“Hold up,” Longshot said, lifting his face skyward as if in supplication. I had the sense I was a trial to him. “I never said anything about exile. Going off half-cocked will get you killed. I appreciate your courage and loyalty, but what good is throwing away your own life?”
“It’s worth nothing without courage,” I said quietly.
He sighed. “I can’t condone your mission, but here’s the truth. I’m not willing to order you to stay. You’ll sneak off first chance you get—and well do I know it. So here’s my offer. Talk to the men. If anyone’s willing to accompany you on this harebrained mission, you’re welcome to take him. Wait long enough for me to get replacements from town, and then you’re free to go.”
Though I chafed at the delay, I wouldn’t get a better deal. There was enough of the Huntress left in me, who believed in putting the good of the whole first, above her own feelings, that I realized I couldn’t just take off with however many men wanted to go Freak hunting, leaving the outpost vulnerable. The Freaks might be hoping we’d do exactly that, giving them the chance to slaughter those remaining and destroy the crops, which were nearly ready to be harvested. I couldn’t take the chance that this was a lure.
“Agreed,” I bit out, and then went in search of Stalker.
It didn’t take as much pleading as I expected to get him to agree. He’d tired of sitting around weeks ago. After that, I made the rounds, explaining the situation, and what I intended to do about it. I wasn’t surprised when nobody volunteered. They shared Longshot’s opinion that it was a waste of time—Fade and Frank were already lost. I’d imagined some might want vengeance for our fallen, but they weren’t warriors at heart, even if they could shoot rifles from a wall.
Only two guards remained to be asked, Gary Miles and Odell Ellis. They were thick, always whispering about me when I went past. I hesitated over approaching them, given the bad blood between Miles and me, but if they could help find Fade, it would be wrong and cowardly of me to refuse to request their aid. Miles was up the watchtower, standing sentry, and I climbed to the platform.
Quickly, I summarized the situation. And then: “Will you help?”
He flashed me an alarming smile. “So you need me now, do you, puss? Will you make it worth my while?”
Sickness roiled in my belly. I wanted to stab him, but instead I forced a smile and sidestepped the question. “You’d be a hero if we succeed.”
Miles tapped his cheek, thoughtful, and then called down to his pal, Ellis, “Have you heard about our chance to be heroes, Odell?”
“Sure have,” his friend returned. “What do you think?”
“I’d love to spend some time tromping around the woods for a change.”
I didn’t trust their willingness to risk their lives, which meant they might be more trouble than they were worth out there, but it was too late for retraction. Stalker and I would be stuck with them. It occurred to me that I was going out to search for Fade and Frank with three angry males, none of whom had reason to wish me well.
Before he could do more than wink at me, I skinned back down the tower and went to find Longshot. “Ellis and Miles opted to come with Stalker and me.”
A frown seamed his brows together, and he stroked his mustache as he did when he was troubled. “I don’t like it. You watch your back out there. It’ll kill Momma Oaks if anything happens to you.”
That was a low blow, but I shrugged off the guilt. She’d survived the loss of her own son. Momma Oaks was as strong as the tree for which her family was named. She didn’t deserve additional pain but I couldn’t abandon Fade to spare her. He was mine, and I would get him back.
Somehow.
Even from the arms of death itself.
I doubted Ellis and Miles would prove helpful, but Stalker and I could take them. I was bringing them mostly because they’d make good Freak bait. As for their motives, I understood. They believed I’d make an easier target away from the outpost; they could get some revenge on me for humiliating them. Despite Longshot’s worry, I wasn’t stupid, and it wasn’t going to happen.
“I’ll rush it through,” the elder said. “You’ll be on your way by afternoon.”
That wasn’t nearly soon enough. While I waited, the trail went cold. He could be dead, as they all thought. I imagined Fade cooking over the fire they’d stolen from us, and I nearly died. Horror seared me like a live coal, burning endlessly in my heart. Unable to sit still, I returned to Fade and Frank’s tent. Stalker was already there on his hands and knees.
I watched him for a moment, and then asked, “What are you doing?”
“Trying to see which way they went.”
He had been good at tracking in the city, I remembered. It was how he’d earned his name. Out here, there were different signs to read, plants instead of dust and stone, but the fundamentals remained the same. Maybe he could discern something I’d missed. Hope tormented me.
“They dragged them that way,” he said finally. “Out the back of the tent.”
Squatting beside him, I saw the telltale broken blades of grass. People didn’t walk as much back here as they did elsewhere, so the signs were easier to read for someone who knew what to look for.
“Can you tell how many Freaks?”
He shook his head. “Two or three, I’d guess, by the trample patterns. Just enough to move quietly and get the job done.”
“Why would they take them? It makes no sense.”
“Maybe to instill fear? They’ve learned they can’t defeat us with a frontal assault. We have better weapons and training, so they do what’s left, making us scared of the dark instead.”
Though it was full light, a sunny day, a shiver stole through me. I had slept uneasily ever since the fire thief crept into our camp, but this was worse. I didn’t know how I’d ever close my eyes again. When I had been banished from College, I thought I could experience no greater pain than watching my former friends stare at me with judgmental hatred.
I had been wrong. This hurt more.
Stalker covered my hand with his. “I know you’re scared, but I’ll find him for you if he can be found.”
My jaw dropped. Comfort? I didn’t expect that from him.
“Why would you—” I couldn’t complete the question, couldn’t accuse him of being secretly glad Fade had disappeared.
“If I ever win you,” he said, anger bright in his pale eyes, “it will be because you want me more. Not because he’s gone. I’m nobody’s second best.”
“I’m sorry,” I said miserably.
He put aside his fury as if it were a pair of shoes grown too small. “It’s all right. I understand.”
He didn’t touch me, other than his hand on mine, and I felt grateful. If he had, I would have lost control completely—wept or screamed or something worse—though I wasn’t sure what. My head echoed with self-recrimination. I’d failed, utterly and completely. My tent wasn’t that far. Why hadn’t I heard something? The fact nobody else had offered cold comfort. It meant the Freaks were getting better at stealth, learning from the animals in the forest. They were already strong, fierce, and territorial. They didn’t need to excel at quiet kills too.
When I calmed, he drew his hand away. “Let me finish scouting the area. You get our provisions packed.”
That was good thinking. I’d prepare our supplies, so we’d be ready to leave when replacements arrived. Plus, keeping busy meant I couldn’t imagine terrible, heartbreaking scenarios. I didn’t need to think about Fade, dead, Fade bleeding out, his body covered in mortal wounds, never to kiss me again, never to touch me, never to hold or talk to me again. I couldn’t picture his beauty cold and quiet for all time. Hands shaking, I rubbed my hands over my face, banishing the dark possibilities.
True to his word, Stalker gathered information while I packed our gear. It took longer than I expected because men complained about us taking anything. They thought it was a fool’s errand, and that if I wanted to leave, it should be with my weapons and my clothes alone. I could survive in the woods on my own—or not. Ellis and Miles proved of some use in this endeavor. They took what they needed without asking, and glared the other guards into silence. Our uneasy truce lasted until the men arrived from Salvation. I had no great conviction they would continue to be obliging once we left Longshot’s sight.
The new guards were a grim-faced lot, knowing they took the places of two who had died, and two more who went missing. The other four were simply unlucky, because Stalker and I were determined to search for our friends. Ellis and Miles were being replaced too. Still, the town must realize that this outpost was important. Come fall, the survivors could retreat behind the walls for another winter, and pretend no danger lurked in the wilderness.
Longshot stopped me on the edge of camp. He held Old Girl in the crook of his arm, anticipating trouble, or maybe he liked the reassurance of his weapon in difficult times. I felt the same about my daggers. Surreptitiously I touched them, making sure of their weight.
“Got everything you need?” he asked.
I nodded. “Thanks for not keeping me here. You could have.”
“I’ve known you awhile, and I reckon there’s no preventing you from doing what you think is right.”
There was nothing I could say to that. At best, it meant I was principled; at worst, pointlessly stubborn. I’d never ask Longshot which he thought I was. Like most, I was a mix of good and bad, anger and protectiveness, kindness and pride. But right now, I had only strangled fear and the promise of revenge.
“It’s time,” I called to Stalker, Ellis, and Miles.
They fell in behind me, following the trail toward the Freak-infested wood.
Purpose
Stalker led the way with his keen eyes and as we walked, he scanned for more signs of passage. I took rear guard because I intended to keep Miles and Ellis where I could see them. They spoke to each other in low tones, occasionally laughing with malicious intent. It wouldn’t be long before they tried whatever they had in mind and I had to be ready.
“Here,” Stalker said. “They put down their burdens. See how the grass is flattened and the dirt is churned.”
“How do you know a moose didn’t lay down there?” Ellis asked.
“The drag marks further on. And there would be marks from the hooves.”
When I bent, I saw them too, faint but unmistakable. Somebody’s heels—either Frank or Fade—made those indents in the soil. I nodded my thanks, and we went on, into the forest proper. At any moment, I expected to stumble upon them, devouring their prizes. The shadows thrown by the trees seemed ominous, dedicated to keeping secrets.
“How did you learn all of this?” I asked.
Stalker shrugged. “I haven’t been wasting my time in camp. I made friends with one of the hunters.”
By which he meant one of the guards responsible for procuring fresh meat for the town. That was one key difference. Bringing back game had been part of our job description, along with clearing Freaks out of our territory and protecting Builders and Breeders. As they had more guards in Salvation than we’d had Hunters down below, their division of labor made sense.