“Start here.” I offered him my lips and he took them, sealing his mouth softly over mine. His tongue traced the seam, then dipped inside me, licking and teasing.
I burrowed into his body, moaning when he shifted to lie half over me. My hands slid up and down his back, my leg lifting to hook over his hip. I caught his lower lip between my teeth and stroked the curve with the tip of my tongue.
His groan was so erotic it made me wet.
My back arched as his hand crept beneath the hem of my T-shirt and captured my bare breast, rolling my nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
“You’re so soft,” he murmured. He kissed his way to my temple, and then buried his face in my hair. “I love touching you.”
“You’re perfect.” I pushed beneath his waistband to grip his bare buttocks. The scent and heat of his skin intoxicated me, made me feel drunk with lust and longing. “A dream.”
“You’re my dream. Christ, you’re so beautiful.” His mouth covered mine and I fisted a hand in his hair, clutching him to me with my arms and legs wrapped around him.
My world narrowed to just him. The feel of him. The sounds he made.
“I love how much you want me,” he said hoarsely. “I couldn’t stand being in this alone.”
“I’m with you, baby,” I promised, my mouth moving feverishly beneath his. “I am so with you.”
Gideon possessed me with one hand at my nape and the other at my waist. Settling over me, he aligned his hardness to my softness, his c*ck to my sex, and rolled his hips. I gasped, my nails digging into the rock-hard cheeks of his ass.
“Yes,” I moaned shamelessly. “You feel so good.”
“It’d feel better inside you,” he purred.
I bit his earlobe. “Are you trying to talk me into going all the way?”
“We don’t have to go anywhere, angel.” He sucked gently on my throat, making my sex clench hungrily. “I can put it in right here. I promise I’ll make you feel good.”
“I don’t know. I’ve changed my ways. I’m not that kind of girl anymore.”
His hand at my waist pushed my pants down. I gave a token wiggle and make a soft sound of protest. My skin tingled where he’d touched me, my body awakening to his demands.
“Shh.” Brushing his mouth over mine, he whispered, “If you don’t like it once it’s in you, I promise I’ll pull out.”
“Has that line ever worked for anyone?”
“I’m not feeding you lines. I mean every word.”
I gripped the steely curves of his butt and rocked up against him, knowing damn well he didn’t need any lines. A crook of his finger was all it would take for him to get laid by anyone he wanted.
Thankfully, he only wanted me.
Reveling in his playfulness, I teased, “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
“What other girls?”
“You’ve got a rep, you know.”
“But you’re the one wearing my ring.” As he lifted his head, his fingertips brushed the hair from my temple. “Day One of my life was the day I met you.”
The words hit me like a blow. I swallowed hard and whispered, “Okay, that’s a winner. You can put it in.”
The shadows left his face, chased away by his smile. “God, I’m crazy about you.”
I smiled back. “I know.”
6
I WOKE IN a cold sweat, my heart pounding violently. I lay in the master bed, panting, my mind clawing up from the depths of sleep.
“Get off me!”
Gideon. My God.
“Don’t f**king touch me!”
Throwing off the covers, I scrambled out of bed and ran down the hallway to the guest room. I searched frantically for the switch on the wall, hitting it with the flat of my palm. Light exploded in the room, exposing Gideon writhing on the bed, his legs twisted in the bedding.
“Don’t. Ah, Christ …” His back arched up from the bed, his hands fisting in the fitted sheet. “It hurts!”
“Gideon!”
He jerked violently. I raced to the bedside, my heart twisting to see him flushed and drenched with sweat. I placed my hand on his chest.
“Don’t f**king touch me!” he hissed, seizing my wrist and squeezing it so hard I cried out in pain. His eyes were open, but unfocused, still trapped in his nightmare.
“Gideon!” I struggled to get away.
He jackknifed upward, his lungs heaving and his eyes wild. “Eva.”
Releasing me as if I had burned him, he shoved his damp hair out of his face and lunged out of bed. “Jesus. Eva … did I hurt you?”
I held my wrist with my other hand and shook my head.
“I want to see,” he said hoarsely, reaching for me with trembling hands.
I dropped my arms and stepped into him, hugging him as tightly as I could, my cheek pressed to his sweat-slick chest.
“Angel.” He clung to me, shaking. “I’m sorry.”
“Shh, baby. It’s okay.”
“Let me hold you,” he whispered, sinking to the floor with me. “Don’t let go.”
“Never,” I promised, my lips whispering over his skin. “Never.”
I ran a bath and climbed into the triangular corner tub with him. Sitting behind him on the highest step, I washed his hair and ran soapy hands over his chest and back, washing the icy sweat of the nightmare away. The heat of the water stopped his quivering, but nothing so simple could remove the dark desolation in his eyes.
“Have you ever talked to anyone about your nightmares?” I asked, squeezing warm water out of the sponge onto his shoulder.
He shook his head.
“It’s time,” I said softly. “And I’m your girl.”
He took a long time to speak. “Eva, when you have nightmares … are they more like re-creations of actual events? Or does your mind switch them around? Change them?”
“They’re mostly memories. True to life. Are yours not?”
“Sometimes. Sometimes they’re different. Make-believe.”
I absorbed that a minute, wishing I had the training and knowledge to be truly helpful. Instead, I could only love him and listen. I hoped that was enough, because his nightmares were ripping me apart as surely as they were him. “Are they changed in a good way? Or bad?”
“I fight back,” he said softly.
“And he still hurts you?”
“Yes, he still wins, but at least I hold him off as long as I can.”
I dipped the sponge again, squeezing water over him, trying to maintain a soothing rhythm. “You shouldn’t judge yourself. You were only a child.”
“So were you.”
My eyes closed tightly against the knowledge that Gideon had seen the photos and videos Nathan had taken of me. “Nathan was a sadist. It’s natural to struggle against physical pain, so I did. That’s not bravery.”
“I wish it had hurt me more,” he bit out. “I hate that he made me enjoy it.”
“You didn’t enjoy it. You felt pleasure and that’s not the same thing. Gideon, our bodies react to things by instinct, even when we don’t consciously want them to.” I hugged him from behind, resting my chin on the top of his head. “He was your therapist’s assistant, someone you’re supposed to be able to trust. He had the training to f**k with your head.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Then make me understand.”
“He … seduced me. And I let him. He couldn’t make me want it, but he made sure I didn’t resist.”
Moving, I pressed my cheek to his temple. “Are you worried you’re bisexual? It won’t freak me out if you are.”
“No.” He turned his head and brushed his mouth across mine, his hands lifting out of the water to link our fingers together. “I’ve never been attracted to men. But the fact that you’d accept me if I were … Right now I love you so much it hurts.”
“Baby.” I kissed him sweetly, our lips parting and clinging. “I just want you to be happy. Preferably with me. And I really want you to stop hurting yourself over what was done to you. You were raped. You were a victim and now you’re a survivor. There’s no shame in that.”
He turned and pulled me deeper into the water.
I settled beside him, my hand on his thigh. “Can we talk about something? Sexual?”
“Always.”
“You told me once that you don’t do anal play.” I felt him tense. “But you’ve … we’ve …”
“I’ve had my fingers and tongue inside you,” he finished, studying me. He’d altered with the change of subject, his hesitation replaced by calm authority. “You enjoy it.”
“Do you?” I asked, before I lost the courage.
He breathed heavily, his cheekbones burnished by the heated water, his face exposed by his slicked-back hair.
After long moments, I feared he wasn’t going to answer me. “I’d like to give you that, Gideon, if you want it.”
His eyes closed. “Angel.”
I reached a hand between his legs, cupping his heavy sac. My middle finger extended beneath him, brushing lightly over the puckered opening. He jerked violently, his legs slamming shut, sending water sloshing to the lip of the tub. His c*ck hardened like stone against my forearm.
I pulled my trapped hand free and gripped his erection in my fist, stroking, my mouth taking his when he groaned. “I’ll do anything for you. There are no limits in our bed. No memories. Just us. You and me. And love. I love you so much.”
His tongue thrust into my mouth, a greedy and slightly angry foray. His hand at my waist tightened, his other hand covering mine and urging me to tighten my grip.
Gentle waves lapped against the sides of the bathtub as I pumped his erection. His moan tightened my n**ples.
“I own your pleasure,” I whispered into his mouth. “I’ll take it if you won’t give it to me.”
He growled, his head falling back. “Make me come.”
“Any way you want,” I vowed.
“WEAR the blue tie. The one that matches your eyes.” I had a direct view into the walk-in closet, where Gideon was picking out the suit he’d wear to wrap up the week.
He glanced over to where I sat on the edge of the bed in the master bedroom, a cup of coffee in my hands. His mouth curved in an indulgent smile.
“I love your eyes,” I told him with an easy shrug. “They’re gorgeous.”
He unhooked the tie from the rack and stepped back into the bedroom with a graphite gray suit draped over his forearm. He wore only black boxer briefs, affording me the joy of admiring his leanly ripped body and taut golden skin.
“It’s uncanny how often we think alike,” he said. “I picked out this suit because the color reminds me of your eyes.”
That made me smile. I swung my legs, too full of love and happiness to sit still.
Laying his clothes on the bed, Gideon came to me. I tilted my head back to look up at him, my heart beating strong and sure.
He cupped the sides of my head, his thumbs brushing over my eyebrows. “Such a beautiful stormy gray. And so very expressive.”
“A totally unfair advantage for you. You read me like a book, while you’ve got the best poker face I’ve ever seen.”
Bending over, he kissed my forehead. “And yet I can never get away with anything with you.”
“So you say.” I watched him start to dress. “Listen, I want you to do something for me.”
“Anything.”
“If you need a date and it can’t be me, take Ireland.”
He paused in the act of buttoning up his shirt. “She’s seventeen, Eva.”
“So? Your sister is a beautiful, classy young woman who adores you. She’d do you proud.”
Sighing, he grabbed his slacks. “I can’t imagine her being anything but bored at the few events appropriate for her to attend.”
“You said she’d be bored having dinner at my place and you were wrong about that.”
“You were there,” he argued, yanking up his pants. “She had fun with you.”
I took a drink of my coffee. “You said anything,” I reminded.
“I don’t have a problem going dateless, Eva. And I told you I won’t be seeing Corinne anymore.”
I stared at him over the rim of my mug and didn’t say anything.
Gideon shoved his shirttails into his slacks with obvious frustration. “Fine.”
“Thank you.”
“You could refrain from grinning like the Cheshire cat,” he muttered.
“I could.”
He stilled, his narrowed eyes sliding down my body to where my robe had fallen away from my bare legs.
“Don’t get any ideas, ace. I already put out this morning.”
“Do you have a passport?” he asked.
I frowned. “Yes. Why?”
Nodding briskly, he reached for the tie I loved. “You’ll need it.”
Excitement tingled through me. “For what?”
“For travel.”
“Duh.” I slid off the bed onto my feet. “Travel to where?”
His eyes held a wicked gleam as he swiftly and expertly knotted his tie. “Somewhere.”
“Are you shipping me off to parts unknown?”
“Wouldn’t I love to,” he murmured. “You and me on a deserted tropical island where you’d be perpetually nak*d and I could slide into you at any moment.”
I set one hand on my hip and shot him a look. “Sunburned and bowlegged. Sexy.”
He laughed and my toes flexed into the carpet.
“I want to see you tonight,” he said, as he shrugged into his vest.
“You just want to put it in me again.”
“Well, you did tell me not to stop. Repeatedly.”
Snorting, I put my coffee down on the nightstand and shrugged out of my robe. Naked, I crossed the room, skirting him when he made a grab for me. I was opening a drawer to choose one of the lovely Carine Gilson bra and panty sets he kept stocked for me, when he came up behind me, slid his arms beneath mine, and cupped my br**sts in both hands.