“He cheated on his fiancée. He ruined his own life.”
“But there’s more to it than that, and you know it.”
“You still don’t owe him shit. You were sick. You weren’t responsible for what you were doing.”
I took that in. I had been sick. I hadn’t been in control of my actions. I knew this. I’d accepted this in therapy.
But that didn’t change anything. “It doesn’t matter. Even if I don’t owe him, he has this over my head. He could say that I set up the meeting simply to get to him. I mean, I didn’t, but it could look that way.” I chuckled harshly. “Even you thought that I did. And then he was there again that night at the Botanic Gardens. It looks like I could have been following him. Who’s going to believe me over him?”
I’d been avoiding his eyes, but I met them now. “If I violate that order again, I could see jail time.” Not to mention what could happen to Hudson in the media. He’d be the joke of the town.
“Alayna.” He closed the short distance between us in two quick steps and wrapped his arms around me.
I hadn’t realized how close my tears were to the surface until I was safe and in his arms. I cried softly into his shoulder, not only because of what I’d done or because of the pressure I’d been under keeping it in, but because he was holding me. They were tears of relief.
Hudson pulled me in even tighter. “Why didn’t you come to me? I would never let anything bad happen to you. Never. You have to know that, don’t you?”
I turned my face so my words wouldn’t get lost in the material of his suit jacket. “I got scared. Of what he could do to me. Of what he could do to you.” The long strokes he ran along my back made it easy to keep talking, easy to confess. “And I wanted you to be proud of me. Of the deal I made.”
He pushed me away suddenly and gripped my upper arms. Bending to catch my gaze, he said, “I’m always proud of you, Alayna. Always.”
It broke me. Again.
I clutched on to his shirt inside his open jacket. “I should have told you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do and I wanted to tell you. Please, don’t be mad at me.”
Softly, he shushed me. “Don’t. Don’t cry, precious.” He held me as I cried. When I was calmer, he said, “I’m only mad because you put yourself in danger. You scared me. You can’t imagine what I felt when the background report came across my desk and I realized the situation. Don’t you know I couldn’t stand it if anything bad happened to you?” His voice cracked.
“Yes, I know.” It was exactly how I’d feel if something happened to him.
“And I’m mad because you didn’t come to me.”
“I wanted to. I did. But Ce—” I almost mentioned Celia, stopping myself right before I did. I didn’t think it was a good time to add that secret to the mix. “But I didn’t want you to have to get in the middle of my mess.”
I pulled away, looking aimlessly for a tissue.
Hudson pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. Who the hell carried handkerchiefs? There was still so much to learn about this man.
“Don’t be silly,” he said, dabbing at my eyes. “First of all, I own The Sky Launch so I’m legally responsible for anything that goes on in regards to employees and the people they interact with.”
I hadn’t thought of that.
He ran his thumb gently down the side of my face. “But more importantly, if you’re in a mess of any sort, then so am I. Not legally. But because you’re mine. And I’m yours. And that means I’m tied to you in every way. Good and bad. If you can’t see that, then we have no chance.”
Oh, god. The enormity of it hit me. I’d put all we had in jeopardy, put us at risk. “I really f**ked everything up.” I felt the color leave my face. “Oh, god, Hudson.”
He tilted my chin up with one finger and kissed my nose. “You didn’t f**k everything up. I can fix it. Now that I know.”
“What will you do?” I had a brief flash of men in trench coats meeting up with Paul in a dark alley. Sad that the thought brought a smile to my face.
“I wouldn’t do anything illegal, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
Damn, he could read me so well.
“I’ll offer Party Planners Plus a deal with Fierce in exchange for terminating the contract with The Sky Launch. Fierce is a bigger name and can offer a better payout. They’ll still be working with the Pierce name. Kresh will have nothing to complain about.”
“Good plan. Thank you.” If I’d only come to Hudson in the first place, he would have arranged a deal like this and I wouldn’t have put anyone—myself—in a precarious position. My stomach churned with self-loathing. “I’m sorry, Hudson. I’m sorry you have to clean up my mess. I’m such an idiot.”
“Shush up.” His arms were around me again, holding me, comforting me when it was the last thing I deserved. “Stop feeling guilty. It’s our mess, remember? And I want to clean it up. It’s one of the things I’m capable of. Let me.”
“All right.” I took a deep breath, letting all my worry and regret out as I exhaled. “All right, I’ll let you.”
Chapter Sixteen
Hudson pocketed his damp handkerchief, and I could feel his disposition change, could feel him moving away. “Now, Alayna. What else do you need to tell me?”
“What—what do you mean?” I was still recovering from the last horrific confession. What other information did I need to disclose? At this point, I was ready to spill everything.
Hudson took his jacket off, folding it and setting it on the back of the sofa. “When we started this conversation, you thought I was talking about something else. Someone else.” His eyes pierced me. “Who did you think I was talking about?”
Honesty. I owed him honesty. “I thought you were talking about David.”
“David Lindt?”
“Yes.”
He backed up until he was leaning against the wall. I hated that he needed the support. “You told me there was nothing between you and David.”
“There’s not. Anymore.”
“But there was.”
“Yes.”
I could see the pain across his face. It killed me. It was exactly how I’d feel if I found out there had been something with him and Celia. I wanted to go to him, to hold him like he’d held me, to make it better.