“Does Dad know?” Andrew interrupts, his tone clear. It’s a threat, not an actual question.
“Not yet.”
“He’s going to explode.”
“That’s his problem.”
“Jesus, Dec, you’re serious?” Andrew’s voice actually cracks.
“Yes.” Declan kisses me between his replies. “You win, Andrew.”
“I win what?”
“You’re CEO of Anterdec. You win.”
Andrew looks wildly at the three of us, eyes bouncing from Amanda to me to Declan. “But you’re winning!”
“I found a way we both win.”
“How am I winning if I lose two of my best employees?”
“And I beat you in the gift department.”
Amanda looks at me and whispers, “He totally did.”
“You want your own company now?” Andrew asks Amanda.
“I want Shannon’s job at Anterdec,” she says smoothly, tucking herself under his arm. “How about that? Imagine working together every day. I could even attend private meetings in your office.”
“There might be a silver lining here,” he mutters.
“But not your office closet,” she clarifies.
Just as I’m about to say more, I hear my name shouted from near the main doors.
We turn and look to find a burst of familiar faces.
“Look at the fountains outside, Auntie Shannon! Did you see them!” Jeffrey’s so excited he’s jumping up and down like a human jackhammer. Tyler’s face is buried in a 3DS we gave him for Christmas, his go-to when he’s overstimulated and there’s just too much going on. I grab him and force him to hug me, getting a smile and a “Level 38! Achievement Unlocked!” shout in response.
“What are you doing here?” I gasp, glancing at Declan, who flashes his eyes at me and gives Carol a conspirator’s grin as she joins us, enveloping me in a big-sister hug that I really, really need right now.
“Ask him,” she says, pointing to Declan. “He arranged for all of us to come to the wedding.”
My heart buries itself in my knees.
“What? The wedding?” I look at Declan, helpless and hopeless. How can I possibly explain?
“We already got married,” he says bluntly. “Just now.”
Well, he took care of that awkward moment, didn’t he?
“I know,” she says kindly, rubbing my shoulder with a familiarity that should make me relax but instead, makes me cry. “As long as the Elvis impersonator who married you two didn’t try to get you to give him a blow job for fifty bucks in the back room, you had a better wedding than I did.”
“How did you spend your fifty bucks?” Josh asks Carol, appearing behind her, carrying a small plastic case that holds a large martini glass on its side. It looks like a pet carrier, but that’s not right, is it?
“What’s that?” I peer in through the cage door and get a Hiss of the Damned from its inhabitant. It’s the sound of all the forces of evil being called forth for the ultimate challenge, to destroy and reign over us mere mortals.
I think there’s a meow for dinner in there, too.
Josh sets the case down, opens the door, and extracts a very pissed-off Chuckles from the pet carrier. He’s wearing a Cone of Shame and has the look of a beast who is determined to pee in every single slot machine if it’s the last thing on earth he manages.
“Chuckles! What happened?” I gasp. As if Chuckles would answer. That’s impossible, of course.
Because he’s clearly giving me the silent treatment.
“After that whole fiasco with falling in the pool and getting caught in the leashes and Chuckles’ flower girl outfit,” Josh explains, his voice going low and confused, eyes searching for my mother, “he needed minor surgery. The cone is so he doesn’t lick his, you know...”
“So he doesn’t lick his tethticleth, Auntie Shannon,” Jeffrey adds. “You should never, ever lick tethticleth.”
Josh turns a bright shade of pink and cocks one eyebrow at that statement. I give him a look that says, Not the time for witty banter.
“Right,” Josh says, simultaneously answering both me and Jeffrey.
I give Jeffrey the hairy eyeball. “Your lisp isn’t that pronounced any more.”
He grins. “I know. It’s just that testicles sounds even funnier when you say it with a lisp.”
As Jeffrey walks away, Josh leans in and says, “Your nephew scares me a little. What ten year old is that self-aware?”
“Declan says he’s going to either become the highest-paid hedge fund manager in the world or the head of Anonymous.”
“That kid might damn well manage both,” Josh mutters.
I’m surrounded by everyone now, Josh explaining that Greg didn’t join them, as he’s holding down the fort back home, Jeffrey and Tyler begging Carol for ice cream, and out of the corner of my eye I see Declan talking to Terry, who must have arrived with this fresh wave of East-Coasters.
Guilt infuses me.
My wedding party, family and friends followed me here.
And I got married without them.
Mom appears, beaming from ear to ear. “I arranged to get them all out here for your wedding.” She winks, the gesture big and fake. “I knew you wanted privacy, so I told James that your father and I were going to renew our vows.”
“You didn’t?”
She shakes her head. “Jason stayed here while I went and got Carol and the boys and Josh. Terry asked to join us. Hamish has some endorsement opportunity in New York for that company, you know...”