Home > Searching for Beautiful (Searching For #3)(30)

Searching for Beautiful (Searching For #3)(30)
Author: Jennifer Probst

“I wasn’t dealing with anything. You’re not understanding or you’re playing dumb, which just pisses me off. I forgot about David. Forgot I destroyed his life, left him at the altar, and ran away from my family. I was having fun. What type of person am I?”

He clenched his fork and leveled his gaze. “Normal. You did the best you could at the time to deal with the situation. Doesn’t that tell you something was off? Ever stop to think you were so miserable in his presence that just getting away from him made you happy? How’d he get you so twisted up?”

“Maybe it’s me. Not him. Maybe I’m screwed up.”

“Nah, I’m the one who’s really messed up. You’ve always been the stable one in this relationship. And as for David? I think he loved the idea of who he could make you be. Not who you are. Not the woman I see sitting across the table from me.”

Her eyes widened. “Better is good. He wanted to make me better.”

“By whose standards? His?” He leaned over and stabbed his fork in the air. “There is no better when you decide to marry someone. There’s just you and all your issues and bad qualities and crap. If he wanted some princess, he should’ve gone to fucking Disney World. Finish your steak.”

She stared at him for a while. Wolfe waited for her famous temper, or sarcastic wit, or even a torrent of tears.

Instead, she picked up her fork and resumed eating.

GEN FINISHED HER MEAL, trying not to lick the plate in the process, and wondered how Wolfe was able to hone in on the real issues in record time.

Practice, maybe. Lack of social niceties. His name fit him well. Though he was civilized and the perfect businessman, there was something quite primitive lurking beneath the suit. As if rules did not apply behind the façade.

A shiver skated down her spine.

Was that why he hadn’t found anyone to settle down with? Because there was no one who would accept his so-called baggage? Though he proudly held his man-whore card with style, the way he spoke about his family confirmed he’d flourish in a steady, loving relationship. Kate had been begging him for a while to sign up with Kinnections, but he just laughed her off. Maybe Gen should push. He deserved happiness.

The thought of him never belonging to her again stole her breath, but she figured it was a normal emotion. There was no way his woman would feel comfortable having him hang out with his best female friend. Women didn’t like that stuff. Of course, she’d experience some natural jealousy at being replaced.

Had Wolfe felt like that with David?

The thought startled her. Sifting back through the last year, she realized how slowly the most important people in her life had begun to fade away. When she’d try to visit her sisters, David would calmly suggest they do something as a couple and spend time alone. She tried many times to hit Mugs after her shift, but suddenly he’d call her to cover another shift, or suggest nicely that she’d been a bit slow on rounds and probably needed extra sleep. Lately, the only outings she went on revolved around him and the hospital, until a slight distance began to grow around her and the people she loved.

Even Wolfe’s texts were ignored more and more. David would regularly check her phone to make sure no one was bothering her from the hospital. Sure, she tried explaining that her phone was personal, but when he got upset and subtly suggested she was trying to hide something, she gave in. The consistent texts from Wolfe made David question the whole basis of their relationship. After all, if her best male friend wasn’t her future husband, what chance did they have at making a marriage work?

It had made sense at the time. Right? Yet she never really told Wolfe what was going on. She just stopped responding until their communication slowed to a dribble.

Confusion swamped her. She didn’t know what was right or wrong anymore. Today had been amazing. She’d forgotten how much fun it was to let the day guide you. Meeting new people without worrying if she was flirting or giving off mistaken vibes. Being silly and impulsive without being gently scolded. It was almost as if she’d escaped from prison.

Was that what she equated David with? Prison? He’d never done anything to hurt her. Never, ever hit her. He’d been patient, and told her every day how much he loved her, lived for her, and dedicated his time to making sure they had a perfect relationship.

“Gen?”

She shivered again. Funny, Wolfe had said her name a million times over the years, but lately it sounded more intimate. A low, sexy growl. Is that how he acted with the women he took to bed? She knew he liked a bit of domination. Did he grip her wrists and whisper in her ear while he pounded inside her, taking her on a wild ride where nothing else mattered but orgasm?

“You’re blushing.”

Gen grasped her water glass and chugged. She was officially losing her mind. She’d never fantasized about Wolfe in bed before. Not like . . . that. Then again, her emotions were so raw and strange, she shouldn’t be surprised. She pulled herself together and forced herself to meet his gaze.

“Just got warm. Wolfe?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

He lifted a brow. “For what?”

“Letting you go.” The shock in his blue eyes startled her. So vivid and naked, delving deep inside and plumbing every secret she had. Her thighs tightened as sudden lust struck her right between her legs. “I—I didn’t realize what I was really doing. David was angry over our closeness, so I stopped texting you and following through. It seemed easier that way. I started to pull away from the girls, too, but he got focused on you and used to ask if—if we were fooling around. He got mad when you called. I didn’t know what to do so I began ignoring you.”

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