“And in all that time,” Adam finished, turning the full power of his blue-gray gaze on Cassie, “I was never sorry I'd given you the chalcedony rose-even though we never do that with outsiders. I hoped you'd never be in enough trouble to need it, but I wanted to be there for you if you were. If you'd ever done what I told you, held it tight in your fist and thought of me, I'd have known, and I'd have tracked it down, no matter where you were. I thought you were that special.”
Was it true? Cassie wondered dizzily. All those times she'd held the stone-but she'd never held it clenched in her fist and thought only of him. She'd never followed his instructions because she'd never believed in magic.
“And now I get back-and find you're not an outsider after all. Or only half. I was glad to see you here, and to hear you'd joined the Circle. And from what Diana's said, she saw how special you were right
away too. But I couldn't tell her I knew you-because for some reason you didn't want people to know. I respected that; I kept my mouth shut and figured you'd explain when you could. And instead-“ He gestured ail-inclusively. “This. You've been giving me the brush-off all week, and now you act as if nothing ever happened between us. You even call on the Powers against me, to make me believe a lie. And now I want to know why.”
There was a silence. Cassie could hear the waves below, like soft, rhythmic thunder. She could smell the clear, cold night air. And finally, as if compelled, she raised her eyes to his face. He was right; she couldn't lie to him. Even if he laughed at her, even if he pitied her, she had to give him the truth.
“Because I'm in love with you,” she said, simply and quietly. And then she wouldn't let herself look away.
He didn't laugh.
He was staring, though, as if in disbelief. Not understanding what he thought he'd heard her say.
“That day on the beach, I felt something special too,” she said. “But I felt-more. I felt as if we were… connected somehow. As if we were being pulled together. As if we belonged together.”
She could see the confusion in Adam's eyes-like the whirling, spinning confusion she'd felt when she'd discovered Kori's body.
“I know it sounds stupid,” she said. “I can't even believe I'm saying this to you-but you asked for the truth. Everything I felt that day on the beach was wrong, I know that now. You've got Diana. Nobody in their right mind would want anything more. But that day-I had all sorts of stupid ideas. I actually thought I could see something connecting us, like a silver cord. And I felt so close to you, as if we understood each other. As if we were born for each other, and there was no point resisting it…”
“Cassie,” he said. His eyes were black with emotion. A look of-what? Utter disbelief? Revulsion?
“I know it's not true now,” she said helplessly. “But then I didn't realize. And when you were standing so close to me, looking down at me, I thought you were going to-“
“Cassie.”
It was as if her words had conjured something magical out of the air, or as if her own perceptions had been sharpened. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw it again. The silver cord. It hummed and shimmered, more powerful and vibrant than ever, linking them. It was as if her heart was directly connected to his. Her breath was coming faster and faster, and she lifted her eyes to his face in bewilderment.
Their gaze held. And in that instant Cassie recognized the emotion that had darkened those blue-gray eyes before.
Not disbelief, but realization. A dawning understanding, and a wonder that made Cassie's knees feel weak.
He was… remembering, she thought. And seeing what had happened between them in a new light. Realizing on a conscious level just what he had actually felt that day.
She knew this as clearly as if he had told her in words. She knew him. She could feel every beat of his heart, she could sense the world through his eyes. She could even see herself as he saw her. A fragile, shy creature of half-hidden beauty, like a wildflower in the shadow of a tree, but with a core of shining steel. And just as she could see herself, she could feel his feelings about her…
Oh, what was happening ? The world had gone still, and it contained only the two of them. Adam's eyes were wide and dazed, the pupils enormous, and she felt she was falling into them as he looked down at her. A lock of his hair had fallen onto his forehead, that marvelous, tangled wavy hair that was all the colors of autumn in New England. He was like some woodland god who'd come out in the starlight to court a shy tree nymph, and he was irresistible.
“Adam,” she said. “We…”
But she never got to finish. He was too close to her now; she could feel his warmth, feel their electrical fields merging. She felt his hands cupping the backs of her elbows. Then slowly, slowly, she felt herself being drawn toward him until his arms were around her, embracing her fully. The silver cord could not be denied any longer.
Sixteen
Cassie should have pushed him away, should have run from him. Instead, with a gasp, she buried her head in his shoulder, in the comfort of his thick Irish sweater. She could feel his warmth all around her now, anchoring her, keeping her safe. Protecting her. He smelled so good-like autumn leaves and wood fires and ocean wind. Her heart was pounding.
It was then that Cassie knew what forbidden love meant. It meant this, wanting this much, and feeling this wonderful, and knowing it was wrong. She felt Adam pull away from her slightly. She looked up at him and knew that he was as overwhelmed as she was.
“We can't,” he said in a thick voice. “We can't …”
Gazing up at him, seeing only his eyes, the color of the ocean that night when it had whispered to her to drown in it, Cassie's lips moved to form a soundless “No.” That was when he kissed her.