Maybe she’ll talk to Chloe.
Zane stared down at her profile as they walked, noting that she looked exhausted. As they arrived at his vehicle, he felt guilty for not taking the bags she held. In his thirst for blood flowing from the reporter who had accosted Ellie, he hadn’t noticed them. Not that it looked like she bought much. She only had two small bags.
“I’ll take those. Jump in.” He took her packages and opened the door for her before he went to the cargo area and stored her stuff.
Sliding into the driver’s seat, he closed the door and started the car so it would warm up.
Ellie was trying to brush the snow out of her hair with her cold fingers.
“I hope you bought some more winter stuff,” he grumbled as he pulled away from the curb, not even bothering to look behind him. Zane had faith that his brothers would handle the reporter situation.
“I have some winter things in my belongings. I just haven’t sorted everything out yet,” she said hesitantly, obviously still emotional. “I have the stuff you got me, but I didn’t think I’d be outside for long.” She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for the emotional scene.”
“Those people scared you?” Zane asked, his fingers tightening around the steering wheel, pissed off at anybody who caused Ellie to get upset.
“Not scared really,” Ellie said with a sigh. “I just don’t really want to reveal my humiliation to the entire world. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to do that.”
Ellie felt shame, and that nearly pushed Zane over the edge. “It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault.”
“But that doesn’t make it less humiliating,” Ellie countered.
As he turned a corner to head back toward his house, he mumbled a curse before answering. James had been a psychopath, and he still remembered her briefly telling him how he’d made her beg for food and water. “Don’t even feel ashamed,” he said gruffly. “James was the sociopath and you were his victim. It takes a lot of courage to survive what you did, Ell.”
“I let him toy with me. I let him mess with my head,” Ellie answered sadly. “I knew what he was doing, and I gave him exactly what he wanted.”
“What choice did you have?” Zane snapped back at her.
She didn’t answer, and the long, drawn-out silence made him realize she’d had no choice. All of her freedom, respect, and dignity had been sucked out of her by a crazy asshole who liked to torment women.
He was relieved when she finally answered quietly, “None. Not a single choice. It was either die or stay alive. The survivor in me refused to give up.”
“Thank fuck,” Zane said huskily. “I would have been pretty irritated if I had shown up at the cabin and you were already dead.”
Ellie laughed, a sound that hit Zane solidly right in the chest. He hadn’t heard Ellie laugh in a long time. If his black sense of humor made her smile, he’d gladly stop trying to be politically correct.
“I’m glad I didn’t disappoint you,” Ellie shot back with a snort.
Zane smiled just a little as they entered Colter land and he moved toward his home. “I’m sorry I let a reporter have the opportunity to talk to you. I’m supposed to be keeping you safe.”
“You do. And it wasn’t your fault,” Ellie argued. “Zane, you can’t protect me from the world forever, no matter how much I appreciate that you try.”
“The hell I can’t,” he shot back at her. He’d slipped up, let his brothers disrupt his visual on where she was. From now on, she’d stay safe.
“I fear it, too,” Ellie said softly.
“What?” Zane questioned, wanting to know whatever the hell she feared so he could make it go away.
Silence stretched on as Zane drove across Colter property, the darkness of the night preventing him from seeing Ellie’s expression.
Finally, he urged, “Talk to me, Ellie. What are you afraid of?”
“I’m afraid it will happen again,” she admitted in a rush. “I know the chances of being kidnapped again, especially since James is dead, are almost nonexistent. Rationally, I understand that. But I can’t stop the anxiety I feel when someone approaches me, even in a non-threatening way. If it’s somebody I don’t recognize as a friend, I have a knee-jerk reaction to run. Until recently, I seemed to have the same reaction even if it was a friend—just not as strong as when it’s a stranger.” She took a deep, tremulous breath and continued. “I know it doesn’t make any sense. I knew that guy was a reporter. But when he got in my face and wanted me to talk about my experience, it was like it was going to happen all over again.”
Zane’s frustration with the reporter returned. “He was a pushy asshole, Ell. And you have every right to be cautious. Hell, I think you’re incredibly brave just to go out of the house again.”
“I want to. I can’t live in fear, Zane,” Ellie insisted. “I want to feel normal again. This is my town. This is where I grew up. Nothing traumatic has ever happened to me here before…” Her voice trailed off, sounding like she was afraid to mention the only devastating event she’d ever experienced in Rocky Springs.
Zane reached out in the dark, searching for contact with Ellie, hating the fact that she was essentially suffering alone. He didn’t know the first thing about how to deal with her fear…or his own agitation about her safety.
Their hands connected, and his heart sank as she flinched away from him for an instant, but then she reached out and curled her fingers around his trustingly. Zane felt an aching tenderness in his chest as Ellie tightened her grip, letting him know without words that she trusted him, that her initial reaction was just a momentary, instinctive thing.