Murray felt a quaver but the words came out with a perfect calm. "Am I in Hell then, after all? You have implied there is none, but if this were Hell you would lie as part of the game of Hell."
The Voice said, "In that case, of what use is it to assure you that you are not in Hell? Nevertheless, I assure you. There is here neither Heaven nor Hell. There is only myself."
Murray said, "Consider, then, that my thoughts may be useless to you. If I come up with nothing useful, will it not be worth your while to - disassemble me and take no further trouble with me?"
"As a reward? You want Nirvana as the prize of failure and you intend to assure me failure? There is no bargain there. You will not fail. With all eternity before you, you cannot avoid having at least one interesting thought, however you try against it."
"Then I will create another purpose for myself. I will not try to destroy myself. I will set as my goal the humiliation of you. I will think of something you have not only never thought of but never could think of. I will think of the last answer, beyond which there is no knowledge further."
The Voice said, "You do not understand the nature of the infinite. There may be things I have not yet troubled to know. There cannot be anything I cannot know."
Murray said thoughtfully, "You cannot know your beginning. You have said so. Therefore you cannot know your end. Very well, then. That will be my purpose and that will be the last answer. I will not destroy myself. I will destroy you - if you do not destroy me first."
The Voice said, "Ah! You come to that in rather less than average time. I would have thought it would have taken you longer. There is not one of those I have with me in this existence of perfect and eternal thought that does not have the ambition of destroying me. It cannot be done."
Murray said, "I have all eternity to think of a way of destroying you."
The Voice said, equably, "Then try to think of it." And it was gone.
But Murray had his purpose now and was content.
For what could any Entity, conscious of eternal existence, want - but an end?
For what else had the Voice been searching for countless billions of years? And for what other reason had intelligence been created and certain specimens salvaged and put to work, but to aid in that great search? And Murray intended that it would be he, and he alone, who would succeed.
Carefully, and with the thrill of purpose, Murray began to think.
He had plenty of time.
Lest We Remember
1
The problem with John Heath, as far as John Heath was concerned, was that he struck a dead average. He was sure of it. What was worse, he felt that Susan suspected it.
It meant he would never make a true mark in the world, never climb to the top of Quantum Pharmaceuticals, where he was a steady cog among the junior executives - never make the Quantum Leap.
Nor would he do it anywhere else, if he changed jobs.
He sighed inwardly. In just two more weeks he was going to be married and for her sake he yearned to be upwardly mobile. After all, he loved her madly and wanted to shine in her eyes.
But then, that was dead average for a young man about to be married.
Susan Collins looked at John lovingly. And why not? He was reasonably good-looking and intelligent and a steady, affectionate fellow besides. If he didn't blind her with his brilliance, he at least didn't upset her with an erraticism he didn't possess.
She patted the pillow she had placed behind his head when he sat down in the armchair and handed him his drink, making sure he had a firm grip before she let go.
She said, "I'm practicing to treat you well, Johnny. I've got to be an efficient wife."
John sipped at his drink. "I'm the one who'll have to be on my toes, Sue. Your salary is higher than mine."
"It's all going to go into one pocket once we're married. It will be the firm of Johnny and Sue keeping one set of books."
"You'll have to keep it," said John despondently. "I'm bound to make mistakes if I try."
"Only because you're sure you will. When are your friends coming?"
"Nine, I think. Maybe nine-thirty. And they're not exactly friends. They're Quantum people from the research labs."
"You're sure they won't expect to be fed?"
"They said after dinner. I'm positive about that. It's business."
She looked at him quizzically. "You didn't say that before."
"Say what before?"
"That it was business. Are you sure?"
John felt confused. Any effort to remember precisely always left him confused. "They said so - I think."
Susan's look was that of good-natured exasperation, rather like the one she would have given a friendly puppy who is completely unaware its paws are muddy. "If you really thought," she said, ''as often as you say '1 think' you wouldn't be so perennially uncertain. Don't you see it can't be business. If it were business, wouldn't they see you at business?"
"It's confidential," said John. "They don't want to see me at work. Not even at my apartment."
"Why here, then?"
"Oh, I suggested that. I thought you ought to be around, anyway. They're going to have to deal with the firm of Johnny and Sue, right?"
"It depends," said Susan, "on what the confidential is all about. Did they give you any hints?"
"No, but it couldn't hurt to listen. It could be something that would give me a boost in standing at the firm."
"Why you?" asked Susan.
John looked hurt, "Why not me?"
"It just strikes me that someone at your job level doesn't require all that confidentiality and that - "