Ragged breaths escape from him like he can’t slow down, even if he wanted to. I reach for Sean’s shirt and unbutton the top enough to slide my hands inside. When I move to touch his shoulders and dip my hands down his chest, Sean jerks back. He grabs my wrists and slams them into the wall. I gasp, half turned on, half frightened.
Sapphire eyes, dark as night, bore into me. Sean doesn’t blink. It’s like he forgot himself for a moment. The tension in his jaw fades after a second, and he leans in and presses his lips to my throat while pinning me to the wall. I let him. I let him hold me there even though every ounce of my being wants to fight to break free. I hate feeling trapped and the way he holds me and presses against my neck makes me feel like I can’t move.
Normally, I would fight back, but I don’t. I tilt my head back and close my eyes, allowing the fear and lust to course through me in unrelenting waves. I suck in a jagged breath and Sean pushes against me harder. I wonder if he’s doing it on purpose, if this is part of what he wanted. I want Sean, all of him, on any terms that I can get him.
The hot kisses stop and I notice how incredibly intoxicated I feel. My eyes flicker open and I look at Sean. He’s still leaning into me, still holding my wrists to the wall. His voice is raspy, all air and heat. “When it’s your turn, you won’t hold back?”
CHAPTER 2
His question surprises me. I can hear the strain in Sean’s voice, like the idea of being with me on my terms scares the hell out of him. I nod, looking into his eyes. “I’m taking what I want from you. I expect you to do the same. No holding back.”
Sean is frozen. For a moment he doesn’t move. I wonder what he wants to do, how far he wants things to go. Anxiety flashes across his face and is gone. Sean nods once and releases my hands. They fall to my sides, aching. The place he held me burns and my underarms ache.
Sean scoops me off the counter and carries me to the bed. Fear starts trickling through me. At first it’s small and manageable. I swallow it back down and it turns into nervous excitement.
Sean places me on the bed. I’m on my back, looking up at his beautiful face. I’m scared. I don’t know if I can do this, but I want to. There’s a wall between us and I want it to come crashing down. No, it’s more than that. I want to be everything Sean needs.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sean asks. My throat is so tight that I can barely swallow. I nod. Sean looks away and runs his hands through his hair. He sighs, like he hoped I’d say no. Sean stands there, staring at me, lost in thought.
I push up on my elbows. “Do you need this?” His eyes are locked with mine. Sean nods. The expression on his face is timid and so unlike him, but there’s something in the depths of his eyes that says he needs this like he needs air. Without it, he’ll lose what’s left of himself.
I watch Sean for a moment. I want to be the one he needs, the one he trusts with everything. I could back away and he’d let me. I could let him continue doing these acts with nameless faces, but I can’t do that to him. He needs me and I need him just as much. My decision solidifies. “Then, I want to be the one to give it to you. Will it work, since you know me?” I wondered about that part. It tripped Sean up when he first ordered me. He said it wouldn’t be the same.
“I think I figured something out. But, there’s no way out, Avery. Once we start—”
I cut him off. “I’m not leaving.”
Sean breaks my gaze and nods. His throat is tight. He swallows hard. “Roll over.” I do as he says. Sean grabs my ankles and pulls me back over the edge of the bed so my legs are on the floor. He spreads my ankles and ties each one to the bedpost. I try not to think about it, but panic is building inside of me. The other strap is worse. Sean leans hard on my back, knocking the air out of my lungs as he ties my wrists. Within seconds I’m bound to the bed, facedown, and can’t move. My heart beats faster. I can’t control it, but I try. I take a slow breath in and let it out.
Sean sets a video camera on the dresser. It turns on and the red light blinks, telling me it’s recording. I don’t like it. That freaks me out as much as being tied down. “What are you doing?”
“You’re going to watch it later.”
I laugh, like that’s most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. “No, I’m not.”
“You will. You’ll beg me to see it.” Sean’s gaze is so dark, so intense. Fear is crushing into me.
My voice quivers. “No, I won’t.”
He smiles and sits next to my head. “Last chance, Smitty.”
“I’m not leaving, Jones.”
Sean touches my cheek gently. “All right. I’ll see you when this is over.” He pulls a blindfold from his pocket. My heart explodes in my chest when he ties it over my eyes and the world goes black. It makes the claustrophobia worse. Sean knew it would. I hear his voice, but it sounds far away. My pulse pounds harder. Sean is gentle this time. I wonder how long it’ll stay this way. His voice is closer when it finally registers. “Open your mouth.”
I do as he asks, not sure what to expect. Nerves flutter through my stomach, making me queasy. My mind is screaming at me, telling me that I’m going to die. I try to ignore my bonds, but it feels like they’re searing into my skin. There’s no way to forget that I’m tied down, even if I attempt to ignore it. I breathe through my mouth when I feel the gag slip between my lips. He tugs it hard and the smooth fabric gets forced to the back of my mouth. Sean ties it tightly. The amount of fabric in my mouth makes it feel like there’s no air, like I can’t breathe.
Panic surges through me, stronger this time. Mentally, I know I can breathe, but I feel like I can’t. My wrists twitch, making the straps pull tighter. I can’t slow my heartbeat. I can’t picture a meadow and mentally escape to somewhere else. Sean took every fear I have and rolled them together. I can’t calm down. Anxiety races through me in an avalanche. I try to thrash and pull away, but the only thing I can move is my head.
Sean’s voice comes from behind me. He says something that I can’t make out when I feel my skirt lift. His hands cup my ass and he feels my smooth skin before pressing his h*ps against my butt. “Calm down or you’ll hyperventilate. You can breathe, Avery. Slow down. Focus on my touch, on my hands.”
Fear is strangling me. I try to stop, I try to do what Sean says. The roaring in my ears makes it so much worse. I hate being confined. You’re trapped. You’re trapped. You’re trapped. The words have been on repeat since he tied me down. I didn’t even realize what I was thinking until I tried to focus on his touch. The words ring hollowly in my mind as I try to focus on Sean’s hands. One is on each side of my thigh, sliding slowly up the outside of my leg. He must be kneeling next to me because I can feel his breath on my legs. Sean rubs his hands up and down, one finger at a time. I gain control of my breathing again. The panic recedes. The only thing I can feel is the cold fear that’s frozen in my stomach and Sean’s hot touch on my bottom.
Something cold touches my hip and I wince. Sean drags its point over my hip, gently scraping my skin. It’s sharp, but he doesn’t cut me. The threat is there, the fact that I’m at his mercy isn’t lost on me. I don’t trust anyone, but somehow I volunteered to be tied to Sean’s bed and let him do this to me.
He loves me. The metal bites into my skin slightly and is gone.
“Breathe,” Sean commands. His hand is on my back, waiting for me to do it. Slowly, I inhale and let the air fill my lungs. I let it out slowly and do it again. “Good girl.”
Sean’s hand is gone. I try to focus on breathing and forget about everything else, but it’s hard. I want to rip my arms out of the restraints. Nervous energy lines my arms and legs. It’s pouring into my stomach like a tidal wave. I forget what will happen and pull my arms. The tug tightens all four restraints. I whimper into the gag and blink frantically behind the blindfold.
For a moment, I freak-out thinking that Sean left me tied to the bed alone, but then I feel his hand on my hip. He slides his palm over my bare skin and loops his thumbs around my panty. I hear a metallic snip, then another, and the little scrap of fabric is gone. I’m so tense that I don’t know what I want. I should have asked how long this would take. I thought I could do it, but now I don’t know. My pulse pounds harder, faster. I can barely breathe. My tongue is shoving the gag, trying to make more room in my mouth.
Warm palms slowly inch up the V of my legs. At first I can barely feel Sean’s touch, but as he gets closer to the top of my thighs, I squirm. My h*ps jerk to the side, but I don’t fall. I’m still in my heels, with my dress fanned around me, pulled up, exposing me.
I have no idea what’s going to happen next, but suddenly everything takes a turn. Sean’s hand lands hard on my bottom, stinging the skin. The unexpected hit makes me yelp into the gag. My hands ball into fists, but I can’t move. I’m not used to being hit. I don’t like it. My instinct is to hit back, but I can’t. Before I have time to think, Sean’s elbow is on my back. The air is forced out of my lungs at the same time his hand grips my p**sy. He finds me quickly and forces his fingers inside. I’m dry, not ready for him. Sean thrusts another finger inside, stretching me. He pushes in and out fast, over and over again while I struggle to breathe.
It’s the worst thing he could have done. It feels like I’m on fire inside and out. My mind is screaming to fight him off, but I can’t move. Sean slips in another finger and pushes inside of me, thrusting deeper every time. His elbow lightens and I suck in a sharp breath, but as soon as I do it, Sean knocks the wind out of me again. His fingers move faster between my legs, making my body respond. Damp heat covers his fingers making them slick. He pushes into me up to his knuckles as I fight for air. Holding his hand there for a moment, he leans hard on my back. I fight for breath and then suddenly, he pulls out and I can breathe.
For a moment, the only thing I can hear is my breath. Then the door opens. Horror washes over me. Someone’s here. Sean is speaking softly and I can make out another voice. What is he doing? I hope the other man goes away, but he doesn’t.
Sean says, “This will only be a minute.”
Another voice says, “That’s more than fair.”
Fear consumes me. He’s going to share me and I can’t move. I can’t do a damn thing. I thrash my head on the bed, trying to get the blindfold off. I scream into the gag and shake my head. I know I said I’d do anything, but I never dreamed he’d do this.
Before I can think, there’s a hand on my bottom and I hear a zipper open. Panic rises up within me. It’s not Sean. Sean is standing in front of me. I hear his voice whispering in my ear to keep breathing. But, I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.
Fear twists inside of me, turning to something else. I want to kill him. Before I have time to think, I feel the man’s hard length on my backside. He leans into me, pushing in deep. He sighs and stays still for a moment before he starts rocking. He pushes into me over and over again, each time thrusting deeper. My hands clutch at the bed, and I grit my teeth, trying to bear it, when something presses hard on my back. It’s heavy, like a suitcase. It makes it harder for me to breathe. The guy thrusts harder, more wildly. His hands grip my ass. He rides me until I’m so sore that I can’t stand. My knees start to give out. He pulls out after he comes and walks across the room. I hear the sound of his shoes, his voice.