“Hey, now. I don’t need a babysitter.”
“You totally do. What are you doing now?”
“Now? Um…” She glanced over the shelves to where Sam and Macy were strolling through the new releases a few aisles away, occasionally sending her a glance and a thumbs up. She hated to skip out on her friends, but Sam had told her not to mind them… “The girls and I were going to watch something tonight, but it wasn’t set in stone or anything.”
“Oh. Well, I was going to say we should hang out, but I hate to drag you away from—”
“It’s totally fine!” Sam bellowed, waving at them as Macy shook her head. Candace face-palmed as Brian burst out laughing.
“I don’t think they really wanted to hang out with you all that much,” he observed.
That wasn’t it at all, and he knew it. But God bless him, he seemed to be trying to save her from the embarrassment of having this raging, out-of-control crush on him. She would be forever grateful. “Sounds like you’re right about that.”
Chapter Five
If only Mom knew what I was doing now.
Candace tossed a popcorn bag into her microwave and set the timer, unable to repress a smirk.
It was hard to believe Brian was in her living room. Brian. Was in. Her living room. Feeding the DVD into her player right now. Moments before, he’d been fiddling with the color on her TV, after proclaiming it “crap”. Before that, he’d been in the kitchen with her, casting such a dark shadow around her cheerful white-and-yellow décor that she’d hardly been able to breathe.
His very presence here overwhelmed and unnerved her. Not that she didn’t like it, or want it. The unfamiliarity of having a man in her living space was manifesting itself in a thrum beneath her skin, a slight tremble in her fingers, and perpetual dryness of the mouth. She’d nearly dropped everything she tried to pick up and she’d probably choke on the popcorn if she tried to eat it right now. Heck, she needed one of the beers he’d stowed in her fridge. And she hardly ever drank.
Her cell phone bleeped at her from the counter and she picked it up to find a text message from Sam: Have u handed in ur V-card yet? Even as the question made her want to dive under her bed and hide, she had to snicker at the idea that she and Brian had a captive audience across town.
We just got here! Call u later, she tapped back, and hoped that would be that for the night. Knowing her friends, they were going to harass her all night, demanding updates. What did they expect her to do, hop on Twitter during the act and give them a play-by-play?
She gave a half-hysterical giggle at the thought as the microwave chimed.
“What’s so funny in there?” Brian asked.
“Oh…oh, um, texting with Samantha.” She shoved the phone in her pocket, peeking over the bar that separated her kitchen from the living room. Brian was perched on the edge of her sofa, thumbing the remote control. Once the movie was queued up and ready to go, he sat back, his long legs sprawled in front of him.
Candace swallowed hard around the fast-forming lump in her throat. Images flickered through her mind. Sauntering nak*d into that room and straddling him. Her fingers deft and confident as she freed his erection from his jeans and guided it inside her. Riding it to ecstasy with his mouth all over her br**sts. All week long she’d been having fantasies like that. But now, with his presence, they were so much more vivid. So much more…within reach.
Ridiculous. Just because she had him in her apartment didn’t mean she was any closer to having him than she’d ever been. Sighing, she retrieved the popcorn bag from the microwave, dumped its fluffy, fragrant contents into a big bowl, and joined him on the couch.
The movie kept her riveted from the start, but she was always aware of him. They were seated far enough apart that another person could have fit between them, and she ended up setting the popcorn bowl there so they could both have easy access. When he wasn’t digging into it, he would stretch his arm across the back of the couch, but the action only brought his hand close to her left shoulder. Nowhere near as close as she would’ve liked.
It was hard for her throughout the course of a film to remain quiet and not make comments or jokes, and he was the same way. Michelle had always been hissing and bitching at them whenever they had all watched one together, because it never failed she and Brian struck up a constant stream of witticisms. It was no different now, except for this interminable tension that had her stuttering over most of her words. And sometimes he’d say something that ordinarily would have her in hysterics, but she could hardly even dredge up a chuckle.
He wasn’t going to put the moves on her. She’d accepted that. If she wanted him—and did she ever—then it was all on her to get him.
That thought terrified her.
“Hey, what’s up with you tonight?” he finally asked, giving her shoulder a playful nudge that nearly made her leap off the couch. His expression fell. “It’s not scaring you, is it?”
“Oh, no way. I’m enjoying it.” She resisted all urges to place her hand over the spot where he’d touched her. Her flesh was still tingling there.
“Are you all right? Nothing’s got you down?”
She fidgeted. “No. Just…um, preoccupied, I guess. I’m sorry if I’m not good company.”
He waved a hand dismissively. “You’re great. But I imagine you’re really busy with school and stuff.” She could have hugged him for the out he gave her.
“Yeah, that’s it exactly. I think I’m overloading myself sometimes, trying to hurry up and get done with it.”
“What’s the rush? It can’t be good for you to kill yourself like this.”
Getting the hell out from under my mom and dad’s dictatorship, that’s what. “The sooner I finish, the sooner I can start working, and the sooner I’ll be my own person.” Frustrated at the admission, she shoved her hand in the popcorn bowl only to brush it against his as he was reaching for another handful, and that thrill shot up her arm again, frazzling her thoughts.
“So how is it that you’re not your own person already?”
She shrugged. “Don’t mind me, I’m rattling on. It was kind of a stressful day.”
“If there’s something you should be working on right now, we can do this some other—”
“No, no, I’m glad you came over. I’m really…um, really glad you’re here.”
He grinned, and she could’ve sunk five inches into the couch for the way she melted. His teeth were perfectly straight, even and dazzling against his olive complexion. “I couldn’t believe it when you walked into my parlor the other day. It was damn sure the most pleasant surprise I’ve gotten in a while.”
That warmed her all over, rendered her momentarily speechless. “Well, good. I’d have gone in to see you sooner if I’d known you…I mean, that you…”
“Missed you?” he asked, giving her shoulder a few teasing taps.
She shivered. “Well…”
“I did. More than I wanted to admit to myself.”
What did that mean? Apparently, he wasn’t going to elaborate. Tearing his gaze away from her suddenly, he took a drink from his beer and focused on the movie again. On her flat screen, the cave-dwelling monsters were launching their attack upon the hapless spelunkers. Candace shoved the wad of popcorn she was holding into her mouth and tried to concentrate. Her phone buzzed in her jeans pocket…probably Samantha requesting another update. They would have to wait.
“Can I ask you a question?” she blurted.
“Shoot.”
“I know I said it’s not my business, so feel free to shut me down. But…why did you and Michelle break up?”
“Honey, we were just totally wrong for each other. Two more wrong-for-each-other people never existed.”
She had the feeling he was patronizing her, as if she was a naïve little girl and he was trying to protect her from all the ugliness in the world. “But what finally made you decide that?”
“I always knew that. But I was willing to let it ride.” He shrugged. “I liked her.”
Hmm. She had the feeling “liked her” equated to “she was dyn**ite in the sack”. Michelle was a self-proclaimed nymphomaniac. “Did she do something?”
“Not one thing. If you want me to pinpoint some catalyst for you, I can’t. The longer it went on, the more serious it started to get, and it wasn’t happening for me. Or for her. We were both two entirely different people, heading in different directions.”
“You don’t want a commitment,” she supplied, sounding too glum to her own ears.
“Actually, I’m not opposed to a commitment, Candace.” His use of her name right then sent a funny jolt through her stomach. He didn’t look at her. “It’s a matter of finding someone who doesn’t drive me up the f**king wall.”
“Is that all you need? Someone you can tolerate? What about finding someone you love?”
“Never known it.”
“But surely you know it’s out there.”
“I guess. My brother’s in love. My parents have always been disgustingly in love. I can’t see myself ever having that.”
“Why not?”
“Damn, girl, you are inquisitive.”
She straightened, certain she was blushing. “I’m sorry. Never mind.”
“It’s all right. But let’s put you on the hot seat. Ever been in love?”
I’m at least ninety-nine percent certain I am right now. Ohhh, that was a dangerous thought to entertain. And her mind returned it way too easily. So easily it could have rolled right off her tongue. “No. I mean, I’ve loved someone, but, um…I don’t think there can be true, unequivocal love unless that person loves you in return. If they don’t, it’s just…unfulfilled. Don’t you think?”
He was watching her now. “Any man you’re in love with who doesn’t love you back is a damn fool.”
She wanted to laugh out loud. If he only knew… “That’s sweet of you to say.”
“It’s the truth,” he said, his gaze lingering on her face. Something in that dark look stirred a longing between her legs that had her shifting positions. It brought back everything she’d felt lying on that table in his back room.
“So you’re saying…I’m lovable to you?”
He shook himself suddenly, emitting a laugh that made her jump. “Oh, hell. I’ve talked myself into a corner, haven’t I? Yes, sunshine, I think you are undeniably, exquisitely…lovable.”
But could you love me?
The question hung in the air, unspoken. She had the feeling he sensed it as well as she. His gaze still searched her face as if he pondered the answer.
Filling her lungs with adequate amounts of oxygen was proving to be more of a chore as this night wore on. For probably the millionth time, she wondered how it would feel to kiss him. Amazing, that for all her inexperience, in that one particular moment she was most concerned with something as simple as a kiss. Although with him, she would lay bets it would be anything but simple.