But every so often the little voice in my head spoke up, reminding me of Jake. And I felt bad, guilty, torn…disloyal.
Jake is important to me, but he’s not my boyfriend. We don’t have that kind of relationship. That he loves me is his responsibility, not mine; he knows that and so do I. I’m still abiding by the original rules of engagement for our relationship. No strings attached. I don’t want to intentionally hurt Jake; I do care for him. But I do get to live my own life.
Chase is important, or I’d like Chase to be important, but in a different way. I could have a relationship with Chase. All possibilities are on the table right now with Chase, including being his submissive.
I thought about that as I added more hot water to the bath. What would it be like, having Chase as my Dom? Would we have scenes at the club? Or his house? Both?
I shook my head. This is how you get in trouble with men, Abby. Back off.
Eventually the water got cold and I drained the bath. I wrapped up in a big terry bathroom and slouched around the apartment, thinking vaguely about dinner. Chase had fed me lunch before I left but it was late now and I was hungry.
I was rummaging around in my empty refrigerator when the phone rang. The caller ID wasn’t one I recognized.
“Hi, Abby.”
Jake’s voice surprised me, caused my heart to thud, made my palms sweaty. And made me very happy.
“Jake! Where are you? Are you home?”
“No, not yet. Still on the road. Seattle, Washington, to be exact. I’m just calling from the hotel to see how you are. I’ve missed you.”
It was so good to hear Jake’s voice, to have him tell me about the meetings he had, all those little details of his day. We talked for a long time, about nothing really, me omitting where I’d been for the last two days, and with whom.
When I hung up I had a nagging voice in my mind, that I was somehow betraying Jake by being with Chase.
But another voice, Chase’s voice, was there; telling me Jake had secrets, secrets with the potential to hurt me. It made whatever this was all the more confusing.
***
Chase called late Sunday night from the club. I almost missed the call, diving for the phone on the last ring before it went to voicemail.
“I want to see you this week, Abby. Monday, for dinner. I assume you like steak.”
There was no wasted time or words with Chase; he was direct and to the point. I told him I wanted to see him too.
“Of course you do. I’m irresistible.” I heard the smile in his voice. “Wear something sexy. I want to ravish you with my eyes during dinner.”
He was coming from the club and I was coming from work, so we agreed to meet at the restaurant. He told me to park behind the place he’d picked, off of Texas Avenue at Capital.
The restaurant was crowded so I took a seat at the bar, ordering a bourbon and branch. I didn’t have long to wait before Chase arrived, looking sexy and casual in a black shirt and dark jeans.
He gave me a hearty kiss on the lips, pulling me hard against him. He finally let me go, keeping one arm around my shoulders. He looked down into my eyes, his easy smile making me smile back. Everything seemed to be right when he held me, no matter where we were.
“You’re a sight for sore eyes, Abby. I’ve missed you.”
We talked for a bit at the bar before the waitress led us to our table. I’d had a second drink and was feeling nicely relaxed, maybe a little too relaxed.
“I like the dress, Abby. Very sexy.” As we walked to our table, the hand on the small of my back had slid lower, giving my ass a squeeze.
Dinner was steak for two, perfectly done and delicious. And another drink. Slow down, Abby.
But everything felt so good, dinner, being with Chase, letting loose and having fun. We discovered there was music next door and before I realized it, we were out dancing, one song after another.
“I can’t remember the last time I did this.” I was winded, sitting at a small table off to the side, another drink waiting for me.
“Feels good to get out of your routine, doesn’t it?” Chase had undone a button or two on his shirt, just a bit more of his broad chest visible. It did things to me that shouldn’t be allowed in certain states.
A slow song started and the lights dimmed. Chase took my hand, pulling me up to his chest.
“Come on, Abby. One more.”
He held me against his body, every inch of him possible pressed against me. We were the perfect height; his erection caught me just on the bone above my thighs, making it easy to grind against his hard c*ck with just the slightest pressure.
When the song ended, we were both breathing hard, eyes locked, bodies still locked together. When the lights came up and the first notes of the next song started, we broke apart. Unspoken, I grabbed my purse and he pulled me out the back door of the place, into the parking lot, to his car.
It had been a long time since I’d fooled around in the back seat of someone’s car, longer even than since the last time I’d danced, and my heart thudded in my chest.
Chase’s car, a little red convertible, was parked in the far corner of the lot, bordered on two sides by a chest high brick wall. A rush of giggles spilled out as I imagined him and me in the back seat, which was almost non-existent.
But he pulled me toward the front of the car, turning around, grabbing me by the shoulders. I winced; it was the same place he’d grabbed me Thursday, and probably Friday, and my arms were covered with tiny fingerprint bruises. But he had me pulled against him, his mouth on mine, his hands moving down to cup my ass, thrusting himself slowly against me.
The bourbon made me relaxed, pleasantly fuzzy around the edges. The air was warm and soft around us, the twilight deep purple, almost, but not quite night. His mouth was working all kinds of magic on mine, his tongue probing every recess in my mouth.
Lost in all this erotic play, I was only dimly aware of his hand sliding between us, moving with purpose, the soft sound of his zipper being tugged down.
His mouth was no longer on mine. His hands were on my shoulders then, gently pushing me down. I opened my eyes, looking up at him in the dim light of the parking lot.
“No…we’re in public. Someone will see us.” But as I looked around, I realized we were hidden in the darkest corner of the lot, the car behind me blocking any view of what I would be doing.
“Come on, Abby.” His voice was low, so very seductive. “Do it for me. You’re so f**king sexy in that dress. I can’t go home with this.” He looked down; I followed his gaze. His erection was huge, standing away from the open flies of his jeans. The sight of it made me gasp, a hard thump of arousal hitting me low again, another punch, not unexpected this time.
The pressure of his hands on my shoulders grew. I felt my knees giving way slowly, as I slid my hands down his chest, looking up at his face against the darkening sky.
The parking lot was rough under my knees as I took him in my hand, wrapping my fingers around the shaft of his erection. I ran my tongue over the head of his cock, flicking it along the sensitive underside. Chase’s hands were on my head, tangling in my hair.
I took him into my mouth, swirling my tongue around the shaft of his cock, feeling the softness of the skin over the heat and hardness. My hands had moved to his balls, caressing each one, rubbing them, teasing him as I pulled his c*ck from my mouth. I kept this up, bobbing my head, working him further and further into my mouth.
With a groan Chase suddenly pushed my head down on his cock, thrusting himself hard into my mouth. It took me by surprise, made me gag briefly. I pulled him out of my mouth, stroking him slowly while I caught my breath. I looked up at him, his face barely visible in the dark. I couldn’t read his expression.
His hands were still holding my head, but I felt them relax. I took him back into my mouth, licking and sucking, pulling him out to stroke him hard and fast. If he wanted it rough, I’d give it to him, but on my terms.
The thrill of being outside, with the ever-present potential of someone seeing us, made me hot, turned me on. I was moaning against Chase’s c*ck by now, my own h*ps thrusting forward in time with Chase’s body.
When he came, it was with brief but loud cry and an explosive thrust, his h*ps thrusting forward. His fingers dug into my scalp and I let him take control as his orgasm peaked.
When it was over, he pulled me up, offering his handkerchief. I wiped my lips, hearing the sound of the zipper on his jeans. He grabbed me, pulling me back against his body, kissing me hard.
“That was amazing, Abby.” He broke away, looking down at me in the dim light, brushing the hair away from my face.
“Are you okay to drive home? You’ve had a few drinks tonight.”
I nodded my head. “I’m fine. I don’t have that far to go. I’ll be okay.”
“Call me when you get home so I know you got home safely.”
I drove home with the window down, pushing the speed limit, the wind in my hair. I felt alive, reckless.
Chase answered his cell on the first ring. After he was assured I was home, safe and sound, he asked if I wanted to go on a road trip with him on the weekend. There was a horse he was interested in buying a couple hours north of his ranch. We would leave on Saturday; ride up early to see the horse and then take a leisurely ride back, enjoying the day and the countryside.
I thought it sounded like a wonderful idea. Chase suggested I come up Friday after work and we could get an early start on Saturday.
“But what about the club?”
“This is why they invented assistant managers. Stacy will be there; she’s my right hand in most things club related. No one gives Stacy any problems; she’s tougher on staff and guests than I ever am. It’ll be in good hands for the weekend.”
***
The week dragged. I had lunch with Leslie on Wednesday, feeding her seemingly insatiable desire for details about my sex life. She was alternately fascinated and horrified by my encounter with Chase in the parking lot.
“Abby! Really? How cool…and weird. He made you give him a bl*w j*b in the parking lot?” We were at the sushi place, a plate of California rolls in front of us.
“No, not made me…not really. He was forceful, but he didn’t force me. There’s a difference.” I speared a roll with a chopstick, dunking it in tamari sauce, coaxing a blob of wasabi onto the roll.
“There is? Well, okay. Semantics I guess. When are you seeing him next?”
I told her about the weekend road trip to see the horse. She laughed.
“You hate big animals. They scare you.”
“I know, but I’m not riding the horse. I’m just looking at it, not buying it.”
“When’s Jake coming back?”
I shrugged, pretended to be busy with my wasabi, pushing a tiny green bit around on my plate. There was a pang of guilt mixed in with my excitement over Chase. Leslie picked up on that right away.
“Don’t you like Jake anymore? I thought you and he had some type of mystical relationship there that transcended logic or something.” She took a sip of tea, watching me through the curling steam.
“I like Jake just fine.” I realized I was fidgeting in my chair. “It’s complicated.”