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The Complete Stories(60)
Author: Isaac Asimov

When you're with your best girl and your mind's in a whirl and you don't

hear a thing that she's saying; Or at Symphony Hall you are gone past recall and you can't tell a note that

they're playing; Or you're driving a car and have not gone too far when you find that you've

sped through a red light, And on top of that, lord! you have sideswiped a Ford, and have broken your

one working headlight; Or your boss slaps your back (having made some smart crack) and you stare

at him, stupidly blinking; Then you say something dumb so he's sure you're a crumb, and are possibly

given to drinking.

When events such as that have been knocking you flat, do not blame supernatural forces; If you write s.f. tales, you'll be knocked off your rails, just as sure as the stars in their courses.

For your plot-making mind will stay deaf, dumb and blind to the dull facts of life that will hound you, While the wonders of space have you close in embrace and the glory of star beams surround you.

You begin with a ship that is caught on a skip into hyperspace en route for

Castor, And has found to its cost that it seems to be lost in a Galaxy like ours, but

vaster. You're a little perplexed as to what may come next and you make up a series

of creatures Who are villains and liars with such evil desires and with perfectly horrible

features. Our brave heroes are faced with these hordes and are placed in a terribly

crucial position, For the enemy's bound (once our Galaxy's found) that they'll beat mankind

into submission. Now you must make it rough when developing stuff so's to keep the yarn

pulsing with tension, So the Earthmen are four (only four and no more) while the numbers of foes

are past mention.

Our four heroes are caught and accordingly brought to the sneering, tyrannical leaders. "Where is Earth?" they demand, but the men mutely stand with a courage

that pleases the readers.

But, now, wait just a bit; let's see, this isn't it, since you haven't provided a

maiden, Who is both good and pure (yet with sexy allure) and with not many clothes

overladen. She is part of the crew, and so she's captured, too, and is ogled by foes who

are lustful; There's desire in each eye and there's good reason why, for of beauty our girl

has a bustful. Just the same you go fast till this section is passed so the reader won't raise

any ruction, When recalling the foe are all reptiles and so have no interest in human

seduction. Then they truss up the girl and they make the whips swirl just in order to

break Earthmen's silence, And so that's when our men break their handcuffs and then we are treated

to scenes full of violence. Every hero from Earth is a fighter from birth and his fists are a match for a

dozen,

And then just when this spot has been reached in your plot you come to with your mind all a buzzin'.

You don't know where you are, or the site of your car, and your tie is askew and you haven't a clue of the time of the day or of what people say or the fact that they stare at your socks (not a pair) and decide it's a fad, or else that you're mad, which is just a surmise from the gleam in your eyes, till at last they conclude from your general mood, you'll be mad from right now till you're hoary.

But the torture is done and it's now for the fun and the paper that's white and the words that are right, for you've worked up a new s.f. story.


Dreaming Is a Private Thing

Jesse Weill looked up from his desk. His old, spare body, his sharp, high-bridged nose, deep-set, shadowy eyes and amazing shock of white hair had trademarked his appearance during the years that Dreams, Inc., had become world-famous.

He said, "Is the boy here already, Joe?"

Joe Dooley was short and heavy-set. A cigar caressed his moist lower lip. He took it away for a moment and nodded. "His folks are with him. They're all scared."

"You're sure this is not a false akrm, Joe? I haven't got much time." He looked at his watch. "Government business at two."

"This is a sure thing, Mr. Weill." Dooley's face was a study in earnestness. His jowls quivered with persuasive intensity. "Like I told you, I picked him up playing some kind of basketball game in the schoolyard. You should've seen the kid. He stunk. When he had his hands on the ball, his own team had to take it away, and fast, but just the same he had all the stance of a star player. Know what I mean? To me it was a giveaway."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Well, sure. I stopped him at lunch. You know me." Dooley gestured expansively with his cigar and caught the severed ash with his other hand. "Kid, I said-"

"And he's dream material?"

"I said, 'Kid, I just came from Africa and-' "

"All right." Weill held up the palm of his hand. "Your word I'll always take. How you do it I don't know, but when you say a boy is a potential dreamer, I'll gamble. Bring him in."

The youngster came in between his parents. Dooley pushed chairs forward and Weill rose to shake hands. He smiled at the youngster in a way that turned the wrinkles of his face into benevolent creases.

"You're Tommy Slutsky?"

Tommy nodded wordlessly. He was about ten and a little small for that. His dark hair was plastered down unconvincingly and his face was unrealisti-cally clean.

Weill said, "You're a good boy?"

The boy's mother smiled at once and patted Tommy's head maternally (a gesture which did not soften the anxious expression on the youngster's face). She said, "He's always a very good boy."

Weill let this dubious statement pass. "Tell me, Tommy," he said, and held out a lollipop which was first hesitated over, then accepted, "do you ever listen to dreamies?"

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