“Doesn’t matter. If she’s already making you crazy, you’re screwed. Would you be willing to do anything just to see her again?” Simon questioned mildly.
“A million bucks,” Grady admitted. “I offered to donate a million dollars to her charity to spend Christmas with her.”
Simon whistled. “You got it bad. You hate Christmas.”
“I know,” Grady answered wretchedly. “But she wouldn’t fuck me, so I was desperate.”
“Trust me, the fucking just makes it even worse. Then you’ll want her all the time, every minute of the day.” Simon hesitated before asking, “Is she worth it?”
Grady thought about that for a minute, remembering Emily’s vulnerable expression and how happy he had felt just looking at her and feeling her body pressed against him. “I think so. I mean, I just met her, so I guess it’s hard to tell. She seems to take away the loneliness and she made me smile. She’s”—he paused for a moment before finishing—“different. Not like any woman I’ve ever met. She wanted a donation for her organization, but she didn’t seem interested in anything for herself. She refused to fuck me for money. And I was actually happy about that. Why the hell would I be happy? I wanted her horizontal.”
“Maybe because you want her to like you?” Simon mused.
“Nobody likes me except you,” Grady answered harshly.
“Who says I like you? You can be a real asshole sometimes,” Simon answered, amused.
“And you aren’t?” Grady shot back automatically, used to sparring with Simon.
“I say if she can put up with your ornery ass, just marry her. It took me thirty-three years to find a woman who could tolerate me,” Simon replied happily.
“I’m only thirty-one. And I think your marriage is a little more than that,” Grady said, swinging his feet off the desk and swiveling around uncomfortably in his chair. He’d never talked to Simon about Kara much because he’d never understood his friend’s obsession with her.
“Yep. She loves me, and I’m a lucky bastard,” Simon answered, his tone cocky.
Grady hesitated for a moment before asking reluctantly, “Does it ever go away? You know, the possessive, crazy feeling you get when you first meet a woman who makes you feel that way.”
“No,” Simon answered seriously. “It doesn’t. It gets worse the closer you get to her. But it’s worth it if she cares about you in the same way. You’ll never feel lonely again, buddy.”
Grady contemplated Simon’s words for a while, wondering exactly what that would feel like. He was close to his sister and brothers, but they all had their own lives, and were rarely together. What would it be like to truly feel like he wasn’t alone, to really feel like he was connected to someone who made him feel complete? He’d actually never thought about it before, had never been exactly unhappy with his life, but he’d always known that there was something missing. There was a gaping hole somewhere inside him that not even his computers or his siblings could fill, and meeting Emily had somehow made that emptiness seem suddenly pretty damn painful.
“Tell me what it was like with Kara,” Grady asked Simon quietly, wanting to hear about what Simon had gone through before he’d finally found happiness. He and Simon were friends, but they usually discussed computers. Grady had reached billionaire status by developing several wildly successful businesses online and then selling them off, and their conversation almost always revolved around work.
Maybe that’s because that’s all I do.
But his mind wasn’t on work, and he wanted to talk about Simon’s life, and the wife who had changed his friend so profoundly.
Surprisingly, Simon began to talk, and he didn’t stop for over an hour, barely taking a breath, launching into one story after another. Once started, Simon couldn’t seem to stop talking about Kara and his new baby girl.
By the time Grady hung up, he wasn’t sure if he should be terrified or relieved. Being alone seemed so much easier and so much less complicated than tying himself up in knots over a female like Simon had done.
Then again, I’m not happy like Simon either.
Glancing up at the clock, he realized how much time had passed since Emily had left. Getting up, he looked outside. The nor’easter had definitely arrived in full force. The wind was howling and the snow was whirling around badly enough to be blinding.
She didn’t call me.
Visions of Emily hurt or stranded somewhere started racing through his mind, one horrible scenario after the other.
Panicked, he picked up his cell phone and programmed in the number he’d gotten from her earlier. He then put the phone back in his pocket and paced the office like a caged lion, checking outside about every ten seconds.
She’ll call. She probably just got busy.
“Fuck it!” Grady whispered harshly to himself after he’d waited longer than he could handle, pulling the phone from his pocket and punching her number.
He’d managed to wait exactly two minutes from the time he’d hung up with Simon before calling Emily to make sure she was safely home.
“Hello,” Emily answered, sounding breathless.
Grady’s worry turned to relief. “You didn’t call me,” he grumbled irritably. “You were supposed to let me know you were home safe.”
“I just got home. I had to run errands,” Emily told him matter-of-factly. “I’m sorry. Were you worried?”
He should say no. He could tell her that he just got a free minute, so that’s why he was calling now. He should be nonchalant, not let her know he was actually having visions of her bloodied and stranded somewhere. There were many excuses he could have given for jumping the gun on the phone call, but he simply answered, “Yeah. A little. It’s been a while since you left.” For some reason, he didn’t want to lie to Emily.
“I’m home now.” The sound of a slamming door confirmed her statement. “Thank you for caring that I got home safe. It’s very thoughtful.”
He should tell her that he wasn’t thoughtful at all. He was a self-centered bastard who couldn’t stand the thought of her hurting or stranded somewhere because he selfishly wanted her. But he didn’t tell her that. He liked that aching sweetness of her comment too much. Simon was right. Grady did want Emily to like him. “What did you get?” he asked curiously, hearing the sound of rustling bags in the background while she was silent.