Silence.
Even Staffan was distracted, and unable to help it, he said, “What the fu---” At his mother’s narrow-eyed warning, he corrected himself immediately. “I mean, what the heck are you saying?”
“Well, it’s the combination of both our names---”
“I don’t fuh-uh-reaking like it.” Staffan glared at her.
Edana giggled. “It rhymes with Daffy Duck, though.” Her giggles turned into laughter. “Staffan’s baby will be named after Daffy!” Her parents and Cairo joined in.
Saffi glanced at Staffan with an innocent look. “You don’t like it?”
“He-eck no,” Staffan growled.
“Then how about…Stapphire?”
His younger siblings were doubled over with laughter. “Ah, yes,” Conrad murmured, straight-faced. “Your first name is Sapphire, isn’t it? Stapphire has a ring to it.”
Seeing that everyone was ganging up on him, he smiled at Saffi and said in a velvety voice, “I have a suggestion, too, koukla mou. How about we call our baby H because---”
“---ah, on second thought, my suggestions sucked,” Saffi said quickly, red-faced at Staffan’s threat to share anything about her other persona.
It was Staffan’s turn to look all innocent. “But baby, I think it’s great. We can combine Stapphire with H because---”
“Because?” Elvira asked eagerly.
“Because H…is…umm…my favorite letter since most of my favorite fish start with the letter ‘H’,” Saffi blurted out.
Everyone was staring at her now.
“Fish?” Edana finally repeated blankly.
Ignoring the way Staffan’s shoulders were rocking with silent laughter, she said weakly, “Yes, fish. I study fish in my university so…umm…I have a lot of favorite fish.” Before anyone else could say anything, she looked at the turkey before her. “Umm, I’m hungry. How about we eat dinner now?”
****
Staffan was still grinning as he led the way to his old bedroom. Throughout the entire Thanksgiving dinner, which Elvira had insisted on celebrating in advance while they were all together, Staffan had constantly tried bringing up stories about H, which Saffi had desperately counteracted with stories about her fish. At the end of the day, she had a feeling that the Aehrenthal family was thinking they had welcomed an eccentric fish-obsessed member into their circle.
“It’s not funny,” she grumbled to him as he opened the door. Walking past Staffan, she only managed three steps before freezing and then completely melting into a puddle of fangirl goo.
This was Staffan’s bedroom when he was young, and it seemed that Elvira hadn’t changed a bit of it. She half-ran to the shelves, running her hands on the spines of Staffan’s books, which were a mixture of music and business. His desk was extremely neat, with framed photos of his family lined up. His walls had framed limited-edition posters of his favorite musicians, a number of them legends in the Swedish music scene.
Staffan’s chest clenched as he watched Saffi run around the room like a kid that had been let loose in a toy shop. She looked so innocent, so f**king innocent that he just wanted to goddamn bury his head in the sand and pretend that the world outside never existed. It would be so f**king easy, so f**king better to pretend that Saffi was the same girl he had fallen in love with.
She was smiling and sighing at the same time, letting her fingers drift over every surface. And then she was throwing the doors of his closet wide open---
“Wait, dammit---” But it was too late.
“Oh. My. God.” She slowly took the costumed outfit out. “So it’s true,” Saffi breathed.
“No, it’s f**king not.”
“I thought it was just some kind of hoax, I mean, you know, like you’ve been Photoshopped – but it’s true!” Saffi started to laugh as she held up the coat hanger holding a plastic-wrapped three-piece Elvis Presley outfit, with an elaborate wig tied to it. “You really did impersonate him when you were in college!”
He grabbed the outfit from Saffi and shoved it back inside the closet before slamming the doors closed. “If you ever breathe one word to anyone about this---” When he turned around to scowl at Saffi, she was already half naked, her dress lying in a pool of velvet around her feet.
His mouth went dry.
Hands now shaking, she unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor. “Staffan,” she said softly.
“What?”
“I meant what I said. I want you in my bed every night.”
His jaw hardened at her words, and she could see his inner struggle reflected in his eyes.
Swallowing, she raised her arms as if to welcome him. “Staffan, please? I want you so much now.” When he still didn’t respond, Saffi let her hands drift over her br**sts. Closing her eyes, she whispered, “Please, Staffan. I need you to touch me. I need to feel your body against me. I need you to rip my panties---”
It was the trigger she was looking for, and he was on her in an instant. Staffan ripped her panties off the same time he swept her into his arms. His lips took hers as he gently lowered her to the bed. Saffi’s eyes pricked with tears she quickly blinked away, everything in her crying out her love for Staffan. Even now – even though she knew he still doubted their baby was his, he was careful not to hurt her or the baby.
She helped him take off his own clothes even as their lips moved hungrily against each other, neither of them willing to break their kiss. When he was naked, Staffan’s lean hard form settled over hers like a second layer of skin that was all heat, passion, and magic – oh dear God, it was magic. His kiss, his touch, his possession – Saffi couldn’t help whispering, “I love you.”
Staffan froze over her, his head lifting up, breaking the kiss.
The memories – those hurtful, deceitful, misunderstood memories were returning to Staffan and she saw how the betrayal and fury made his hazel eyes burn. It hurt her, only because she knew how much Staffan was hurting. He loved her – Staffan had loved her with all his heart, and the world made it seem as if she didn’t love him back.
She cupped his face. “I love you, Staffan.” Her voice was fierce. “You’re the only man I’ve ever loved and will ever love---”
“Liar,” he gritted out.
He started to pull away, but she was prepared for it. Her arms went around him, holding him to her tightly.
“Let go,” Staffan snarled under his breath, the feel of Saffi’s soft na**d body tempting him to forget. But he was f**king done forgetting. He had played the role of a happy lover and it just f**king hurt to remember that it wasn’t true.