Yet he couldn’t possibly have an affair with Dylan’s coguardian. Somewhere down the line it would all turn to custard, and Dylan would be the one to suffer.
He thought back to earlier in the afternoon when Jordan’s mother had mistaken them for a couple. And Dylan for his baby …
It didn’t mean a thing.
Because she’d also assumed Victoria was Dylan’s mother.
A glance in the rearview mirror showed Dylan snoozing in the backseat of the Maserati, his dark-gray eyes closed, his cheeks pink and his mouth open in an O.
Goldy-brown eyes. The woman was a kook.
Victoria bore no resemblance to Dylan at all. They weren’t even related. But they could be … if he married her.
Because then she’d be the wife of Dylan’s sperm-donor father.
He tightened his hands around the steering wheel. God, how had this gotten so complicated? It made his head go numb.
But not nearly as badly as the desire that made him crave to get Victoria into his bed, under his body—
“We should do it again sometime.”
“What?” His voice went rough with want. Could she have read his carnal thoughts?
“Visit the zoo again.”
Of course she couldn’t read his thoughts. He blew out in relief. “Yes, yes, we must.”
He could marry her—the crazy thought leapt back into his mind and just as quickly he banished it. He didn’t want to marry the woman. Hell, he hadn’t wanted to marry Dana, either. Victoria was just as career-minded—nothing like the kind of woman he wanted to live with for the rest of his life.
Except his libido refused to agree.
After putting the baby into his night suit on Sunday night, Victoria settled down to feed him his bottle in the spacious rocking chair that had been delivered to the nursery yesterday while they’d been out at the zoo.
Yesterday.
She glanced across to Connor where he sat perched on the love seat opposite her, riffling through a pile of picture books on the floor in front of him.
Yesterday she’d discovered a side to Connor that she’d never known existed. A warm, fun, funny side. But as soon as they’d gotten home Connor had disappeared, and today she’d barely seen him. She was starting to think he must be avoiding her.
Yet here he was acting as though everything was normal.
Victoria decided she’d never fathom the man out.
He seemed impervious to her disquiet as he picked up a picture book and held it up, saying, “This one, don’t you think, big guy?”
Dylan sucked more fiercely on the bottle.
“Good taste, son.”
Connor flipped open the first page. Despite his deep voice, he read with a soft, easy rhythm that was curiously soothing. By the time he’d reached the end of the board book, Dylan’s eyelids had fallen and Victoria was feeling easier … almost sleepy.
Setting the book on the pile beside the love seat, Connor stretched his arms above his head. “I’ve been thinking.”
The warm, fuzzy feeling receded. Victoria opened her eyes in time to see him rise to his feet. She regarded him warily as tension zapped through her. “About?”
He looked remote, powerful and somewhat alien, standing across from her with his hands on his hips. Was he about to tell her that he’d reconsidered their unconventional custody arrangement—that she should go home? Or was he going to demand she give up work to stay home with Dylan? She’d been dreading that.
She told herself Connor couldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to do.
But imperceptibly her muscles grew taut.
He hesitated only for an instant. “I think we should get married.”
“What?”
Dylan stirred in her arms and she rocked him hurriedly. “Where did that come from?” she whispered fiercely to Connor.
“It will make it much easier for Dylan,” he said in a low voice, crossing the space between them and staring down at the baby who slept so peacefully in the crook of her arm. “And do away with the constant need for explanations.”
“This is because of the woman at the zoo yesterday?”
He spread his hands out wide. “Her mistake was understandable and it’s going to happen more and more, particularly if we’re living together.”
Victoria couldn’t believe she hadn’t blurted out no to his proposal straight away. Until a few days ago there’d always been hostile tension between them. They’d never gotten along, and she’d spent two years actively avoiding him while Suzy and Michael were alive.
So why hadn’t she simply said no?
One word.
No … no … no!
Easy.
But she didn’t say it.
Because of Dylan.
She tilted her head back and studied Connor critically. He was tall. Strong. Deep in her belly, heat stirred. She suppressed it ruthlessly. She knew he was good at sport. He’d be able to pass those skills on to Dylan.
Dylan was the only reason she could ever marry Connor.…
A glance down at the baby revealed his smooth, round face, untroubled by the demons chasing her. If she married Connor then Dylan would have a family again. A mother and a father. A world away from merely living with his guardians.
How could she deprive him of that?
A real family.
But Victoria couldn’t lie to herself. There was another, much more selfish reason to marry Connor. If she did her place in Dylan’s life would be secure.
She would be able to relax, to stop worrying that he’d get rid of her as soon as Dylan settled down. As his wife, it would be a lot harder for Connor to evict her from Dylan’s life.
Uncannily, Connor echoed her thoughts: “If we were married we could provide a stable home for Dylan.”
A shivery awareness filled her. How far did he intend to take this idea of giving Dylan a stable home? She thought about the frank woman at the zoo. Don’t do what I did. Make sure you have another kid to keep yours company. Would Connor want to provide Dylan with siblings? Would he expect her to make love with him? Past experience had proved that he only had to touch her for desire to ignite into burning heat.
She turned her attention away from the baby and back to the man who’d taken over her thoughts, her life. “Connor—”
He held up a hand. “Wait. Before you reject the idea, you need to know that I’m committed to this. I won’t pull out in a year or two and want a divorce.”
She tried to read the expression in his eyes, but the night-light was too dim.
To put a little distance between them she rose to her feet and gently deposited the snoozing Dylan in his cot. Tugging at the cord that hung near the baby’s cot, she flooded the room with soft light and turned to face the man who had put her world into uproar.
“How can you possibly be so sure? You might fall in love and want a real marriage.” Would she be any good at marriage? Her parents had married because she was already on the way. Would marrying for Dylan’s sake be any different?
“I’m not looking for love.” He gave her a crooked smile. “Let’s just say that Dana forever killed any desire I had for a ‘real’ marriage.”
Sadness unexpectedly seeped through Victoria. No woman would be able to steal that cold, shriveled heart. He’d shut himself up behind high, impenetrable walls.
Deeply disappointed for some reason she couldn’t fathom, she found herself shaking her head. “I can’t marry you.”
He seemed to take root and a stillness overtook his large frame. “You don’t think it would be a good idea for Dylan?”
What was she supposed to say to that? Tell him about her own parents’ failures? And let him realize how poor a mother she might be? Definitely not! “Of course, Dylan would benefit.”
“So why not marry me?”
She shifted restlessly. She thought of her father … ever drifting, never home. Of her mother’s unhappiness. “There’s more to marriage than Dylan.”
His eyes gleamed. “Are you referring to sex?”
Her skin went all tight.
“You don’t want to have sex with me? Is that it?”
Oh, dear God. He’d misunderstood. But sex …
She couldn’t stop staring at him. At the depth of his chest. The large, capable hands. The hard mouth that could smile so gorgeously. Her skin grew tighter. “No … no, I don’t.”
He smiled. It wasn’t a very nice smile. “May I ask why not?”
Damn him.
She wriggled like a bug on a stick. “Because I don’t make love with every conceited, arrogant jerk who comes along.” He shook his head and laughed. “That puts me in my place.”
“And I don’t like you,” she said, seized by a burst of unreasonable anger, “and I’m quite sure you don’t like me much either.”
“Liking has nothing whatsoever to do with sex, Victoria.” He drawled her name out slowly, deliberately, making her feel utterly Victorian and positively puritanical.
At the pale-silver gleam in those dangerous eyes she grew itchy, but forced herself to sit unmoving. “I need to actually like a man to make love with him.”
“So naive. You can’t have liked a great many men then.”
The implication took her breath away. “I’m not a misanthrope—I’m discerning. And it’s only you I’ve never liked. I’ve made love to enough men to know that I don’t do casual encounters.”
She’d even dated a guy for two years before breaking it off when he’d asked her to marry him. She’d gotten scared. It would never have worked—not even if she’d been more confident—he’d been easygoing and fun loving. A tumbleweed. He’d constantly nagged her to relax, to slow down, unable to understand that she was driven for reasons of her own to make a success of her life. Whatever the cost.
At least that was one thing she had in common with Connor—he’d worked hard to get where he was. Even though he’d expected her to take extended leave at the drop of a hat.
Shadows flickered in the silvery depths. “There will be nothing casual about our encounter. I can promise you that.”
She shivered deep inside. “You make it sound dangerous.”
He stalked closer. “We’ve always struck sparks off each other, and this will be no different.” He stared into her eyes, searching for something she was equally determined never to concede. “It will blow your world apart.”
It was so tempting.…
“I know there’s no one out there waiting for you. Just say yes, Victoria.”
Too tempting.
And the emptiness would be forever filled by Connor … and Dylan. A family. A chance to have what Suzy had had.
What she’d never dared hope for.
Before she could think better of it, she leaned forward and placed her lips against his.
He froze.
She parted her lips. Lightly, delicately she traced her tongue tip over his mouth. His chest lifted against her, rising, pressing against br**sts that were suddenly tender.
She tasted him, sipped at him, until his breath escaped in short, jerky gasps. His arms came around her, engulfing her, holding her close. He was hard, all male. The snug fit of his jeans couldn’t hide the erection that had sprung to life, a rock-like ridge against her lower belly.
He cupped her bottom, pulled her up against him and took her mouth. It was her turn to shudder with desire. He thrust his tongue deep, and the act of possession sent a primitive thrill through her.
Stroking the inside of her mouth, his tongue searched out the smooth skin inside her cheeks, the highly sensitized roof-arch.
She groaned, a hoarse, wanting sound.
No longer aware of where they were—barely aware of how long it had been since the kiss began—she focused on the hunger that raged between them.
He moved closer, his leg pushing between hers, the harsh fabric of his jeans rough against her skin. But that was sexy, too.
Until Dylan mumbled in the cot behind her and she leapt away from Connor as if she’d been scalded.
Connor stood rigid. His eyes were wide and, for the first time since the night he’d come to tell her of Michael’s death, she recognized the emotion in his eyes.
Shock.
Her heart hammering, she balled her hands at her sides to stop them from reaching for him. “See what you made me do? That was monumentally stupid.”
He swallowed, and she fixed her gaze on his Adam’s apple, watched it bob up and down, avoiding his too-astute eyes. Hurriedly she added, “You irritated me.” And flicked her gaze up.
Then wished she hadn’t.
White-hot. That’s what his eyes were. Enough to incinerate her.
“I overreacted—and so did you.” Silence. “Don’t you agree?” More silence. “I don’t want to make love without it meaning anything,” she protested, more to convince herself than him, wishing she wasn’t having this wretched one-sided conversation with a man she simply didn’t understand.
“I’m not asking you to.” He sounded so reasonable. “I only asked you to marry me.”
Her heart sank. “So you’re proposing a marriage in name only? Absolutely no sex?” She risked a look at him. His expression was indecipherable.
“Do I understand you correctly?” He drew a deep, audible breath. “If we take sex out of the equation you’d marry me?”
“Maybe …” It was a croak of sound. But her body was urging more, more, more.
“This is no time for maybe, Victoria. Yes or no?”
They weren’t touching. Yet over the gap that separated them she could feel the heat of his body, the force of his power.
Victoria started to tremble. She was ready to say anything to stop the sizzle.
“Yes,” she sighed.
Chapter Nine
Connor discovered over the next few days that getting married solely for Dylan’s sake wasn’t what he wanted. He wasn’t that noble. He wanted more.