He was a little miracle.
I finished cleaning the kitchen and ran upstairs to make myself presentable. Then, the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of our first party guest.
“We’ll get it!” Garrett yelled from the hallway.
I exhaled in relief. I was nowhere near ready, and I was pretty sure I still had flour in my fingernails.
The doorbell chimed several more times as I ran around, putting on a flattering pair of jeans and a gauzy top. I finished the look off with some jewelry and wedged sandals, and then I flew down the stairs.
Everyone was gathered around Garrett and Asher. Our little boy was dressed in adorable jeans and a cute little vest. He’d grown so much since the day I held him in my arms for the first time. I remembered holding his tiny foot in my hand as he’d stared up at me.
“Our little guy needs a name,” Garrett said softly.
I rocked our son back and forth and smiled up at Garrett from the chair.
“Asher,” I answered, rising carefully from the rocker as I held our little bundle.
I gently handed him to Garrett and couldn’t help the giggle that escaped as I watched him tense. Asher was so small. His tiny head looked like a doll in comparison to Garrett’s massive frame.
“Asher,” he repeated, as he took him in his arms. “I like that.”
“It means “happy and blessed.”
Our birthday boy was passed around the room from laps to waiting arms. Clare cooed and made him laugh as she covered up her eyes in a game of peekaboo. I saw her look up at Logan with a knowing smile.
Perhaps Maddie and Ollie would be getting a new sibling soon?
Leah and Declan played blocks with Asher on the floor, and they laughed as he knocked down their carefully built towers each time. It was one of his favorite games.
My father rocked Asher back and forth when he got sleepy and put him down for a nap with the help of Garrett’s mother.
“Where’s Liv?” I asked suddenly, realizing we weren’t yet complete.
“Oh, she just called. She said a new neighbor was moving in next door and blocking her driveway with the moving van. She should be here any minute.”
Oh boy, a new neighbor? That could be interesting.
She showed up not more than five minutes later, carrying a tray of veggies and hummus. She told me the heroic tale of how she’d managed to get her car out of her driveway despite the rude new neighbor she had.
Lunch was ready. Everyone grabbed plates and served themselves from the kitchen. Nothing was ever fancy at our house, especially now that we were parents. I was proud of myself for managing to go to the store to pick up prepared chicken salad and for showering all in one day.
My once stark and empty house was now filled with color, warmth, and family. Every wall showed a glimpse from our past that had brought us to this moment. As we sat Asher in his high chair and watched him demolish his birthday cake, I couldn’t help but feel a little overwhelmed.
“Hey, you okay?” Garrett asked, pulling me against his chest.
I snapped another picture of Asher and finally turned to Garrett. “We did this,” I said.
His eyes softened, and he smiled. “Yeah, we did.”
He bent down and placed a tender kiss on my eager lips, and I melted into his touch.
I’d walked away from love and felt my heart shatter. I’d spent eight years bottling up the pain and heartache from those emotional events. I thought I was in control, but when you are running from your life, you’re never the one in control.
I never understood why I ended up driving back down that familiar highway, to the one place I swore I’d never return. Seeing Garrett standing on that street corner had been like a long overdue jolt to my heart. An awakening I so desperately needed. He saved me. He saved me by loving me and showing me that it was okay to once again love myself.
Love is many things. It’s every raw human emotion all rolled up into one messy four letter word. There’s no rule book and definitely no guarantees. But as I stood there in Garrett’s arms, with our friends and family in a house we made a home, I knew that no matter what life threw at us, we’d always get by with just a little bit of love, hope and happiness.