After filling out my paperwork, I shuffled out to the emergency room lobby to wait for news on Kellan. Nobody had been able to tell me anything yet. It was a busy day in the ER, and as I scanned the crowd, I wondered how many poor souls had had their lives altered today. Like me. Tears filled my eyes, but I held them back. I didn't have time to break down, and I didn't need to. Kellan was going to be fine.
My purse was strapped around my chest. It had miraculously remained attached to me throughout the entire accident. Setting down my cold compress, I dug through my bag for my cell phone. Hopefully it had also survived and still worked. I needed to be doing something. I needed to be active. If I stopped, even just for a second, I'd start to think, and I didn't want to think. I didn't want to worry.
Thankfully, the phone was intact. Scrolling through the list of people that mattered to me, I wondered who to call first when I heard somebody shout at the top of their lungs, "Kiera!"
I looked up and scoured the patients until I found the person who had yelled for me. Eyes wide and bloodshot, my sister was running across the lobby to get to me; Griffin and Evan were right behind her. Anna engulfed me in a hug that knocked me back a step. It hurt, but I didn't care. I tossed my arms around and hugged her back just as hard. "Anna," I croaked, trying not to sob.
Smoothing my hair, she whispered, "You're okay, you're okay, thank God you're okay." Pulling back, she cupped my cheeks. "Do not ever scare me like that again, you hear me?"
I nodded as I fought back tears. Griffin and Evan stepped up to us. I looked around for Matt, but I didn't see him anywhere. Both boys looked pale, somber. Griffin looked a little green as he held Gibson tight to his chest. "They won't tell us anything. Do you know what's happening to Kellan? Is he gonna be okay?" he asked, his voice breaking.
Stepping apart from Anna, I swallowed three times so I could speak. "He's still in surgery." Plastering on a fake smile, I added, "But he'll be fine."
Anna rubbed my back, "Kiera, I saw the accident on the Internet. The reporters caught every second of it."
Blinking away the collecting moisture in my eyes, I locked gazes with her. "He'll be fine," I reiterated.
Eyes shimmering, Griffin stared down at his daughter. Evan enclosed me in a warm hug. When he pulled back, I scrunched my brows; it felt weird with my partially numb head. "Where's Matt? Isn't he here?"
Griffin sniffed, then looked toward a set of automatic doors. "He's still outside. He said he needed to make some calls before he came in here . . ."
Giving Evan one last squeeze, I looked over to the doors. Sure enough, in the distance, I could see Matt pacing back and forth. He looked troubled, but that was to be expected. "I'm going to go let him know about Kellan."
Everyone nodded at me. Anna cuddled into Griffin's side. For once, the way the pair embraced each other was heartwarming and spoke volumes about how much they really did love each other. The way they looked at each other said even more. Turning from them, I made my way to Matt. He had to be just as worried as his band mates.
Halfway to the doors, the phone I was still clutching in my hand rang. Relief mixed with pain when I saw who was calling me. "Denny, I'm so glad you called, I-"
He cut me off. "I saw the accident on the news. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
Denny let out a long, relieved exhale. "I was so worried. The footage is scary as hell, they won't even show all of it on TV. God, I am so happy to hear your voice."
I closed my eyes as I walked through the doors that led to where Matt was still walking back and forth. "I'm fine, but Kellan-"
Denny's voice was so quiet, I almost didn't hear him over the hum of the doors. "Please tell me he's okay."
I pressed my lips tight together. God, I hated saying it. I hated thinking it. I hated everything about this moment. "He's in surgery. They aren't sure . . ."
"Jesus. Kiera . . . I'm . . . I'm so sorry."
Even though we were in the middle of New York City, it was quiet outside the hospital. Peaceful. I could hear everything going on around me-cars driving past, a couple talking as they walked down the sidewalk, a siren in the distance, and Denny sniffling in my ear. "I'm sure he'll be fine, Kiera." By the pain in his voice, I could tell that, regardless of what had happened between them, Denny was genuinely concerned for his longtime friend.
I leaned against a column supporting the overhang to the ER entrance. Matt stopped pacing and stared at me. The terror in his eyes matched the horror in my heart. "He has to be," I whispered. I couldn't picture my life without him.
I hung up with Denny after telling him that I'd call him the minute I had any news on Kellan. When I tucked the phone back in my purse, Matt approached me. "I'm so glad you're okay, Kiera. That was the scariest shit I've ever seen."
Walking over to him, I nodded. He had his cell phone in his hand, and he was squeezing it so tight, his fingers were bloodless. Placing my hand over his, I attempted to relax his death grip on the device. "Who were you calling?"
He stared at the doors over my shoulder. "My parents, Rachel . . ." When his gaze returned to mine, his pale eyes were glossy. "I'm scared to go in there," he whispered.
"I am, too," I told him. Successfully dislodging his cell phone, I grabbed his hand. It tightened around mine like a vice, like I was the only thing keeping him upright. "We'll go in together, okay?"
Looking like a lost little boy who had finally found someone to guide him home, Matt nodded at me. Together, we walked into the hospital to await Kellan's fate.
Deacon and the rest of the boys from Holeshot were waiting back inside the ER, as was Taskmaster Tory and some of the crew members. They all looked just as worried as we were. While everyone settled into a comfortable place to wait, I called everyone I could think of-Jenny, Cheyenne, Kate, my parents, Kellan's dad. Most of them had already heard the news by this point, but talking to them gave me something to do besides worrying about Kellan.
When I had exhausted the contact list in my phone, Anna pulled me into a bathroom to clean me up; I was still a blood-covered mess. She washed my face and my hands and tore off one of her layered long-sleeved T-shirts. It was a maternity shirt and way too big for me, but it effectively hid the blood splattered across my top. Still ripe with emotion, Anna lightly kissed the bandage on my head. "I never want to see your head wrapped in gauze again," she told me.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I nodded in agreement. "Me either."
"I'm so glad you're okay." Starting to lose it, she brought her hands to her face.
Knowing she needed to cry, I held her tight and let her. I stopped myself from crying along with her, though. There was no need. Kellan was fine.
When we got back to the waiting room, I noticed people staring out the window, pointing and whispering. I didn't really care what they were finding so interesting, I just wanted news on Kellan. But Deacon was with them and he motioned me over. "You gotta see this, Kiera."
Feeling stiff, sore, tired, and drained, I shuffled over to the wall of windows where people were gathering. Not knowing what to expect, I peeked outside. It was almost lunchtime, and there was a group of people across the street, leaning against a low wall by a parking lot. They looked like they were having a picnic. Fascinating. I was about to ask what the big deal was when I noticed the shirts under their jackets. They were all wearing D-Bags shirts, and the opaque cups they were holding as they stood in a line on the sidewalk weren't holding beverages, they had small candlesticks inserted through them that gave the cups a cheery glow on this dreary day. My heart swelled at the sight of even more people loving Kellan. He wouldn't believe this.
I knew the answer, but I had to ask the question anyway. "Are they here for Kellan?"
Deacon smiled as he stared at the growing crowd. "Yes."
Warmth filled me as I watched this silent vigil for Kellan. I could almost feel the healing, positive energy flowing from them. Kellan needed to see this. He needed to see how much he was cared about, how much he was loved.
"Mrs. Kyle?"
I turned around to see a woman with a stethoscope around her neck standing behind me. She was looking at every person in the waiting room, her face neutral. I didn't know what that face meant. This wasn't the doctor who had been with Kellan in the ER. I didn't know who she was or what she wanted. I'd already filled out the paperwork for both Kellan and myself with the nurse, so she had to be here to tell me about Kellan, about whether he was alive . . . or not. Why couldn't she smile, give me some ray of hope? My chest felt tight. Breathing was impossible. Stepping toward her, I nodded and raised my hand; it was all I could do.
Approaching me, she calmly said, "Your husband is out of surgery. Everything went well, and he's recovering in a room upstairs if you'd like to go see him."
My knees gave way, but Deacon caught me. "He's fine? You're sure he's fine?" I choked out.
The doctor finally smiled. "His spleen ruptured in the accident, which can be very dangerous, but my colleague and I were able to repair the tear and save the organ. He also bruised his hip, fractured a few ribs, and he'll be sore for a long time, but he was very lucky. I've seen much worse. He'll need to stay here for a few days so we can watch for complications, and then he'll need lots of rest . . ."
She kept speaking but I didn't hear a word of it. He was alive.
The assemblage waiting to see Kellan headed upstairs. Once we got to the nurse's station, a tall woman with her hair pulled back into a tight bun stopped our group. "Who are you here for?" she asked, eyeing our motley crew.
I looked behind me at the various band members and roadies. I could only imagine who the nurse thought we all were. Turning back to her, I spoke in a shaky, excited voice. "I'm here to see my husband, Kellan Kyle."
A small smile crept into her mouth, and I could tell she recognized his name. "Oh, yes, well he's still recovering so only one of you-"
I stepped forward, not letting her finish. "I need to see my husband, please."
She indicated with her head for me to follow her. While we walked down the crisp white halls, the nurse looked me over. "We've had a few celebrities over the years, but none quite as big as Kellan Kyle. Half of the girls on the floor are in an absolute tizzy that he's here. So, you're really his wife?"
My eyes were frantically scouring the names on all the doors we were passing. Where was he? "Yes," I told her, only half-listening.
"Oh," she said, sounding surprised. "All that hoopla with Sienna Sexton must have been really hard on the two of you."
I looked up at her. She seemed youthful, but the crinkles around her eyes and mouth suggested that she was older than she appeared. The smile she was giving me was full of sympathy. "You have no idea." I gave her a wry smile.
She held her hand out to me. "My name is Carly. If you need anything, you just let me know."
I gave her hand a quick shake. "Thank you, I really appreciate that." I had a feeling I would definitely need her help while we were here.
I knew the minute we were at Kellan's room. I knew it because a swarm of young nurses were hovering at the open door, glancing inside. The smile on Carly's face vanished as she scowled at the girls. "If you all have nothing to do, I'm sure I could find something for you."
Tittering, the girls scampered off. Carly sighed as she indicated his door. "Like I said, we haven't had anyone quite like Kellan here."
A nervous laugh escaped me as I stepped into Kellan's private room. Leaving us alone, Carly closed the door as she left. The lights were low, the shades drawn. It was solemn and quiet. Kellan's eyes were closed and his head was angled away from me. The top of the bed was elevated some, so he was propped up, and the covers were tucked under his arms. His hands rested at his sides in an almost unnatural way. An IV pierced through the back of his left hand, pumped him full of medication and painkillers. His ring was missing; they must have removed it before the surgery.
Kellan was tall and well-built, but he looked tiny as he lay in the bed. The sight made my eyes sting.