“Ho, ho, hoooo!” I belted out, stopping her. “Wait, what did you just say?”
Polly took a deep breath. “Which part? Or do you want me to start all over again?”
“God, no. I don’t think my brain could take that a second time.” I pinched the bridge of my nose because I had a massive headache threatening to break loose courtesy of all the yammering and revelations that were being thrown at me. “Polly? Did you say Noah told you I used to be a man and had a sex change?”
“Yeah, but he also said he was joking,” she said with a shrug and then her eyes got wide as saucers. “He was joking, right? You didn’t really have a schlong, did you?”
“Yes!” I screeched.
“Yes, you had a schlong?” she asked with an expression of shock—and, possibly, even a wee bit of curiosity—on her face.
“No, Polly. Yes, he was joking,” I clarified. Noah Crawford had it coming big-time.
Vengeance would be mine.
“Good. I mean that’s … good,” she said with a sigh of relief. And then she propped her elbow up on the table with her chin in her hand. “Lanie, honey, why did you do it? Why did you sell yourself for sex?”
“It’s personal, Polly. And I don’t want you to go snooping around to find out. If you do, I swear I’ll kick your scrawny little ass,” I warned. She crossed her heart in a silent promise not to. “Besides, Noah doesn’t even know.”
“Yeah, and I’m sure he hasn’t pressed the issue with you, either, especially since that would mean he’d then have to tell you about Julie. The cow,” she murmured.
“Wait, that’s the second time you’ve said her name. What’s the deal with this chick? Is she an ex-girlfriend or something?” If anyone was going to spill the beans, it would be Polly. She had probably told me more than she was supposed to in the first place.
“I swear if he ever finds out about this, he’s going to fire me for real, and probably Mason, too. You know, the whole guilt-by-association thing. And then we’ll be homeless with nowhere to go, no money to shop with—”
“Tragic,” I muttered sarcastically.
“I know, right?” she said as if it really was. “Okay, look; I’ll tell you, but only after you tell me what the real deal is between you and Noah.”
I thought about the dream, but that was all it had been. Right? Noah could never feel that way about me, no matter how good I was at deep-throating his colossal cock. “The real deal is that it’s a business transaction, Polly. Nothing more,” I said matter-of-factly.
“I’m not buying it, Lanie. You can lie to Noah, or even to yourself for that matter, but I don’t believe it,” she said, calling me out. “I heard you. Before I woke you up. You were talking in your sleep, and from the sounds of it, you’ve got it bad for the boss man, sister.”
“Goddamnit, Polly! Is there ever a time when you’re not being nosy?” I asked, offended by the invasion of privacy.
“Hey! Don’t you use the Lord’s name in vain with me!” she chastised me, her finger wagging.
I put my elbows on the table and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “I’m sorry, Polly. Look, this isn’t exactly an ideal situation for me. I’m falling for the man who paid enough money to feed a starving village for longer than I have any knowledge of, just so he can get in my pants anytime he wants with no strings attached. And try as I might to hate him, I can’t! What’s wrong with me? It’s not Stockholm syndrome, because I haven’t exactly been kidnapped and I’m not being kept here against my will. I signed on for this, but it’s getting to be too real. You know?”
Polly nodded with a sincere look on her face as I continued to ramble on. “And with all the stuff I have going on back home, all I can do is throw up my hands and say, ‘Jesus, please take the wheel’—which isn’t going to do me a whole hell of a lot of good, because the life I’m living isn’t exactly saintly—but I have no clue what I’m doing here. And I seem to be digging myself in further and further. I mean, I know I’m just a whore to him, and that he could never feel anything for me that’s even remotely close to the mad crush I have on him, but … ugh!”
I took a deep breath. My face was flaming hot and I thought I might start crying at any moment. No way was I going to do that because it would make me look weak and even more vulnerable. But I was thankful that I could get at least some of it off my chest before a complete and total mental breakdown crept up on me. Because I was seriously close to that happening.
Polly seemed to really get me, though, and contrary to her usual manner, she simply listened and let me vent without trying to force me to go into any more detail. There were no words to describe my gratitude.
She stretched an arm across the counter and took my hand in hers with a comforting smile. “You’re carrying a pretty big burden, huh?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Polly and I both started laughing at the same time. Not a full-on belly laugh, one of those laughs where we both recognized how ridiculous my statement sounded after the huge load I had just dumped.
“Don’t worry, sweetie. You’re going to get through this. And you never know what might happen. I mean, Noah isn’t incapable of having feelings. At least, I don’t think he is. I’m sure that nasty little debacle with Julie was only a minor setback and not something that will leave him emotionally scarred for the rest of his life.”