Murbella spoke softly. "You will tolerate them and offer them no violence whatsoever."
Angelika was emboldened by Murbella's mild tone. "Is that Great Honored Matre's decision or the -"
"Enough! I could bloody the floor of this room with the lot of you! Do you wish to test it?"
They did not wish to test it.
"And what if I say to you that it is Mother Superior speaking? You will ask do I have a policy to meet our problem? I will say: Policy? Ahh, yes. I have a policy for unimportant things such as insect infestations. Unimportant things call for policies. For such of you as do not see the wisdom in my decision, I need no policy. Your kind I dispose of quickly. Dead before you know you've been injured! That is my response to the presence of filth. Is there any filth in this room?"
It was language they recognized: the lash of the Great Honored Matre backed by ability to kill.
"You are my Council," Murbella said. "I expect wisdom from you. The least you can do is pretend you are wise."
Humorous sympathy from Odrade: If that's the way Honored Matres give and take orders, it won't require much deep analysis by Bell.
Murbella's thoughts went elsewhere. I am no longer Honored Matre.
The step from one to another was so recent she found her Honored Matre performance uncomfortable. Her adjustments were a metaphor of what would happen to her former Sisters. A new role and she did not wear it well. Other Memory simulated long association with herself as this new person. This was no mystical transubstantiation, merely new abilities.
Merely?
The change was profound. Did Duncan realize this? It pained her that he might never see through to this new person.
Is that the residue of my love for him?
Murbella drew back from her questions, not wanting an answer. She felt repelled by something that went deeper than she cared to burrow.
There will be decisions I must make that love would prevent. Decisions for the Sisterhood and not for myself. That is where my fear is pointing.
Immediate necessities restored her. She sent her councillors away, promising pain and death if they failed to learn this new restraint.
Next, Reverend Mothers must be taught a new diplomacy: getting along with no one - not even with each other. It would grow easier in time. Honored Matres slipping into Bene Gesserit ways. One day, there would be no Honored Matres; only Reverend Mothers with improved reflexes and augmented knowledge of sexuality.
Murbella felt haunted by words she had heard but not accepted until this moment. "The things we will do for Bene Gesserit survival have no limits."
Duncan will see this. I cannot keep it from him. The Mentat will not hold to a fixed idea of what I was before the Agony. He opens his mind as I open a door. He will examine his net. "What have I caught this time?"
Was this what happened to Lady Jessica? Other Memory carried Jessica threaded into the warp and woof of Sharings. Murbella unraveled a bit and paraded elder knowledge.
Heretic Lady Jessica? Malfeasance in office?
Jessica had plunged into love as Odrade had plunged into the sea and the resultant waves had all but engulfed the Sisterhood.
Murbella sensed this taking her where she did not want to go. Pain clutched her chest.
Duncan! Ohhhh, Duncan! She dropped her face into her hands. Dar, help me. What am I to do?
Never ask why you're a Reverend Mother.
I must! The progression is clear in my memory and...
That's a sequence. Thinking of it as cause and effect beguiles you away from totality.
Tao?
Simpler: You are here.
But Other Memory goes back and back and...
Imagine it's pyramids - interlocked.
Those are just words!
Is your body still functioning?
I hurt, Dar. You don't have a body any more and it's useless to...
We occupy different niches. The pains I felt are not your pains. My joys are not yours.
I don't want your sympathy! Ohh, Dar! Why was I born?
Were you born to lose Duncan?
Dar, please!
So you were born and now you know that's never enough. So you became an Honored Matre. What else could you do? Still not enough? Now you're a Reverend Mother. You think that's enough? It's never enough as long as you're alive.
You're telling me I must always reach beyond myself.
Pah! You don't make decisions on that basis. Didn't you hear him? Don't think; do it! Will you chose the easy way? Why should you feel sad because you've encountered the inevitable? If that's all you can see, confine yourself to improving the breed!
Damn you! Why did you do this to me?
Do what?
Make me see myself and my former Sisters this way!
What way?
Damn you! You know what I mean!
Former Sisters, you say?
Oh, you are insidious.
All Reverend Mothers are insidious.
You never stop teaching!
Is that what I do?
How innocent I was! Asking you what you really do.
You know as well as I do. We wait for humankind to mature. The Tyrant only provided them time to grow but now they need care.
What's the Tyrant have to do with my pain?
You foolish woman! Did you fail the Agony?
You know I didn't!
Stop stumbling over the obvious.
Oh, you bitch!
I prefer witch. Either is preferable to whore.
The only difference between Bene Gesserit and Honored Matre is the marketplace. You married our Sisterhood.
Chapter Thirty-One
Our Sisterhood?
You bred for power! How is that different from...
Don't twist it, Murbella! Keep your eyes on survival.
Don't tell me you had no power.
Temporary authority over people intent on survival.
Survival again!
In a Sisterhood that promotes the survival of others. Like the married woman who bears children.