what would happen almost caused me to throw up.
Leather Jacket appeared in my vision again, smiling with his disgusting teeth and pockmarked skin. “Not long now. I’ve arranged a special welcome-home party just for you.”
Images of rapists and murderers filled me with dread. Oh God, I don’t want to survive.
I mentally slapped myself for the thought. I was stronger than that. I would eventually be coherent enough to fight back. My body betrayed me and my mind was slush, but I had to stay focused and ready to run. Run back to Q and watch him detach these bastards limb from limb. My hand twitched into a fist on its own accord, and a flare of pride filled me. I overrode the drugs.
Leather Jacket frowned, his eyes falling to my hand. “Well, that’s just f**king annoying.” He turned to Jagged Scar, holding out his hand. “She’s coming round. Give her another dose.”
Jagged Scar inched closer. I forced every cell in my body to get moving. To launch upright and punch their vile faces in. But it seemed my fist curling was the extent of my progress.
Jagged Scar pulled out a syringe but paused. “I don’t know. If we give her too much she might coma and not wake up.”
My heart charged, head became clearer. Give me more time!
Leather Jacket snarled, grabbing the syringe from him. He uncapped it in an angry wrench and plunged the needle deep into my arm.
The sharp pierce dragged a scream from my lungs, and my last thought was of Q as I was flushed into hell.
“I told you I didn’t want you. Stop fighting the inevitable, esclave, and let these men resell you.”
I hated his icy aloofness, the confidence in his tone. “But, I don’t understand. You want me. I’m yours.”
“I wanted you for a time, and now I don’t. Goodbye, Tess.” His form faded from solid to smoke and wisped away as I fell and fell and fell.
I cried and I begged, but Q never came back for me.
And then the blackness swallowed me whole.
*****
The drooling, yellow-eyed wolverines waited for me every time I fell into the deep.
I lost count how many times I awoke and quickly succumbed again. A constant battle waged in my mind—trying to keep me awake, trying to knock me out.
But every time I dropped into the dark, the wolverines were there. Mauling me, gnawing on my arms and ankles, they drained me of blood, turning me into leather.
Distant voices came and went, broken conversations. Sounds of engines and dreaded transport taking me further and further from Q.
Q appeared in my catatonic state. “I’m coming for you, esclave. Keep fighting. Wait for me.”
Hope dazzled through me, waking me up, giving me something to latch on to.
“So you do care.”
He leaned over me, his eyes full of pain and guilt. “Of course I care. You’re my gravity. I’ll find you. I’m coming.” Q’s voice resonated in my body, warming me from the bone-deep chill I suffered.
Images of his home, the conservatory with all his birds, filled my mind, granting me a reprieve from horror for too short awhile.
Then sleep grabbed me with its sharp-tipped claws, dragging me back to the wolverines.
*****
The next time I woke, I could move my arms. The heavy cloud of blackness dissipated, letting little rays of myself shine through.
The strength and will to survive returned slowly, quietly—meek and timid. I didn’t want anyone to know I no longer lived in limbo.
I held my breath for eons, making sure I was alone. Every time I opened my eyes either Leather Jacket or an unknown trafficker pierced my skin and drowned out my tentative awakening with drugs.
My gaze went wobbly, trying to focus on the room around me. I couldn’t distinguish anything and random thoughts kept distracting me.
What would the walls taste like if I licked them?
What sound would the floor make if an elephant jumped up and down?
I shut my eyes, trying to get control of my haywire brain. I hated drugs. I’d never used substances in my life. Never dabbled with marijuana or sampled something harder. Now I knew why. Control: drugs took away control, granted nightmares and hallucinations. They spaced me out, stole time and my wits.
My mind turned rogue, hurtling me back to hell—making me forget how to fight, how to care. It turned Q into a monster. One moment he cared for me, the next he left me to the den of snapping wolverines.
He came for me when I was raped. He’ll come again.
I wasn’t an idiot. Of course, Q would try. But he would fail.
With no way of tracking me, he would lose the trail quickly. I had to give it to Leather Jacket. I’d never been on so many airplanes as I had in the last few days.
I had no clue how long we travelled. Time ceased to have meaning. I vaguely remembered being carried, engines whirring, tyres squealing. I slept in cellars, and dungeons, only to wake up shivering and cracked out of my mind.
Starving, dehydrated, it was only a matter of time before my body gave out. In fact, it was the fifth time they injected me when I got sick.
The drugs couldn’t hide the racking shivers as a fever wrapped its false blanket around me. Nor could it compete with the wacko visions that now plagued when I was awake.
I shivered and ached and wished to God I could see a doctor.
My brain felt squished inside a skull full of cement and fog, my mouth parched drier than a desert, and my heart thumped, heavy and broken.
Noise came from behind me; I snapped my eyes closed.
“Wake up, puta. We’re finally home.” Leather Jacket grabbed my arm and hauled me off whatever I lay on. My body, so useless after days of lying inert, slid off the platform and sprawled at his feet.