Argh! This was so complicated. I hated it.
Asher stepped into the room after knocking. He smiled at me and I immediately felt better, different. I had three days to decide, and if I couldn't figure anything out by then I'd find a way to delay. What if I wanted to think about it more? No one could deny me that, since this was kind of a big thing. At least I doubted Asher would be upset with me, though who knew about Beatrice. I didn't really care about her thoughts, anyways.
"Hey," Asher said. He sat on the chair next to the cushioned table. "Everything alright?"
"Yes. I think so," I said.
"Everything is looking fine," the doctor confirmed. "I see no reason why this shouldn't succeed. Ms. Fevrier is young and presumably fertile, so there won't be any issues there. Obviously the testing, and I have to talk with her doctor, but other than that... you haven't been pregnant before, correct?"
She'd asked me this earlier, but I assumed the repeat question was for Asher's benefit. "No." I shook my head.
"For surrogacy, it's typically better to do this with a woman who's proven fertile in the past, but for non-donor IVF it's obviously for women who are regularly infertile. For your situation, the latter is more applicable. I wanted to clarify that quickly in case you've read anything before this."
Asher nodded, deep in thought. "Alright. Yes. I was... well, I've been a little worried. I may or may not have spent a few business hours looking up details."
The doctor laughed. "Of course. I understand. Well, here are the consent forms. You don't have to sign them immediately. I'll leave you two to discuss things. Just hit this button when you're ready to continue and I'll be right back." She pointed to a red button under an intercom grill. "I'm going to go do some paperwork in the mean time."
She handed us the papers, gave me a reassuring smile, and left us in the room alone, closing the door behind her.
"So," I said.
"So," Asher agreed.
"She can start in three days, she thinks. She has to talk with my OB/GYN."
Asher's eyes widened. He looked so excited and I didn't know how to tell him that maybe I didn't want to start in three days. Maybe I needed more time, because...
"It's up to you," he said. "I know three days is soon. I won't rush you."
"I know," I said. "I'm just..."
I was so nervous. Not just because of the doctor or anything else. Everything, all combined, and then this, and that, and I needed something, some assurance that I was doing the right thing, except who could I ask? Everyone around me was biased, and my mother had seemed somewhat indifferent. Not entirely indifferent, but she seemed excited, too. Daytime television probably made the idea seem extravagant and luxurious to her, and it did have some of that appeal to me, but the actuality of it was scary. Shots and being pregnant, pain, and it wasn't even my child, and...
"Why three days?" he asked. I think he sensed my anxiety.
I held the pamphlet out for him, opening it to the page with the chart. "So I'm on birth control right now, but my period will be in a few days. Too much information, maybe? Sorry. But when that starts, I'd take these shots for, um, ten days? It shows right there, those marks." I pointed it out for him.
"Alright, so then..." He scanned through the chart along with me. "So two weeks for egg retrieval and a few days after that for egg transplant. And another egg transplant? Um, how many children are we having here?" He laughed.
We, he said. We. I stared at him, charmed, wrapped up in his excitement for children. I'd always thought about it, myself. I liked the idea of it. Having children, a nice home, a loving husband. A family. This wasn't really that, not quite, but the children part kept invading my fantasies. It was a part of it, and I wanted Asher to be a part of it, too. When he included me into his dreams, I felt a rush of giddy glee.
"Well," I said. "It depends on how many stick. I think they put a few in just in case, but probably only one or two are going to mature."
"So, twins maybe," he said. "A boy and a girl?"
"That would be nice. They wouldn't really be twins, though. Kind of, but not the same as natural twins. I don't really know how that works."
"I guess we'll find out if it happens." Asher grinned, then continued scanning through the pamphlet. "Is this... what do they do?" he asked. "I mean, I know what they do, but how does this work? Is there any danger? Risks? Is it... I don't want to ask you to do anything that's dangerous, Jessika. I know that couples do this often when infertility is an issue, but that isn't the kind of situation we're in. It's unfair to ask you to do anything too risky."
I smiled at him and put my hand on his arm. "No, no. It's... well, she said it's painful, but besides that I think it's safe. It's not a simple procedure, but they're experienced, and..."
My face burned red and I couldn't believe I was about to do what I was about to do. I'd thought of it, considered doing something like this, but it was more a fantasy than anything else. Or was it? No, I...
I shifted on the doctor's table and shimmied my skirt up until it was at the tops of my thighs by my waist. "They insert a needle in here," I said, patting the crotch of my pink panties. "There's a suction device on the other end and they just suck as many eggs up as possible. There's more to it than that, but that's the general idea."
Asher looked at me hard, his face turning white. He gulped. "Jessika, that's... um..."
I smiled at him, serene, acting as if nothing was wrong. I stayed the way I was, keeping myself revealed to him. "I imagine it's easier on your end. Sperm's easier to get ahold of."
He laughed a little, lightening up. "Yes, I imagine so. Did I hear right before? You're on birth control?"
I nodded. "Better safe than sorry, right? I guess it worked out for this, too, so that's good."
He moved closer to me, putting a hand on my thigh. "I was worried before. I kind of, when we, um. You know? After the photography? I know the odds are low, but I was worried maybe you'd get pregnant from that. I don't know what I would've told Beatrice then. I'm still a little worried."
"You don't have to be," I said. I reached for his cheek and rested my hand on his face, touching him. He felt so warm and soft, with a hint of stubble. I caressed his cheek and looked into his eyes. "I promise, it's fine. I understand. I can't get pregnant right now, so there's no need to worry."
"I know," he said, leaning towards me. "You're so beautiful. Beatrice would never wear underwear like that. That's the wrong thing to say, isn't it? I don't know why I'm saying it."
"It's alright," I said. I felt so strange right now, as if I were someone else entirely. Was I really doing this? "I wore them for you."
That did it. I don't know what I expected, but Asher satisfied every possible positive outcome I ever could have dreamed of. He swooped in and kissed me, his mouth hard on mine. Fast and urgent, he put one arm behind my back and held me up while his chest and lips and face tried to push me backwards. I returned the kiss, needy and wanting. I grabbed at his dress shirt and pulled him towards me, for all the good it did; Asher was already pressed tight against me with no space between us.
"I'd like to go over the procedure," he said, pausing our kiss and whispering into my lips.
"Are you my doctor?" I asked with a slight smirk.
"It's always good to get a second opinion."
He kissed me again, his mouth opening and his tongue joining mine. I closed my eyes and languished in it, in his aggression and passion. Guided by pure impulse, I spread my legs when he squeezed my thigh with his free hand. My lips adored him, couldn't get enough of him, and I felt like it was impossible to do anything but kiss and touch and tease him. He kept me on the brink of passion, teasing me by pulling away. Just a slight bit, but enough that I came forward and inched my way back towards him. When I was sitting straight up he made his move.
His hand between my thighs crept closer and closer to the center of my being. Caught off guard and heady with lust, I never noticed it until he made it quite a bit more known. His fingers curled underneath the frill and lace of my pink chiffon panties and tugged them away from my arousal-slick sex. Teasing my slit, running a finger up and down and between my lower lips, he pushed me over the edge. I went willingly, ecstatically, gyrating my h*ps on the table and scooting towards the literal edge of it.
"This is for—" he said in between frantic kisses, "—medical purposes, of course."
"Yes," I said, more of an exhaled breath than a word. "Yes, I know." The door was closed, we were in the room alone, and we had nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about for now, at least; consequences always came after the fact.
I grabbed at his belt and scrambled to unbuckle it. While I did, Asher pushed one finger inside me, teasing at my inner walls. He curled his finger, gently pulling, pressing against me. I scrambled all the faster, finally getting his belt undone. Without a moment of hesitation, I unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down. Hidden behind his boxers, his c*ck sprang to attention, the head just barely jutting out from the slit in the front of his tented underwear.
"Please," I said, practically begging. "I need your second opinion."
"Shh," he said. "I'm the one in charge here. I'll tell you what you need."
He moved away from me and pressed a finger against my lips, the same finger that was just inside me. Acting on instinct, desperately wanting him, I licked his finger and tasted myself on him. It was sweet and sticky and a little strange but I liked it.
I think it surprised him to see me like that, so debauched and sexual. It surprised me, too.
Asher grabbed his c*ck and weaved it through the slit in the front of his boxers. So hard and hot and sexy, I wanted him so badly. I watched him, stared at his erection, seeing what he might do. Waddling towards the edge of the table, pants around his ankles, he pulled my thighs further apart and held them against his hips. His c*ck bounced up, the side touching against the front fabric of my panties, the head pointing towards my navel.
He held my leg in one of his hands while his other hand pulled aside my undergarment. With my glistening slit revealed, he needed no further invitation. He looked at me with lust-filled eyes and nodded. The idea, the situation, my head filled with scenes of provocative allure. And then we made a scene of our own, something real instead of fantasy.
With dainty fingers, I guided his c*ck to the entrance of my slit. Asher was much less dainty in his actions and he pushed into me. I gasped, shocked and delighted at his body's sexual demands. He thrust into me, a quick pound, and then pulled nearly all the way out. I wanted more, him inside me always, and I pulled at his hips, pleading with him with my eyes.
He gave me everything, all of him. This time slower, tantalizing. He eased his c*ck inside of me half of the way and then thrust in harshly the other half. I gasped again and grabbed his sides, trying to hold him inside me. My p**sy clenched against him, squeezing, hoping to keep him there forever.
"This," he said, his voice rugged, "is a simpler procedure, and far less painful. In fact, most patients find it quite enjoyable."