****
Thanks to Emma, Sebastian was now fully awake, and even more fully amused. Shoulders shaking with laughter, he couldn’t form a sentence. Each time he tried, he looked across at Emma’s red face and the amusement started all over again.
“Please do tell what was in that little head of yours a moment ago. Were you dreaming of me, sweet?”
“Hardly,” she clipped.
“Ah, then you were trying to seduce me with your words, you little minx. What was I again? A sly fox? I haven’t been called one of those in a long while. However did you know? Oh, Emma, are you not speaking to me now?”
Her silence was his answer, though he noticed the hint of a smile play across her lush lips. Unfortunately her little speech did more to his body than he would have liked to admit. Hiding his attraction to her was going to take a herculean effort on his part. Not that he needed to hide his attraction. After all, they were supposed to be betrothed. But it wasn’t real, could never be real. She was his best friend’s cousin and she deserved to be loved and cherished. That type of marriage was not in the cards for Sebastian. People he loved died, and his heart couldn’t bear sharing his body and soul with someone just to have them leave him.
The rest of the carriage ride was met with Sebastian’s incessant joking and ridicule to try to get Emma to talk. And Emma’s uncanny ability to ignore him? If he were vying for her attention, he would be frustrated if not completely at his wit’s end.
But he wasn’t vying for her attention.
So those blasted feelings of irritation about the fact that she could simply ignore him didn’t mean anything.
Sebastian was so lost in thought that when the carriage doors opened, he wasn’t as careful as usual and fell flat on his face.
“Your grace!” Footman, livery, everyone within a safe distance ran at him. The only object hurt was his pride. The servants probably assumed that since he had tripped on their watch they would all be let go.
“I’m—” He was about to say fine, but was rudely interrupted by the sound of Emma’s laughter. Turning ever so slowly, his eyes fell on the object of his distraction, doubled over in the carriage, tears streaming down her face.
“Now that I’ve made a cake of myself…” Sebastian held out his dirty gloved hand to Emma who, still laughing, took his hand and thanked him, but not before showing him how one gets out of a carriage, and producing such an act of showing exactly how to exit a carriage that he couldn’t help but applaud the girl’s effort at making him feel like a lummox.
“Minx.”
“Fox,” she retorted then curtsied. His smile was firmly in place all the way up to the large doors of Rawlings' estate.
Chapter Fifteen
Sebastian instantly sobered when Rawlings himself opened the door and, without giving the duke the proper bow and address society demanded, turned his attention toward Emma and smiled wickedly.
“Miss Gates, it has been too long.”
Should he name his seconds? Sebastian felt a strange bolt of jealousy slam into his chest as he realized more than one man feigned ownership over Emma. Fists clenched he fought the urge to pummel the man in front of him, offering a tight smile instead. Did he have any special claim on Emma? Any more claim than Rawlings? If anything, he had less of a claim, considering he was to be helping her with the male sex instead of wanting to draw his pistol on the first man who looked at her. But did that man have to be Rawlings?
Emma’s face registered absolute shock, as Rawlings bent over her hand and brushed the lightest of kisses across her knuckles. Her eyes squinted as if trying to figure him out. Rawlings turned to Sebastian.
“Your grace.”
Sebastian inclined his head at Rawlings' disappearing form. The cad had barely acknowledged him. If that was how he was going to play it, fine. He loathed him. Besides, it was inexcusable for him to eye Emma the way he had.
“Come.” Sebastian held out his arm for Emma to take, but she was frozen in place. Painful emotions whirled across her beautiful features. “Emma, are you all right?”
“Fine.” She cleared her throat and pasted a strained smile on her face. “Do you think it’s time for refreshments?” With that, she walked ahead of him.
Something was wrong. And how in creation did she know where she was going in this large house? It was impressive to say the least, boasting of centuries of money. Maybe Rawlings wasn’t so deep in debt after all.
Sebastian, still perplexed, was taken up to his bedchambers to freshen up before dinner. Most of the guests were arriving the following day, leaving Rawlings alone with the guests who had materialized that afternoon. Among the few were Sir Belverd and his wife, and finally Lord Richards and his daughters.
All in all it would not be a lively night. Rumor had it Belverd’s wife was increasing—the only reason Sebastian could think of for Belverd to attend was as a favor to Nicholas, who couldn’t pull himself away from his responsibilities long enough to aid in Sebastian’s hunt.
That left Lord Richards and his two daughters. Never had Sebastian met debutantes more unfit for a Season in London than those girls. While both heartbreakingly beautiful, they were so shy it was more interesting to talk to oneself than endeavoring to engage them in conversation.
Sebastian gave it one more Season before Lord Richards started adding more blunt to their dowries.
Donning his dinner jacket, he left his room and bounded down the stairs taking them two at a time. He hadn’t seen Emma since her odd behavior earlier. It wouldn’t surprise him if she were resting in her room. The girl had been too busy talking to herself in the carriage to sleep. The memory brought a smile to his lips.
He walked slowly down the hall. A room at the end was still lit, possibly another guest getting ready to come to dinner. And then he heard Emma’s voice.
“Lord Rawlings, please…”
“You never used to call me Lord Rawlings. I remember a time when you used to say my name. How I wish I could hear it now from your lips. Say it, Emma, say my name. Has it truly been so long ago?”
Emma’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Yes, it was another lifetime, my lord.”
“But we are so different now. I have my father’s title. Everything that happened was lost when he died. Can we not start anew? You can’t imagine my surprise at seeing you in London…or the absolute shock that you’d attach yourself to one such as Tempest. You don’t actually believe you can win him, do you? My bet says the poor man doesn’t even know.”
“It is not your concern, my lord.” Her voice rose. Sebastian wanted to cheer as he neared closer to the door and listened.
Rawlings laughed. “Easy, we wouldn’t want you getting overheated before dinner. You have not answered my question. Does he know, Emma? I would hate to see such a beneficial match turn out so…badly, wouldn’t you?”
“Don’t,” Emma choked.
“Ah, my sweet, I would never do that to you. Haven’t I kept my silence all these years? I loved you—I still do.”
As he listened, Sebastian imagined all the worst possible things the two could be discussing. She knew Rawlings intimately, that had to be it. Had he—had he ruined her somehow? Had she formed an attachment at a young age?
Sebastian’s mind was reeling. It would do him no good to sit and listen to them continue to talk. But he would ask Emma later. She owed him that much.
****
Emma looked at Lord Rawlings’ face one last time before she felt a single tear fall down her cheek. “You are wrong, my lord. It will never be the same again.”
“Why?”
He was standing so close to her it was hard to breathe. She had once loved this man. Though her love had only extended to friendship, she had wanted to give everything she was to him. And he had let her down more than anyone and still held all the cards. One word from him and Sebastian would hate her, society would turn her out on her ear, and she would have no one.
Suddenly angry again she looked up into his crystal blue eyes. “Because you made your choice long ago, Rawlings, and that choice did not include me.”
His nostrils flared with a mixture of anger and irritation. Grabbing her arm, he pulled her into a ferocious kiss, then forcefully released her, nearly sending her flying backward. She was too shocked to say or do anything. Was he insane? The way the candles flickered across his face made him darkly handsome. Too bad he was in league with the devil. Just what had he hoped to accomplish?
Emma stepped around him and fled the room. It was her only choice. After being kissed by Rawlings, what else was she to do? He merely stood there and stared at her as if his kiss would make her remember what they had shared. He hadn’t kissed her when they were courting, except once on the cheek. He had been different then, less scarred, less ruined by the darkness of the world.
Now he appeared desperate. But what did that have to do with her? The only thing that came to mind was that he was using her as a way to get to Sebastian. Maybe he needed money? Naturally she would be a good bargaining chip if she was actually to marry Sebastian, but she wasn’t. Sebastian wouldn’t pay to keep her reputation safe. Once they broke off the farce of an engagement, they would go their separate ways.
Emma groaned as she made her way down the poorly lit hallway. A sudden headache began throbbing at her temples. Mind still reeling, she walked around the corner and bumped into something.
Sebastian steadied her with strong arms.
“Not now,” he said. “Later tonight, before I lose my mind with worry and curiosity, you will tell me what that was about, Emma. Now,” he pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to her, “wipe your tears and put a smile on your face. Later you can cry. Right now you need to pretend everything’s fine.”
Emma laughed bitterly. Hadn’t she been doing exactly that since the incident? Pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t? Pasting a smile on her face because she couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in her parents’ eyes?
After Sebastian deemed her presentable, she walked in on his arm and was promptly seated next to Sir Belverd, who was more than happy to tell her stories of Sebastian and Nicholas’s wild days at University.
Chapter Sixteen
Emma tried to listen attentively as Sir Belverd droned on about Nicholas and Sebastian, but each time she raised her eyes to meet his, she would have the bad fortune to also meet Rawlings’ gaze, considering he was seated directly behind Sir Belverd at the head of the table.
Gulping down the last bit of wine in her glass, for it had been refilled at least twice, she managed a tiny smile as Belverd’s voice continued to fill the silence.
Sebastian, because he was the highest ranking guest, was seated away from her next to Rawlings, which was probably miserable for both of them, considering she knew they despised one another. She only hoped Sebastian hadn’t let his fork slip a few times, then again, maybe her appetite would return if she were to see Rawlings on the other end of a pointed fork or knife, making him nearly as uncomfortable as she.
Seeing him again was absolutely miserable. He hadn’t wanted anything to do with her for years, and now, suddenly, he wants to start fresh? As if the incident had never happened? Her stomach recoiled at the thought he would use the information he knew against her, to either hurt her or hurt Sebastian, both thoughts unbearable.