I pulled my bag up higher on my shoulder and thought carefully about how to explain this to him one more time. I'd tried everything. He wouldn't understand the truth. Bringing up how he had failed me when my mom was sick and I was so alone would only hurt him. "I need to do this."
Cain let out a frustrated growl and ran his hand through his hair. "You don't trust me to take care of you. That hurts so damn much." He let out a defeated laugh. "But then why should you? I let you down before. With your mom... I was a kid, B. How many times do I have to tell you that things are different now? I know what I want. I... God, B, I want you. It's always been you."
A lump formed in my throat. Not because I loved him but because I did care for him. Cain was a big part of my life. He had been for as long as I could remember. I closed the distance between us and reached out for his hand. "Please, understand. This is something I have to do. I have to face this. Let me go."
Cain let out a weary sigh. "I'm always letting you go, B. You've asked that of me before. I keep trying but it's slowly destroying me."
One day he would thank me for leaving him. "I'm sorry, Cain. But I need to go. He's waiting on me."
Cain picked the suitcase back up and opened the screen door with his shoulder. Rush stepped out of the Rover as soon as he saw us. "Don't say anything to him, Cain." I whispered.
Cain nodded and I followed him down the steps. Rush met us at the bottom and looked up at me. "Is this all your stuff?" he asked.
"Yeah," I replied.
Cain didn't make a move to give him the suitcase and box. A muscle in Rush's jaw jumped and I knew he was trying really hard to be good.
"Give him the stuff, Cain," I said, nudging him in the back.
Cain sighed and handed the box and suitcase to Rush who took both items and headed for the Rover.
"You need to tell him," Cain muttered when he turned around to look at me.
"I will, eventually. I need to think it through."
Cain looked past me toward my truck. "You leaving your truck?"
"I was hoping you might could stick it up at the bodyshop and put a for sale sign on it. Maybe get a thousand out of it. Then you could keep half and send me the other half."
Cain frowned. "I'll sell the truck, B, but I ain't taking no money. I'll send it all."
I didn't argue with him. He needed to be able to do this and I'd let him. "Okay, fine. But could you give Granny Q some of it at least? For letting me stay here and all."
Cain's eyebrows shot up. "You want my Granny to ride her ass down to Rosemary to tan your hide?"
Smiling, I closed the distance between us and holding onto his shoulders I stood on my tiptoes and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, for everything," I whispered.
"You can come back if you need me. Always." His voice cracked and I knew I needed to go. I stepped back and nodded once before walking to the Rover.
Rush had the door open on the passenger side when I got there and he closed it behind me. I watched as he looked back at Cain before going and getting in on his side. I was really doing this. Letting go of what was safe and taking the first move in finding my place in the world.
Chapter 15
Rush
She looked like she was about to cry and I was afraid to ask her if she was okay. My fear that she might change her mind and stay in Sumit kept me quiet until we were safely out of the town limits. Seeing her hands knotted tightly in her lap bothered me. I wish she'd say something.
"You good?" I asked, unable to stop myself. My need to protect her took over.
She nodded. "Yeah. It's just a little scary, I guess. This time I know I'm not coming back. I also know I don't have a dad waiting to help me out. Leaving was harder this time."
"You got me," I replied.
She tilted her head to the side and looked at me. "Thank you. I needed to hear that right now."
Hell, I'd record it so she could replay it over and over if it would help. "Don't ever think you're alone."
She gave me a weak smile then turned her attention back to the road. "You know I could drive if you would like to sleep this time."
The idea of being free to look at her all I wanted was tempting. But she'd expect me to sleep and I wasn't wasting any time I had with her by sleeping through it. "I'm good. Thanks, though."
I'd gone through a drive-thru and gotten something to eat on the drive down here. She'd been sleeping and I hadn't wanted to disturb her but she had to be hungry.
"I'm starving. What sounds good to you?" I asked, pulling back onto the interstate that would lead us back to Florida.
"Um... I... I don't know. Maybe soup."
Soup? That was an odd request. But hell, if she wanted soup I'd get her some soup.
"Soup it is. I'll keep my eyes open for a restaurant that I know has soup."
"If you're starving please just stop wherever you want. I can find something to eat anywhere." She sounded nervous again.
"Blair, I'm getting you soup," I replied, glancing over at her. I made sure to smile so she would know I wanted to get her soup.
"Thanks," she said and studied her hands in her lap again.
We didn't speak for awhile but it felt good just to have her in the car with me. I didn't want her to feel like she had to talk.
The first exit with food I pointed to the sign. "Looks like there are good options here. Pick a place," I told her.
She shrugged. "Doesn't matter. You know if you don't want to get out and want to stay on the road I could eat something car friendly."
I wanted to draw this day out as long as I possibly could. "We're getting soup," I replied.