Oh, if only it was that.
I didn’t answer.
“I feel like I’ve defiled you now. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why does it matter? Great, now you know I’m a freak. Congratulations.”
“That’s not what I meant. Christ.”
I was mortified and I didn’t know why it bothered me so much. It wasn’t a secret I guarded that closely, but it ran very close to the one I did. This was why I hadn’t wanted Hunter to get close. Because of this moment.
“You should have said something. I would have stopped.”
“I’m not a child, Hunter.”
“I know, but I wouldn’t have said all those things if I had known.”
“Really? Really?” I sat up, finally glaring at him.
“Maybe? I don’t know. You just seemed so confident.”
“You mean slutty.”
“No. I definitely didn’t mean that. You’re not that kind of girl. I just meant that you seemed like you had experience, that you knew what you were doing. I guess… Wow.”
He shook his head back and forth in disbelief.
“Are you really a virgin?”
I took a deep breath before I answered.
“Yes.”
“But you’ve done other stuff? Like physically?”
“If you’re asking if I’ve ever given or received or*l s*x or been fondled, the answer is no. I have been kissed, and my boob got grabbed once by a guy who I’m pretty sure will never have children after I was done with him.”
For the first time ever, Hunter was speechless. Point for me.
“I don’t know what to say,” he said.
“Then here’s a thought, don’t say anything. Goodnight.”
“No, no, no. We are talking about this.”
I heard him reach for his boxers, and then a shirt. Hmm. A minute later, the end of my bed dipped.
“Hey, talk to me. I just… it just seems unfathomable that it hasn’t happened yet. If you were to yell out the window right now that you were a virgin, there would be at least a hundred guys lined up within five seconds.”
“Whatever.” I refused to turn over and look at him. I just wanted him to go to bed so I could continue to die inside in peace.
“No one’s ever even tried?”
“No.” Sure, I’d been asked out, but I’d never gone. And anyone who tried anything usually wound up with a very sore crotch.
“Then there must be something in the water where you live that alters logic. You should probably alert someone about that, because that’s completely crazy.”
“They called me the Ice Queen,” I mumbled.
“What?”
“They called me the Ice Queen,” I said, rolling over. Maybe if I satisfied his curiosity, he’d go away.
“They did not. You?”
“I guess I was chillier when I was in high school. Maybe you thawed me.”
His hand touched my shoulder.
“I’m sorry about everything.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. Just think before you speak next time. You don’t want to go around insulting virgins. We can be fierce when we want to.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Goodnight.” He finally got up and went back to his bed. “Oh, and if you ever decide to turn in that V card, I’m here. Just so you know.”
“I’m well aware.”
“Good. Because we could be amazing. You and me.”
“Goodnight,” I said for what felt like the millionth time.
“Goodnight, Missy.”
*****
Hunter was ridiculously nice to me for the next two weeks as we passed from the last gasps of summer into fall.
Fall was my favorite season. Not only because my birthday was in November, but because of Halloween and crunchy leaves and pumpkin-scented things and hats and cute scarves. What wasn’t to like about fall? I couldn’t think of anything.
I usually got the baking bug in the fall as well, and one night I made pumpkin cookies with cream cheese frosting that made Renee propose to me, on one knee and everything.
“Thanks , babe,” Paul said as he reached for another. Since Renee had brought him home, Paul had become a fixture in our apartment. He and Hunter hit it off right away and had already had several extremely intense Halo tournaments and guitar jam sessions. Paul had a guitar as well, and wasn’t that bad. Renee would sit and watch, tapping her hand and bopping her head and yelling out requests.
I’d never seen her so happy. She was grinning from ear to ear most of the time, and she was always touching him and laughing with him and kissing him. He was sweet and fun and kind of a dork. I liked him even more than I did when they dated last time. He seemed more settled. More mellow.
Between Paul, Hunter and Mase, we had quite a male presence in our place. Add Sean and Dev and we had quite a posse. I got used to having a million people around, all climbing over one another. Dinners were a production, so we made sure we had something for everyone. Somehow, even though I was the youngest, I’d become sort of a mom to them all. When we had dinner no one remembered to grab a napkin, and they always needed something and I was usually the one to get up and get it.
I was still wearing the ring. I only took it off to shower, and my hand felt cold and nak*d without it. Hunter hadn’t made further mention of the cost, and I had kind of let it go. Or so he thought. I was determined to find out where he got the cash. I knew he wasn’t selling drugs, or robbing banks or anything like that, but I knew it had something to do with Joe. It just had to.
The same night I made the pumpkin cookies I was cleaning up our bedroom, or at least my side of it, when I saw what looked like a crumpled up check. Puzzled, I unfolded it.
It was made out to Hunter in the amount of five thousand dollars.
“Holy shit,” I said, dropping the check.
“What are you doing?” a voice said behind me. A Hunter voice.
“Cleaning. And stop sneaking up on me.”
“What were you holy shitting?”
“Nothing. Nothing.” I tried to push the check with my foot so it would go under a t-shirt I hadn’t picked up yet, but he caught me. Boy was too damn observant.
“Then why are you trying to hide it?”
“Hide what?”
“You’re not a moron and you can’t play one very well.” He reached for the check, but I got there first.
“Then why don’t you tell me what the hell this is?” I held it in front of his face and watched as all the color drained. Impressive.
“Give it back.” He reached for it, but I’d been to kickboxing this week, and my reflexes were on.
“Tell me what it is.”
“Give. It. Back,” he said through clenched teeth.
I stepped back, putting the check behind my back. He was going to get hold of it, because, let’s face it, he was taller and stronger. But at least I might be able to find out what this was all about.
“Tell me what it is. Where did you get this kind of money?”
“Give. Me. The. Check.”
I’d never seen Hunter so angry. Never. His blue eyes blazed with it. For the first time, I was scared of him. Didn’t mean I was going to give it to him before I found out what the hell it was.
“Tell me,” I said softly, backing up until my back hit my bed.
“I swear to God, if you don’t give that to me in the next five seconds, I’m going to take it from you and I’m not going to be very nice about it.”
I shook my head.
“Fine.”
He dived at me, knocking me back so we were on my bed. I fought, but he had weight and momentum on his side.
“Get off me!”
“Not until you give it to me.”
“Tell me and I will.”
That only seemed to make him madder, and he grabbed my arm, wrenching it around as I fought.
“You’re hurting me.”
He didn’t answer.
We continued to struggle as he finally got hold of it.
“Thank you. Now get the f**k out,” he said as he got up. I was panting, but he wasn’t. But at least we were both pissed now.
“What?”
“Get the f**k out,” he roared.
“Where am I supposed to go?”
“That’s not my problem.”
“I’m not leaving,” I said, crossing my arms.
“Then I’m going to have to remove you.”
“I’d like to see you try.”
With steel in his eyes, he reached for me. I thrashed, but he threw me over his shoulder and marched out the door, past Renee and Paul, who were having a tickle fight on the couch, and out to the hallway where he dumped me. I tried to get a good kick or punch in, but he was able to avoid them.
“Don’t touch my stuff. Ever.” He shut the door in my face and clicked the lock.
Twenty
I sat on the floor in the hallway for a few stunned seconds before I got up and banged on the door. Of course, I didn’t have my key, so I banged on it until Renee sheepishly opened it and let me in.
“Thanks for that,” I snapped.
“I… I didn’t know what to do. I just… I’ve never seen him like that. He went in your room and locked the door and he won’t come out.”
Paul was in the process of banging on our bedroom door.
“Here, let me,” I said, taking his place at the door. “I’m leaving, you douchebag. I just have one thing to say to you. I. Hate. You. If you don’t believe me, whatever. But I’m not moving out permanently. I was here first before you barged your way in. I don’t care where you go, but when I come back tomorrow, you’d better be gone. Screw you, Hunter Zaccadelli.”
I grabbed my purse and left, calling Megan to ask if she had a free couch for the night.
“Of course, what happened?”
“I’ll tell you when I get there.”
Sassy roared to life, and I drove as fast as I could away from campus without getting busted by campus security for speeding.
I still wasn’t crying. Oh no. Tears were the last thing on my mind. I was pissed. Beyond pissed. I was livid.
Megan was waiting with a plate of chocolate cake and a sympathetic shoulder.
“Jake’s still at work, and his crusty friends aren’t coming over tonight, so the couch is all yours. I already made it up with fresh sheets. Do you need some clothes?”
I’d run out without anything, but I had an emergency stash in my car for moments like this.
As I mowed through two pieces of sticky cake and a glass of milk, I told Megan everything. I hadn’t really had a chance to catch up with her in a while, so I filled her in on the ring affair and everything else.
“He’s got money and he’s hiding it. If it were from his aunt and uncle, he would have admitted it. I just keep coming back to this Joe guy.”
“So he had a meeting with him and he said something about not wanting… something. Maybe it was the money.”
“That’s the first thing I thought of. I mean, his parents are dead, this weird Joe guy has a meeting with him, and then this,” I said, holding up the ring, “and then the check for five grand. It’s got to be connected. I just don’t know why he would lie to me about it.”