“So, who are we doing?” Mel asks, as Black measures her. She isn’t asked to strip. I guess the hands on treatment is just for me. WTH?
“Mr. Ferro.” Miss Black says calmly as she pulls out the papers and slides them towards us on the desk.
Mel nearly chokes, but recovers quickly and doesn’t look up at me. She groans, like she doesn’t want to go, and leans back in her chair. “He’s one messed up piece of work, Miss Black.”
“I realize that, but he requested both of you and said he was impressed with your previous services. The fee was quite high, but he paid it, so maybe you won’t mind so much.” She winks at Mel and slips a piece of paper toward her.
Mel is in the middle of a sentence by the time she picks up the paper. “No amount of money could make me want to go back to that guy’s… Holy shit. Are you for real?” Mel can act, that’s for sure. She looks completely surprised.
Black smiles serenely. “Yes, so let him do whatever he wants.”
“Done,” Mel sits up and grabs a pen. “Where do I sign?” Miss Black points and Mel scribbles her name.
“These are for next week. More of the regular.” Black hands the papers to Mel and she signs up for a few more appointments. “And Miss Stanz, here are your clients.” She pushes a paper toward me. They’re names, not contracts, because I no longer get to agree to anything. I go where she tells me, and do whatever the guy wants. I don’t take the paper.
Taking a deep breath, I stiffen and stand my ground. “I was serious, Miss Black. I can’t do this anymore. Mr. Ferro is my last client.” Suddenly, I have no idea what to do with my hands so I fold them over my chest.
Miss Black smiles at me. She’s seated at the table across from Mel, with her long lean legs crossed at the knee with one foot bobbing up and down. She taps the pen once on the paper. “I see. And there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”
“No.”
“No amount of money will make it more enticing for you to stay?” Mel watches the exchange without comment, but her head turns side to side like a dog watching a tennis ball.
Fear prickles my skin, but my voice is firm. “It’s not about money. I can’t do it anymore. I’m not cut out for this.”
Miss Black grins tightly before looking over at Mel. “Well, we can’t make you stay, Miss Stanz. Although we strongly encourage it.” There’s something menacing in her tone. It completely contradicts the light smile on her lips.
I glance at Mel, but she seems just as surprised as I am. Stepping over to Black, I ask, “What are you saying?”
Miss Black stands so we’re eye to eye. Her gaze is intimidating, but I don’t look away and I won’t back up. When Black speaks, she’s so close that her minty breath washes over my face. “That your life will be better if you work here and worse if you choose to leave.” Her mouth hugs each word tightly, like it’s a simple statement and nothing more. A smile spreads across her face that instantly sends a jolt of ice down my spine.
Gabe told me to get out of here as fast as I can. I’m out of options. She’s not letting me quit and talking is getting me nowhere. I wish I could say something else, but nothing comes to mind. The only way out is to agree with her, so that’s what I do. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe more money will make it more tolerable.” My gaze drops to the floor and Miss Black beams at me, and touches my shoulder lightly.
“Excellent. I knew I could count on you, Avery. We are going to be very rich women when this is over. Just wait. Your dream of being a marriage therapist will seem trite in comparison.”
Her words are like barbs. Each one is shot with precision directly into me. Her intention is to belittle my dreams and show me that I can have everything if I stay with her. Black knows she’s losing me, that I don’t want to be here anymore, so she’s throwing logic in my face. It’s difficult to ignore her when she makes so much sense. I’ve worked my ass off for my degree. It’s a piece of paper that will allow me to get another piece of paper that will allow me to finally become what I always wanted to be. When I was younger, I could see myself in a big old house with a little office around on the side. There was a husband and a baby inside. They were dreams and I was content with the thought of middle class life, and trying to get by like everyone else.
But what she just said, the things she is offering, make those dreams seem so fragile. I’ve been walking on cracking ice for a while now, and it’s been growing thinner and thinner. One misstep will destroy everything. Somehow the certainties that I once held have all been snatched away. One rumor, one wrong place at the wrong time, or one accusation could ruin me and I’d be worse off than I am now. Alone, I’d have no way to support myself. Every issue of my life could stabilize if I say yes and continue to work here. I could have my own fortune, and I wouldn’t be subject to the whims of other people. That’s what Black’s offering and it makes so much sense that it hurts. She knew exactly what to say, where to strike.
For a second, I look at Black. My words are meant to find a soft spot in her armor, a longing for a life she let slip away. “What were your dreams when you were my age? What did you want to be, Miss Black?” My tone implies that there was no way she chose this job, but the look on her face says otherwise.
Stepping towards me, her voice takes on a caring tone that sounds too motherly to be coming from her mouth. “I dreamt of power, and was willing to do anything necessary to secure my future. You’d be foolish if you don’t do the same. In the end, the only person you can depend on is you. People come and go, they’re born and die. The only constant in your life is you.”
Numbness spreads through me like poison, lurching from my fingertips to my toes. I can barely move. Black has found something that terrifies me more than small spaces, and this time when an imaginary coffin flashes before my eyes, I’m not trapped in it.
Instead, I’m in a funeral home and looking down at Sean.
CHAPTER 7
I’m not normal anymore. At one time I might have been mainstream, but not now. There are too many nightmares that walk about in daylight, and Black just pinpointed my worst fear. I barely survived my parents’ deaths. I couldn’t make it through Sean’s, and yet, everyone must die. It’s a matter of when and how much time we have left. I don’t suppose other people think about death the way I do. Sometimes I imagine the worst thing possible, trying to brace myself for it, so I never feel so off balance again.
The day my parents died was unexpected. There was nothing to brace me, no one to hold me up. At times like that a person finds out how strong they are, and I’ve started to think that I am not weak. I endured it and I can still smile. I lived through tragedy and still breathe. I got to tomorrow and things looked brighter, but Black saying that—suggesting that one day I’ll be alone again—cut me to the core. She found my weakness.
We leave the building without another word. Gabe has the limo waiting out front, so Mel and I slip inside and get out of the chilly night air. Sighing, I lean my head back against the seat as Gabe drives us in silence.
Mel finally speaks, “Don’t let her get inside your head. That’s what she was trying to do, Avery. Shove her out.”
I wish it were that simple, but Black’s words planted a seed in my mind. The thought is already growing, vining around inside my head like a rampant weed. I don’t want it there, but she spoke the truth. The thought of losing Sean terrifies me. I can’t go back to that life where I was barely glued together. I’m not strong enough to live through it again. “I know, but she knew what she was doing and honed in on something that scares me more than anything. The stupid thing is that I had no idea it was there. I mean, I always said my biggest fear was being trapped inside a closet or something. She blindsided me, that’s all, and it would have been easier to blow her off if it wasn’t the truth.”
“People weave the truth into lies all the time, Avery. It’s the best way to bring someone down, and that’s what Black’s trying to do to you.” Mel glances up at Gabe. Her eyes shift away from him, like maybe she shouldn’t be saying these things in front of him.
“Gabe won’t repeat anything. Say whatever you’re thinking.” I slouch back in the seat, trying to keep my butt from peeking out from under my way-too-short dress.
Gabe glances back at us and nods once. “I don’t hear nothin’.” He stares ahead at the traffic.
“First of all, I feel guilty. I had no idea things were going to turn out like this. I’m sorry, Avery. I really am. And no matter what she says, no matter what she tells you, don’t wade deeper into this shit than you already are. You’ll never get out, and that’s what she wants. I have no idea why, but Black wants you. It’s personal. If you give in and stay, you’ll never get out.”
I’m staring at the floor while she speaks. Mel has a good point, and I want to tell her she’s right so that she’ll stop worrying about me. “Mel, I’m not going back after tonight. This is the last time.”
“Avery,” there’s a warning tone in her voice, “You can’t blow off Black like that.”
Glancing at her out of the corner of my eye, I ask, “Then how do I quit, Mel?”
“I don’t know. Right now you have too many clients asking for you. She knows how much you’re worth and what it means to lose you. You’re irreplaceable in her head. She said as much tonight.” I give her a weird look because I didn’t think she heard that part of our conversation. Mel wasn’t there for most of it. She rolls her eyes and huffs. “I was listening outside the door, okay? I told you that I was at Black’s and I was. I just wasn’t in her office yet.”
“What were you doing?” By the sound of it, Mel was doing something she shouldn’t have been.
She shakes her head. “Nothing that you need to know about. You’re in enough trouble, but let’s just say I overheard some of the things she said to you in private, all right, and I don’t like this Avery.” Mel shivers and rubs her hands over her arms. “Something’s not right, not anymore. I mean, getting that many requests is strange. Your price goes sky high and they back off or leave because they can’t afford you. Where the hell are these guys getting their money? You should be unattainable by now.”
“Maybe Black made the whole thing up and the only guy asking for me over and over again is Sean.”
She nods and touches her finger to her lips, unblinking. “Black’s never said that to me, but then again, I haven’t tried to leave.”
For a second, I’m afraid that she still feels guilty. I can’t read her when she’s so still and quiet. “There’s no way you could have known.”
She nods again, slowly bobbing her head up and down, still dazed. Gabe drops us off at the front of the hotel and drives away. Mel and I walk across the lobby without a word. There are so many eyes on me, sizing me up, and wondering what kind of slut I am to be wearing this dress. It makes my pulse race faster, but I manage to hold onto my confident stance and keep my head held high. This is a game, this façade isn’t who I am, it’s an illusion.