He cocked his head, not understanding. I didn't either. Hands balled into fists, I stormed up to her. "You heard him! You'll get your money." I shooed her off with a hand. "Now go back to whatever hole you crawled out of."
Joey drilled daggers into me with her eyes. She kept her gaze on me, but spoke to Kellan. "I have something of yours that I'm returning"-she looked up at him-"since I have no use for it." Kellan bunched his brows and Joey smirked at his confused expression. "And if you want it back . . . sweetheart . . . then you'll double my price."
"You're nuts, lady!" I snapped.
Joey ignored me, turning her eyes to Kellan. Then she leaned over and grabbed her bag off the chair, her short skirt exposing almost all of her thigh. Opening the bag, she pulled out a tiny, rectangular media card, the kind that fits into digital cameras, camcorders, and some cell phones. Kellan's eyes widened when he saw it. He snapped his eyes to hers, and before I could ask what the hell was going on, he quickly told her, "Fine, I'll give you three thousand."
Throwing me a victorious smile, Joey handed Kellan the SD card. My mind was spinning over just what was on that card that Kellan was willing to pay so much money for. The fire in my belly shifted to nausea. Kellan clenched his hand around it, then pointed at the door. "I'll get it to you tomorrow."
Joey patted his cheek. "You better . . . 'cause I will make your life a living hell if you don't." She glanced back at me with a wicked grin.
Kellan closed his eyes. "Get the hell out of my house, Joey." Reopening them, he added, "And don't ever come back here."
Waggling her fingers at my parents, Joey sauntered to the front door. No one moved or spoke as she left the house. When the sound of her car starting filtered in through the door, Kellan finally seemed to relax. Turning to my parents, he discretely tucked the card he was holding into his pocket.
"I'm sorry about that. I hope she didn't give you too much trouble while we were gone."
My dad's posture turned rigid as he looked up at Kellan. I could have sworn his graying hair was getting grayer by the second. "I'm more concerned about what the two of you were doing last night than your tawdry friend." Cheeks flushed, he looked between my new husband and me. "What's this about you running off and getting married?" He focused his warm brown eyes on me. "Have you lost your mind, Kiera?"
Mom sniffled again, and Dad patted her hand. I wanted to sit and talk with them about last night, but I was still shell-shocked. What the hell did Kellan have in his pocket? And why was it worth three grand to him?
As Dad patted the couch insistently, Kellan looked back at me. His face was a mixture of amusement, resignation . . . and fear. I wasn't sure if he was doing it purposely, but he'd angled his h*ps in such a way that I couldn't see his card-holding pocket anymore. I still knew that damn thing was in there, though.
Kellan indicated that I should sit in the empty space beside my father, then pointed at the front door. "I'll be right back. I want to go check on my car, make sure Joey didn't mess with it." Giving me a tight smile, he added, "If she keyed my baby, you may need to restrain me, 'cause I might kill her." He laughed as he started to move toward the door.
My words stopped him cold. "What's on the SD card?"
The amused smile instantly left Kellan's face. Swallowing, he shook his head. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it, Kiera."
Ignoring my parents for a moment, I stepped close to Kellan. I tried to reach around him, to grab his pocket, but he nimbly stepped away from me. Trying very hard to control the anger roiling my stomach, I repeated, "What's on the card?"
Seeing that I wasn't going to back down, Kellan leaned in and whispered, "Can we talk about this later . . . in private?"
I wanted to nod my head and sit down to explain my "symbolic" marriage to my worried parents, but I couldn't get the smirk on Joey's face out of my mind. Aware that I sounded like a broken record, but not able to stop myself, I asked again, "What's on the card?"
Irritated at me now, Kellan narrowed his eyes and snapped, "What do you think it is, Kiera? We filmed ourselves screwing!" Instant remorse crossed his face once he realized what he'd just crassly told me. Kellan sometimes lost the filter on his mouth when he got annoyed, and Joey confronting him had put him on edge. I guess my incessant questions pushed him over it.
My mouth dropped open and I felt like he'd just doused me with ice water. I knew that's what he was going to say, I really did, but hearing him confess it hurt. My whole body felt cracked, torn. Eyes quickly watering, I murmured, "You made a sex tape with her?"
My mom cleared her throat and shifted on the couch. That's when I suddenly remembered that Kellan and I weren't alone. No, I stupidly hadn't been able to wait until we were in private to start this conversation. I really wished I'd been able to squelch my curiosity. I'd give anything to not know that my new husband had a documentary of him banging another girl in his pocket. And I'd really give anything for my parents to not know that too.
Seeing my pain, Kellan came toward me, arms extended. "Kiera, I can explain."
I held my palms up to him as tears dropped to my cheeks. I didn't want an explanation right now. I just wanted to be alone. Turning from him and my parents, I darted up the stairs. I heard Kellan asking me to wait and my mom calling my name, but I ignored them. Slamming the bedroom door behind me, I tossed my shoes across the room, collapsed onto my bed, and let the tears flow freely.
So much for nothing ruining my happiness.
Chapter 2: Falling in Love
Once the tears were expelled I felt better about the situation. I knew I was overreacting; it wasn't as if Kellan had just made the tape recently or anything. The shock of it had thrown me, was all. And the disgust. I couldn't stand the idea of another woman's hands on him, regardless of when it had happened. Having the memories of hearing him please other girls while I was across the hall was bad enough. The idea of watching it made me want to throw up. In fact, I held my hand over my mouth just in case.
When my sobs subsided, I heard murmuring downstairs. Dad was probably giving Kellan a piece of his mind. Knowing I needed to get over this, I tried to think of anything but Joey's yellow high heels wrapped around Kellan's torso. It was really difficult to push that image from my head, though.
Needing some help from the present, I slipped off my promise ring and stared at the tiny diamonds lining the sides. As I studied each diamond, I recalled all of the romantic and touching things that he had said to me and no one else.
I'd rather hold a beautiful girl than be all bruised tomorrow. I need to be close to you. Every girl is you to me. You're all I see . . . you're all I want. We could be amazing together. You wreck me. Stay. Stay with me. Work it out with me. Just don't leave me . . . please. I'm sure that I want my life to always have you in it. We're married . . . you're my wife. I love you.
By the time I heard a light rap on the door, my emotions and my stomach had leveled. I actually felt a little silly about the whole thing. Kellan cracked open the door but didn't enter the room. "Kiera . . . can I come in?"
Rolling over to face the door, I wiped my eyes dry and readjusted my short dress. "Yeah," I croaked out, my voice scratchy.
The door didn't open right away, and I frowned at the closed wood. After another pause, Kellan asked, "You're not gonna . . . throw anything at me, are you?"
A chuckle escaped me, and hearing it, Kellan pushed the door open. I smiled up at his worried expression and shook my head. "No, it's safe."
Kellan quietly closed the door behind him, then walked over to the bed. His eyes locked onto the ring in my hand that I was still fingering. His steps slowed and his eyes glassed over. Not able to pull his gaze from my jewelry, he whispered, "Are you leaving me?"
As I searched his troubled face, I considered what my fidgeting probably looked like to him. I'd gotten upset, dramatically run away from him, and then he'd found me holding my wedding ring like I didn't want to wear it anymore. I immediately slid it back onto my finger. His eyes, still heavy with unshed tears, lifted to mine. My heart broke as I held my arms open for him. "No, of course I'm not leaving you."
He still seemed unsure, so I sat up on my knees and grabbed his T-shirt. Pulling him into me, I flung my arms around his neck. He instantly relaxed as he wrapped his arms around me. Inhaling his scent, I whispered in his ear, "I was remembering all of the reasons why I love you so much. I was appreciating everything you do, and everything you are. I was falling in love with you, all over again."
Kellan pulled back, amazement on his face. "You find out, the day after we get married, that I have a sex tape with another girl . . . and that makes you fall in love with me again?" He felt my forehead, like he was sure I was ill.
I laughed again and pulled him onto the bed with me. "Well, no, the tape doesn't thrill me, but"-resting my head on his shoulder, I stared up into his deep blue eyes-"there is so much about you that does, and I won't let this one thing ruin it . . . ruin us."
Kellan smiled and kissed my forehead. "Have I told you today how much I love you?"
Nestling into the crook of his arm, I tangled my legs with his and rested my cheek on his chest, right over the spot where my name was etched on his skin. "Probably, but I'll never get tired of hearing you say it."
Fisting his shirt in my hands, I took a moment to enjoy his comfort. His deep voice rumbled in my ear as he broke the silence. "I'm really sorry, Kiera. I never meant for you to find out about that."
I glanced at his hip, wondering if he still had the card in his pocket, then peeked up at his apologetic face. "I don't want you to hide things just because you think the truth will make me unhappy. We've gotten into trouble too many times that way already."
Kellan nodded, his eyes contemplative. "You're right. And I think I would have told you eventually . . . although, definitely not the morning after our wedding night. But, to be honest, I kind of forgot about the tape with Joey." His pursed his lips, clearly unhappy that Joey had un-fortuitously shown up and reminded him.
Fixing my gaze on his strong, clean-shaven jaw, I asked, "How do you forget making a sex tape with your roommate? I would have thought something like that stood out."
Kellan tensed underneath me, and I shifted my focus to his eyes. Before I could ask the question that was filling me with dread, Kellan sighed and shook his head. "I really am sorry, Kiera. She asked . . . I didn't care. I didn't really say no to a whole lot back then and she-" He clamped his mouth shut and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, he whispered, "I wasn't thinking about the future, about what I was leaving behind . . . and I'm sorry."
Getting a really bad feeling, I sat up. "That's not the only tape you made, is it?"
Kellan cringed, and I immediately had my answer. "I'm so sorry, Kiera," he whispered again.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I shook my head in disbelief. "Oh my God . . . I married Ron Jeremy."
Kellan struggled to keep his expression neutral, but he couldn't for very long. I smacked his shoulder when he laughed out loud. Grabbing my hands, he sat up and pulled my arms around his waist. Pulling me into his chest, he soothingly rubbed my back. My brief spark of anger died as he held me. Then a feeling of melancholy washed over me.
"They'll never all stay hidden, Kellan. Not once your band hits the airwaves. Not once your name is well-known. Once people know they can make money off of you"-I peeked up at his face-"those tapes will be everywhere."
His smile a sad one, he nodded. "I know . . . and I can't apologize enough."
Examining his expression, sympathy welled in me. "It's not my body being peddled, Kellan. You don't need to apologize for something you did years ago. I just . . . I feel bad that your intimate life is going to be so . . . public."
Kellan shrugged. "I don't care about that." He cupped my cheek. "I just don't want it to hurt you."
Leaning into his hand, I let out a long exhale. "Well, at least I'll be prepared for it." I smirked at him. "And it's not like I'm ever going to watch them." Kellan laughed, and I shook my head and closed my eyes. It stung a little that the world would eventually see my husband in all of his glory, but it didn't really matter. He wasn't that man anymore. He was my man.