The meal continued as it had begun. My novelty had apparently worn off.
When the meal was over, Jeb said I deserved a rest. He walked me all the way to my door, playing the gentleman again.
“Afternoon, Wanda,” he said, tipping his imaginary hat.
I took a deep breath for bravery. “Jeb, wait.”
“Yes?”
“Jeb…” I hesitated, trying to find a polite way to put it. “I… well, maybe it’s stupid of me, but I sort of thought we were friends.”
I scrutinized his face, looking for any change that might indicate that he was about to lie to me. He only looked kind, but what did I know of a liar’s tells?
“Of course we are, Wanda.”
“Then why are you trying to get me killed?”
His furry brows pulled together in surprise. “Now, why would you think that, honey?”
I listed my evidence. “You didn’t take the gun today. And yesterday you left me alone.”
Jeb grinned. “I thought you hated that gun.”
I waited for an answer.
“Wanda, if I wanted you dead, you wouldn’t have lasted that first day.”
“I know,” I muttered, starting to feel embarrassed without understanding why. “That’s why it’s all so confusing.”
Jeb laughed cheerfully. “No, I don’t want you dead! That’s the whole point, kid. I’ve been getting them all used to seeing you around, getting them to accept the situation without realizing it. It’s like boiling a frog.”
My forehead creased at the eccentric comparison.
Jeb explained. “If you throw a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will hop right out. But if you put that frog in a pot of tepid water and slowly warm it, the frog doesn’t figure out what’s going on until it’s too late. Boiled frog. It’s just a matter of working by slow degrees.”
I thought about that for a second—remembered how the humans had ignored me at lunch today. Jeb had gotten them used to me. The realization made me feel strangely hopeful. Hope was a silly thing in my situation, but it seeped into me anyway, coloring my perceptions more brightly than before.
“Jeb?”
“Yeah?”
“Am I the frog or the water?”
He laughed. “I’ll leave that one for you to puzzle over. Self-examination is good for the soul.” He laughed again, louder this time, as he turned to leave. “No pun intended.”
“Wait—can I ask one more?”
“Sure. I’d say it’s your turn anyway, after all I’ve asked you.”
“Why are you my friend, Jeb?”
He pursed his lips for a second, considering his answer.
“You know I’m a curious man,” he began, and I nodded. “Well, I get to watch your souls a lot, but I never get to talk with ’em. I’ve had so many questions just piling up higher and higher.… Plus, I’ve always thought that if a person wants to, he can get along with just about anybody. I like putting my theories to the test. And see, here you are, one of the nicest gals I ever met. It’s real interesting to have a soul as a friend, and it makes me feel super special that I’ve managed it.”
He winked at me, bowed from the waist, and walked away.
Just because I now understood Jeb’s plan, it didn’t make things easier when he escalated it.
He never took the gun anywhere anymore. I didn’t know where it was, but I was grateful that Jamie wasn’t sleeping with it, at least. It made me a little nervous to have Jamie with me unprotected, but I decided he was actually in less danger without the gun. No one would feel the need to hurt him when he wasn’t a threat. Besides, no one came looking for me anymore.
Jeb started sending me on little errands. Run back to the kitchen for another roll, he was still hungry. Go fetch a bucket of water, this corner of the field was dry. Pull Jamie out of his class, Jeb needed to speak with him. Were the spinach sprouts up yet? Go and check. Did I remember my way through the south caves? Jeb had a message for Doc.
Every time I had to carry out one of these simple directives, I was in a sweaty haze of fear. I concentrated on being invisible and walked as quickly as I could without running through the big rooms and the dark corridors. I tended to hug the walls and keep my eyes down. Occasionally, I would stop conversation the way I used to, but mostly I was ignored. The only time I felt in immediate danger of death was when I interrupted Sharon’s class to get Jamie. The look Sharon gave me seemed designed to be followed by hostile action. But she let Jamie go with a nod after I choked out my whispered request, and when we were alone, he held my shaking hand and told me Sharon looked the same way at anyone who interrupted her class.
The very worst was the time I had to find Doc, because Ian insisted on showing me the way. I could have refused, I suppose, but Jeb didn’t have a problem with the arrangement, and that meant Jeb trusted Ian not to kill me. I was far from comfortable with testing that theory, but it seemed the test was inevitable. If Jeb was wrong to trust Ian, then Ian would find his opportunity soon enough. So I went with Ian through the long black southern tunnel as if it were a trial by fire.
I lived through the first half. Doc got his message. He seemed unsurprised to see Ian tagging along beside me. Perhaps it was my imagination, but I thought they exchanged a significant glance. I half expected them to strap me to one of Doc’s gurneys at that point. These rooms continued to make me feel nauseated.
But Doc just thanked me and sent me on my way as if he were busy. I couldn’t really tell what he was doing—he had several books open and stacks and stacks of papers that seemed to contain nothing but sketches.