“It’s kind of late for you to go to all that trouble—”
“It’s only eight thirty. It’s Friday night.”
She’d wanted to see him and here was her opportunity. Why was she balking? If she was about to spend a week alone with the man, she needed to get herself re-accustomed to being around him. A lot. The last thing she wanted on her vacation was any awkwardness between them. Sharing a room…sharing a bed?
She ran wet and hot between her legs just thinking about it, and about the possibility of seeing him tonight. Only it would surely end in frustration for her, as it always had. It wasn’t like they’d never shared a bed. She’d never had hang-ups about her looks, but she’d decided long ago—nine, ten years ago—that he must find her repulsive in some way, and she’d just never had it in her to seduce him. She hadn’t even known where to start.
Regardless of whether she and Evan would ever take it to the next level, and even knowing the sight of his beautiful face would only break her heart, she was achingly lonely since Lisa had left. She needed company. His.
The contents of her checking account flashed before her mind, and she considered it before making her offer. “All right. Do you need me to bring anything from the store?”
“I’m pretty sure I have everything. If I don’t, we’ll just go after you get here.” That smile was back in his voice. “I’m glad you’re coming out. How long will you be?”
“Thirty, forty-five minutes?” She needed to shower and change. And wear sexy underwear, just in case. God, it was just like college on automatic replay, when she’d woken up every morning and wondered if today might be the day he came to his senses and realized they were meant to be together. Did she really want to put herself through that pathetic yearning again?
“Great. I’ll see you then.” The warmth in his tone curled up and settled around her heart, completely separate from the warmth curling in other places. As they hung up she could visualize his bedroom in her mind—she’d been in it only once a couple of years ago, shortly after he bought the house—with its deep jewel tones and the stately California king sleigh bed. She loved that bed. She could see them together in that bed.
Stop. Kelsey supposed she would never get it through her thick head that it wouldn’t happen for them. Lisa was wrong. Evan could have any woman he wanted and he’d never wanted her. Kelsey had to face that fact, and accept that she would go to his house, eat and drink and laugh all night, then leave. They would go to Hawaii and do much of the same. And she would come home always having a friend in him, but never a lover.
She could accept it, but it wouldn’t stop the hurt.
Chapter Three
Evan put the phone down on the kitchen counter, his smile still lingering even after her voice was gone. And that silly grin wouldn’t seem to go away as he walked over to wash his hands in the sink and take two porterhouse steaks out of the freezer.
“Who’s coming over?” his brother Brian yelled from the living room. He’d been earjacking again, despite the metalcore videos blaring from the TV.
“Kelsey. So get your slacker ass off my couch,” Evan called back. The casual bystander would have detected a hint of hostility in his tone. They might have been right. Brian took it all in good humor, though at twenty-six he really did spend more time on Evan’s and his parents’ couches than anywhere else except the local tattoo parlor, where he was an artist. And a damn good one, at that, but he couldn’t even commit fully to the things he excelled at and enjoyed.
“I knew you were talking to a girl. I can always tell.” Brian padded into the kitchen, his feet bare and his long black and blue hair mussed, to get a Red Bull from the refrigerator. Dragons and flames and God only knew what else crawled down the skin of his arms from under the Nine Inch Nails T-shirt he wore. To look at him, one would think he was a pierced, tattooed nightmare, and it was true Evan often worried when Brian showed up unannounced that he might be harboring a fugitive. He was the reason Evan would probably never make a run for district attorney. But he was mostly harmless.
“Brian, piss off.”
“So she’s coming over because…”
“Because I invited her.” Evan set the microwave to defrost and put in one steak. He turned to his pantry and collected the spices he needed for seasoning. “You do remember that we leave the day after tomorrow, right? And that I’m letting you stay here unsupervised the whole week? Don’t make me regret it before I even leave.”
“Whatever. So are you making a play for this girl?”
It was the burning question. Was he? She’d always been an enigma to him in college, and ten years later, she still was to an extent. Back then she’d been a strange mix. At a party she was the one laughing the loudest in the room, talking to the most people, staying till the wee hours. She might do that one night and close down the library the next, careful not to jeopardize her near-perfect GPA. He’d never known anyone more loyal, more genuinely nice. She was everyone’s sweetheart. He’d been head over heels for her because of that alone.
But on the flip side, she’d been a bit…prudish. She was only laughing the loudest until dirty jokes or sex talk started to fly, then she turned blood red and usually vanished. She’d never dated anyone that he knew of until she met Todd. Even now, just two days ago, she’d choked up when he got a little suggestive over the phone.
And by the time long ago when he’d decided that facet of her personality didn’t matter to him anymore, it was too late. Now there was another chance, but damn if there weren’t even more problems.
He’d seen how her heartbreak of six months ago had wounded her down to the bone. He couldn’t relate. Courtney’s betrayal had delivered a swift sucker punch to his ego that over time morphed into relief. Most days he didn’t waste a single thought on what the girl had done to him, and if he did, it was because he was thinking of Kelsey, and wishing he hadn’t introduced two such destructive people into her life. She’d probably be better off right now if she’d never met him.
“We’re just friends, Brian. I invited her because she’s had a rough time these past few months and she deserves to have a little fun.”
“And the fact that you always wanted to nail her has no bearing on it at all.”
Evan whipped his head around. “What?”
Brian took a swig of his drink without taking his too-knowing gaze from Evan’s. He smoothed a hand down over his black goatee. “I know you, man. Hey, it’s cool. She’s fun.”
“Yeah.”
“Dude, if you try to get through a week alone with her without getting a piece, I’d hate to be you. You’ll come home with your nuts on ice. And I’ll laugh.”
“She really doesn’t need one of her best friends putting the moves on her after what she’s been through, Brian.”
“What if she goes crazy and begs you for it, man? That happens to me all the time.”
Ha. Not likely, not with Kelsey. Evan cast his brother a wry glance. “Right. How drunk did you have to get these girls?”
“Avoid the issue at hand. That’s all right.” Brian laughed in merry triumph and wandered off to the guest room he often crashed in. The rumbling thunder of Pantera’s “Psycho Holiday” began shaking the foundations of the house soon after. Evan sighed. He didn’t mind heavy metal and went to concerts with his brother sometimes, though he usually felt wretched standing in plain sight of the dozen or so prosecutable offenses going on in the crowd around him. But Brian played his music at a volume that made Evan thankful he didn’t have any close neighbors. Still, it didn’t drown out the trill of his ringing cell phone. When he checked the display, he almost wished it had.
Etiquette didn’t dictate that it was necessary to answer an ex-fiancée’s call, especially when said ex-fiancée was with someone else. It wasn’t like they had kids to discuss, or any reason at all to continue speaking to each other. More than anything else, Courtney had become a source of entertainment and information over the past several months. He almost let her call go to voicemail, but decided it probably best to deal with her and get it over with. If he didn’t, she might call his mom, cry to her and get her all upset. The two had been great friends.
He answered with a curt, “Hey.”
Her reply was soft and sad, as it usually was lately. The woman was miserable. But she’d made her bed. “Hey. What are you doing?”
You remember the girl whose marriage you wrecked? Yeah, I’m hanging out with her tonight.
It might not be the nicest reply. Sometimes he thought he was too nice. “Getting ready for company.”
“It sounds like you’re having a party.”
“No, Brian’s here. You know how he is.”
“Oh. Never mind, then. I was hoping…I was hoping maybe we could talk tonight.”
“Is Todd not in a talking mood tonight?”
There was a pause. “I left him.”
Evan nearly dropped the phone. After he managed to hang onto it, he gripped it with both hands and wrung it as if it were a neck. Hers. Casting an aimless Why me? to the ceiling, he brought it back to his ear.
“Sorry to hear.”
“Are you?” she asked on a halting note, as if she’d expected him to fall into paroxysms of joy at the news.
“Well, Court, you hurt a lot of people to be with this guy, so I guess it’s a shame it was all for nothing.”
Christ, now she was weeping. She tried to cover it up, but not very well. “I think he wants his ex-wife back. I guess you think I deserve it.”
Great. But at least he managed to avoid the bait she threw out. “Did he say he wanted her back?”
“No. Just a feeling I get, and I can’t stand it anymore. Who do you have coming over?”
“A friend. Don’t worry about it.” Kelsey would probably fly through the roof when she found out about this. He wouldn’t tell her, not tonight.
“You mean it’s none of my business.”
“If that’s the way you want to take it.”
“A girl?”
“Believe it or not, I didn’t put my life on hold waiting for you to make this call, Courtney.”
“I didn’t think you were seeing anyone.”
“I’m not. But I need to go right now. I’ve got stuff to do.”
“Can we talk later?”
“What is there to talk about? There’s nothing left to say that we haven’t both already said a thousand times. You told me you were sorry. I told you I’ve forgiven you and I meant it. So if it’s guilt you feel, don’t beat yourself up. It happened. It’s over and done with.”
He’d forgiven her, sure. Forgiven her simply because he didn’t give a damn anymore.
“Evan…I can’t forgive myself.” Her voice was quivering, barely discernible over the music from Brian’s room. He covered his free ear with one hand.