Yet how could she have stayed when she’d known he hadn’t loved her? Their relationship had never been about emotional depth. Not on his part, anyway.
Oh, she’d had no doubt he would have married her once he’d known she was pregnant. But she hadn’t wanted that. Not after her father’s drunken rage that night telling her to go, when she’d decided then and there that she’d rather her child not have a father at all, than one who hadn’t loved its mother. She just hadn’t been able to bear the thought of Damien treating her with disdain in front of their child in the years to come. She’d been that child with her own parents, and it wasn’t a nice feeling.
No, it had been better to cut the ties back then. And from that point on she’d decided she had to stand guard and protect herself from hurt. Love brought too much pain, and she’d wanted nothing more to do with letting anyone so deeply into her heart. And she hadn’t.
Until today.
Until Damien had stepped back into her life.
All at once she realized Damien’s eyes were upon her. “Everything okay?” he asked, watching her with a light in his eyes that went beyond the sexual, as if he were trying to decipher her thoughts. It made her uncomfortable.
She nodded and turned away, looking out the small window at the blue sky surrounding them, then down at the unimaginable vastness below. They’d left the red dust of the Outback behind some time ago, and now she could see greenery beneath them, growing increasingly greener with each mile, and the closer they got to the coast.
Then time passed and not far in the distance, she could just catch sight of the ocean at the “Top End” of Australia. She sat there for ages absorbing it all, letting it wash over her. This was where she’d been born… where she’d grown up…been happy and sad…passionate and heartbroken.
“You’re home,” Damien said as the plane swept around over the ocean then banked toward the runway. Beneath them the city of Darwin glistened in the hot tropical sun.
A lump swelled in her throat and she had to blink rapidly. Damien was right, no matter how much she’d denied it to herself all these years. This was home. And home was where her heart was.
It always had been.
Two
O nce Damien’s plane landed they stepped straight through the invisible sheet of humidity and into a waiting BMW, before speeding through the Darwin suburbs toward the private hospital.
Gabrielle tried to hold her apprehension and worry at bay, but all she could think about now was her father. All these years she’d believed she’d prepared herself for news like this, but now she knew that wasn’t possible. The emotional distance she’d worked so hard to maintain was going down the drain. No matter what had gone on between them, he was still her father and she loved him despite everything, and the thought of him dead brought a lump to her throat.
As for her mother, she was still amazed Caroline Kane had returned home to be a wife again. Her mother had been a well-paid doormat to her rich husband, but infidelity was the one thing she hadn’t been able to accept. Caroline had been distraught when she’d left the house for good after discovering that Russell had been having an affair with his secretary. She was too upset even to take her teenage daughter with her, even though Gabrielle had begged her.
Repeatedly.
God, did she really have the courage to face them both again? She knew so little about them now. They were her flesh and blood, yet they’d hurt her a great deal. How was she to treat them? Like parents? Like strangers?
Dear God, did any of that matter right now anyway? she wondered as she rode the elevator in silence, her senses conscious of Damien’s strong presence, the scent of aftershave a vivid reminder of being in his arms all those years ago.
But once they stepped out of the elevator and into the corridor on her father’s floor, she shook off her reaction to Damien’s closeness when an attractive woman stepped out of the room ahead of them. As if in slow motion, Gabrielle watched the woman turn toward them. And shock ran through her.
“Mum?” she murmured.
The woman froze. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened, only nothing came out.
Gabrielle stared back. Gone was the pretty but drab woman who’d always worn sedate clothes and her brunette hair in a bun. In her place stood a vibrant fifty-year-old woman with a stylishly cut blond bob and clothes to match.
Suddenly Caroline rushed forward. “Gabrielle!” she cried, and wrapped her arms around her daughter tightly.
Gabrielle couldn’t breathe. She stood stiffly. One part of her wanted to sink into the embrace and acknowledge she’d missed this feeling of belonging that went bone deep. This was her mother after all. The woman who’d given birth to her.
It was also the woman who’d left her teenage daughter to cope alone with an increasingly volatile father, she reminded herself.
Caroline pulled back, tears in her eyes. “Oh, my goodness. I can’t believe it’s you, darling.” She blinked rapidly, not seeming to notice Gabrielle’s lack of response. “Let me look at you. You’re beautiful.” Caroline glanced at Damien with a watery look in her eyes. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she, Damien?”
Gabrielle forced herself to glance at Damien, seeing a hard but admiring look in his eyes before he gave her mother a slight smile.
“Yes, she is, Caroline. Very beautiful.”
Despite the moment, his comment sent a tingle through her that she didn’t appreciate. She’d always known he’d found her attractive. He’d totally swept her off her feet five years ago, but hearing him say it now after so long away from him made her cheeks grow warm.
“Oh, wait until your father knows you’re here,” Caroline said excitedly. “It’ll be the best medicine.”
At the mention of her father, anguish came rushing back. “How is he, Mum? What did the doctors say?”
Caroline squeezed her arm. “Darling, he’s doing better than expected.”
“Thank God.”
“Yes, thank God,” Caroline said in a shaky voice. Then she reached up to Damien and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “And thank you for bringing my daughter home, Damien. I can’t tell you how much this means to me and Russell.”
“She was happy to come.” He turned toward Gabrielle with mocking eyes. “Weren’t you, Gabrielle?”
Gabrielle held his gaze, but her face felt tight. “Yes,” she lied.
For the first time her mother seemed to notice Gabrielle’s lack of warmth. The light in her eyes dimmed. “Darling, I know we have a lot to say to each other,” she said cautiously. “But perhaps that can wait until later? Let’s just get through this first.”
Gabrielle nodded, thankful for her mother’s suggestion. The past didn’t disappear just because her father was so ill, but neither was this the right time to air grievances.
Caroline put on a bright face. “Good. Now let’s go take a peek at your father,” she said, heading back to the room she’d just exited. “He’s not supposed to have any visitors except me, but I’m sure it’s okay for you to just see him for a moment.” At the door she stopped to look at Gabrielle. “Prepare yourself, darling. He’s not his best at the moment.”
Her mother was right, Gabrielle decided, standing beside her father’s hospital bed a little while later. Her eyes misted over as she looked down at his prone body, the white sheets and bandage around his head highlighting his ashen skin, his body thinner than she remembered.
Gently she reached out and touched his cheek. He moved his head slightly but didn’t waken, and she gave a soft cry. It was as if he knew she was there.
Just then the nurse came into the room, and in a compassionate tone advised that there should only be one visitor and perhaps Gabrielle and Damien could come back tomorrow.
Gabrielle nodded, then leaned over and kissed her father’s cheek, whispering, “I love you, Dad.”
Then she felt Damien’s hand on her arm and she looked up at him, surprised by the sympathy in his eyes. She let him lead her from the room, her mother behind them.
Outside, Caroline said regretfully, “Darling, I wish I could come home with you but I need to stay by your father’s side for a day or two, just until he’s out of danger.”
Gabrielle understood. “Mum, it’s okay. I can stay at the house by myself.”
Her mother’s eyes filled with worry. “But that’s the problem. They’d just started major renovations when this happened to your father, so I’ve let them continue while I’m sleeping here at the hospital. But a lot of strange men are working around the place and I don’t want you alone there.”
Gabrielle accepted that. She wasn’t sure she’d even wanted to stay at the house anyway. There were too many bad memories. “Then I’ll stay at a hotel.”
Her mother clicked her tongue. “Oh, but I don’t want you staying in some impersonal hotel room, either.”
“Mum, I have to stay somewhere,” she half joked, then felt a slither of apprehension when she saw Damien’s dark brows jerk together.
He turned to her mother. “Don’t worry, Caroline. Gabrielle can stay at my apartment. I’ll even rent her a car so she can get around town.”
Gabrielle stiffened. “No, that’s not necess—” she began until Damien shot her a dark look silencing her.
Her mother’s face had already filled with relief. “That’s wonderful, Damien. I’ll feel so much better knowing you’re close by.”
He nodded. “You just concentrate on helping Russell get better.”
“But—” Gabrielle began again, not wanting to stay within an inch of this man. They’d been lovers. She was still feeling the pull of his attraction. She couldn’t live with him, not even for a day.
“It’s no trouble, Gabrielle,” Damien said in a tone that brooked no objection.
Caroline gave her daughter a heartfelt hug goodbye. “Darling, let Damien take care of you for a while. Ohh, I’m so glad you’re here. And your father will be, too, once he wakes up.” Gabrielle wanted to say she didn’t need to be taken care of, but Caroline was already kissing Damien on the cheek again. “Look after my baby, Damien. She’s precious to me.”
“I will.”
Just then another nurse went inside the room, and it was obvious her mother was anxious to follow. Gabrielle knew there was nothing for it but to put her own worries aside. “Mum, go back to Dad. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Thanks, darling,” Caroline said warmly before she slipped back inside the room.
Then it was just her and Damien again.
Just as it would be at his apartment.
Sharp anxiety twisted inside her, making her testy. “You’ve got a nerve telling my mother I’ll be staying at your place. I’d prefer a hotel.”
Displeasure furrowed his brow as he took her arm and started toward the elevator. “You heard Caroline. She’s worried about you and wants to know you’re safe.”