Leah dabbed, blotted and glossed my lips until she was satisfied, and then put all of her tools away in her little clutch bag that she’d stowed just inside the door we were about to walk out of. The wedding was not on the beach, but it was as close as we could get without having to make all our guests sink in the sand with their nice shoes on. The hotel had a beautiful garden patio with an almost surround view of the ocean. At the very edge was a grassy area where we’d set up chairs and a gorgeous flower covered altar. Nothing else was needed. The view took care of the rest.
Everyone else was either seated or being seated. It was just Leah, Ella, Maddie and me. We all grasped hands and tried not to cry.
“I love you guys,” I said.
“We love you, too, babe,” Ella said. “Thank you for loving Logan, and for bringing him back to us. You’ve completed him, and I’ve never seen him so full of life.”
I pulled her into my arms and we hugged. I was so grateful Logan had friends that had cared for him through everything. Even in his darkest points when he pushed everyone away, Colin and Ella had stayed.
I kneeled down to my beautiful daughter who was just as excited as me, but when she jumped up and down, it was cute. Kids got off so easy.
“Are you excited baby?” I asked, and she gave me a huge nod, over exaggerating every movement.
“After you’re married, can I call Logan my Daddy? Do you think Daddy would be mad?”
The tears I’d been trying to hold back let loose down my cheek and I pulled her into my arms.
“No, baby. I think Daddy would love that. Logan too. No one said you couldn’t have two daddies, right?”
She pulled back and nodded, “Right. I can’t wait to tell him!”
I turned to Leah who was holding back tears. She was my rock. She’d been with my almost every day of my life, for as long as I could remember. She’d been my protector, the sister I never had, and the shoulder I needed when everything fell apart.
“I wouldn’t be here without you. You know that, right?” I said.
“You would have found your way eventually. I just gave you the push you needed to get you here quicker. The love you and Logan share isn’t a coincidence. I’m convinced you would have found each other over and over until you realized you were destined for each other.”
Squeezing her hand, I asked, “And what about you? You don’t need to put your life on hold for me anymore. Start living again, Leah.”
She gave a faint smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “I will, Clare-bear. I am. Don’t worry about me today.”
After one last hug, the coordinator the hotel provided came by and gave us the go-ahead.
It was time.
Maddie went first, holding her little basket of flowers. She was very serious about her flower girl duties and held off on dropping any petals until the right time.
Ella went next, clutching her small bouquet of island flowers in her hand.
Before Leah was given her go-ahead, she turned around, gave me a quick wink and a kiss on the cheek, and she was gone.
“Didn’t think you were going to walk down that aisle without your old man, did you?” my father said, coming to stand beside me at just the right time.
“I knew you’d make it,” I said, giving him a sideways grin.
“I knew you three needed some girly time, so I hung back in the hallway. But now you’re all mine. I love you, baby girl.”
My lip quivered and every minute spent with my father in my childhood came roaring back. The skinned knees when he was teaching me to ride my bike, the yelling matches and frustration when I got behind the wheel for the first time, and that moment when he caught Ethan and I in the kitchen and realized I wasn’t his little girl anymore.
“I love you too, Daddy.”
He held out his arm and I took it and we were on our way, down the path toward Logan and my future.
~Logan~
“Breathe, just breathe,” I silently chanted, as I caught my first glimpse of Clare walking down the path with her father.
She was a vision. Covered in lace that fit her like a glove, her dress blended old with new seamlessly. She had left her hair down and under the sun, it shimmered with the fiery red glow I loved. There was too much of her to take in at once, and my eyes were everywhere, trying to drink in every detail. I wanted to remember everything, sear it into my memory so I’d never forget the emotions that were welling up inside me.
“Marry Me” by Train was being strummed softly by a lone guitarist as she came towards me. Our eyes locked and everyone disappeared. I barely noticed when her father placed her hand in mine, still unable to believe this was my life. This woman was here. To marry me.
I heard a soft chuckle and I looked up briefly to see Tom shaking his head and taking his seat beside his wife.
The minister cleared his throat and Clare and I finally tore our eyes apart and turned our attention to him.
“I think we should begin, don’t you?” he asked, and Clare and I both looked at each other and nodded. Apparently the world disappearing around us hadn’t gone unnoticed.
“I do. I absolutely do,” I said.
“I haven’t gotten to that part yet,” he laughed.
“Well, then hurry up,” I joked, which earned a few laughs from the guests.
The minister welcomed everyone and began with a reading. It was a quote or a passage about love. I honestly didn’t listen. It was something Clare and I had picked out and I remember it being beautiful. But seriously, how could I focus on anything when Clare was standing in front of me?
I did hear him say vows, and that’s when I started to pay attention.
“Clare and Logan have chosen to recite their own vows, and will do so now.” He turned to Clare and gave her the go ahead. She nodded, turned back to me and gave me that shy smile I’d fallen in love with.
“You once said you didn’t think you were capable of love—that somehow that ability was lost on you. You were so afraid to let us in, scared that you wouldn’t be able to give back what we could so freely offer. But I’ve never known anyone more capable of love than you Logan. It shines through in everything you do, and there is no one on this earth I would rather be binding myself to than you.”
I didn’t deserve her. Standing there, hearing her speak, I knew she was so much more than I deserved and exactly what I needed. She completed me in every way.
She took a deep breath and continued, “I promise to love you a little bit more each and every day. I promise to hold your hand, even when we’re old and frail. I vow that no matter what life hands us, I will stand by your side, ready and willing to face the challenges that lie ahead. I will always try to make you laugh and promise to share my dessert with you—maybe.” Her lip curved into a small smile, and she laughed which only made her more beautiful.