She turned to putty. He’d often told her she was beautiful while they were making love, but not like this. Something had definitely changed between them. Where was his hostility? It was like it had taken a break.
She dragged her gaze away and buried her face in Nicole’s hair, biting her tongue. Dominic was making it so difficult for her not to tell him she loved him. If only…
All at once she realized something. After finding out about Joe last night, he clearly didn’t believe she was a gold digger any longer. So might he now realize she hadn’t been unfaithful to Liam? And could that mean in six months’ time she would be in no danger of losing Nicole once that letter with the lawyer was destroyed? That there would be no need to drag Keith Samuels into court to testify against her? That she might actually be able to tell Dominic she loved him?
If she dared risk her heart.
But what if she risked her heart and he didn’t feel anything stronger than fondness? What if he didn’t love her? Couldn’t love her? Did she want to risk her heart then? She swallowed as her spirits dampened. Perhaps it was a question best answered closer to the time. He no longer had a low opinion of her, and that was a start.
She lifted her face away from Nicole’s hair and tried to act nonchalant. “Penny called me just before,” she said, watching as he stopped filming. “You put five thousand into her account.” She tilted her head. “It wasn’t a mistake, was it?”
“No.”
“Then thank you.” She had to stop herself from saying she would pay him back. This time she would accept his generosity in the spirit it was given. “I told her about the job for her husband, too. You made her cry.”
He actually looked a little embarrassed. “I’m glad to help,” he said, then looked the other way and jerkily went to turn the camcorder on again.
She was rather bemused by his discomfort. “Let me have that please, Dominic. It’s my turn to record you and Nicole together.” She smiled. “That way she’ll see how handsome her father is, too.”
His head reeled back. “Her father?”
She empathized with what he was feeling. “Yes, that’s how she’ll see you. Like I do with Joe. You’ll be her father in every way that matters.”
He seemed to swallow a lump in his throat. “Yes, of course.” But he didn’t move.
She was the one to move forward. “Here. You hold her.” She swapped Nicole for the camcorder. “How does this thing work?”
He didn’t comment. He was looking down at Nicole in his arms, and she suddenly knew the moment was getting to him. She let him have this time.
Then, “How does it work?” she reminded him gently.
Finally he looked up, then blinked as if coming from a long way off. He focused on her. “Right. This is what you do,” he began.
Over the next couple of hours, the Christmas tree was delivered and Nicole napped in the shade nearby while they ate a light lunch poolside. Then the little girl woke up and Dominic insisted on feeding her lunch while Cassandra went to prepare the dinner for this evening. Midafternoon, they all had a dip in the pool before eventually it was too much for Nicole again and she started to cry. Soon she had fallen asleep in her crib.
Then Dominic drew Cassandra into their bedroom and made love to her, and afterward she fell asleep curled up against him. If she had to wish for a better belated birthday, she couldn’t. She just hoped that tonight’s gathering for the family dinner and to put up the Christmas tree wasn’t going to spoil things. She wanted everything to be as perfect as possible. So much of that relied on his parents.
Eleven
Cassandra felt nervous a few hours later when Dominic opened the front door to both his parents and his brother Adam. She prayed the evening went well. Goodwill to all men—and women—she added, hoping her in-laws could put aside their feelings for her tonight.
Nicole looked like a little doll in her red reindeer dress. And Dominic looked so very handsome holding the little girl in his arms. She knew she looked quite nice herself, in a sleeveless green dress cinched at the waist with a silver belt, yet it was more about what they looked like as a family. She actually sensed the possibility the three of them could be a real family one day.
If only Laura and Michael would consider her a real part of their family, she thought with a silent sigh. Looking at her mother-in-law’s slightly red-rimmed eyes as she kissed Dominic and Nicole, she knew she’d set her hopes too high. There had been no kiss for her again. It was obvious she didn’t want to be here. Correction—she didn’t want her to be here.
And then Laura touched Nicole’s blond curls in a loving gesture that brought a lump to Cassandra’s throat and reminded her how much she valued their love for their granddaughter. It was her one comfort in a trying situation.
“How about we go in the living room and have some iced eggnog?” Dominic suggested.
They all moved farther inside the house, then came to a standstill at the arched entrance to the living room.
“You’ve got a real tree?” Michael said in mild surprise.
The unadorned Christmas tree took pride of place in a corner of the large room while Christmas carols played softly in the background. It wasn’t unusual for people to have a real tree during a hot, summery Christmas, but artificial trees were more the norm these days.
“Yes, I’ve always wanted a real tree. Do you like it?”
Her father-in-law nodded. “It’s a nice touch.”
“I think so, too, Dad,” Dominic added, winking at her.
Relief spiraled through her. Thank God she’d actually managed to do something right today.
Then Adam slapped his hands together. “Okay, where’s this eggnog, then?” he said in typical male fashion. He moved farther into the room.
“My God!” Laura choked, stopping everyone in their tracks and sending Cassandra’s stomach plummeting as she spun toward her. “I don’t know how you can be so insensitive, Cassandra. Are you trying to remind us that we no longer have our son?”
“Laura, no!” Cassandra exclaimed, hearing Dominic swear, clearly as horrified at the turn of events.
“You did it on purpose. You knew we could never have a real tree because of Liam’s hayfever.”
Cassandra shook her head. “No! This was about having a living Christmas. I thought it would be a nice touch, that’s all. I wasn’t trying to cause you more pain.”
“You expect me to believe you?” Laura said, her voice clogging with tears.
Cassandra swallowed the despair in her throat. “Yes.”
“Mum,” Dominic growled. “That’s enough.”
“Laura, this isn’t the time or place,” Michael said firmly, putting his hand on his wife’s arm.
Laura shook him off. “No, I can’t do this any longer, Michael. I really can’t.” Her gaze returned to her daughter-in-law. “I’m sorry for my attitude, Cassandra, but I can’t help it. I know you’re married to Dominic now, but…” Her face began to screw up. “It’s just that…” She took a deep breath. “You deserted my son. You deserted Liam when he needed you most,” she choked, then took another shuddering breath. “And I find that impossible to forgive.” Cassandra gasped.
Dominic swore low in his throat.
Adam muttered, “Mum…” in a warning voice.
At that moment Cassandra decided this wasn’t going to work. She’d been crazy to think it might. It was clear her mother-in-law wasn’t going to forgive her for something she hadn’t done. Michael believed the worst of her, too. So did Adam.
She blinked back tears, then realized she was actually relieved it had been brought out in the open. The time was right to get this off her chest. “Laura, what you said is not true. I didn’t desert Liam at all. He deserted us.”
Laura inhaled sharply. “No, you pushed him out of your life those last few months. He shouldn’t have had to come back home to…to…die.”
“But he wanted to go home. He wanted to be with you and Michael. He didn’t want to be with me and Nicole. That’s why he went home. It wasn’t because I pushed him away. That’s simply not true.”
“How can you say that?” Laura whispered.
“I begged him to stay with me and Nicole, but he wouldn’t listen to me. I even asked if we could go live with him at your place. He wouldn’t let us.”
“No, I don’t believe you. He wouldn’t do that.”
“I’m afraid he did. There were many things about your son you didn’t know.” She had to tell Laura. “It wasn’t easy living with Liam, not before he got sick and certainly not after.”
“You were his wife. You’re the one who took his love and…” She gave a sob. “You could have helped him through all that. He loved you, Cassandra. You should have helped him, not pushed him away.”
Anguish twisted inside Cassandra. “No, I didn’t push him away. We’d both fallen out of love long before he got sick, but I stayed with him because I was his wife and because I once loved him. I felt I owed him that. In the end, he didn’t want even that from me.”
Laura shook her head, clearly determined not to believe her.
Cassandra had known this wasn’t going to be easy. “Stop for a moment and look past your grief. Listen to what I’m saying, Laura. Liam knew he was dying. He knew his time was limited. Don’t you think he’d have wanted to spend every minute with his wife and daughter? And if not with me, then at least with Nicole?” She paused. “So why didn’t he?”
Laura paled a little, but she remained firm. “You wore him down until he gave up and left, that’s why.”
“No.” Cassandra held the other woman’s gaze, refusing to accept responsibility for something she hadn’t done. She understood why her mother-in-law couldn’t let go of the past right now. Laura hurt too much in losing her son, and she needed someone to take that hurt out on.
Her.
“Laura, would you have given up on spending the last few months with your son?” She saw the shock on the other woman’s face as the words hit home. “No, you didn’t, did you?” she said gently.
All at once Laura looked stricken. “But…I don’t understand. Why would Liam want a baby so much, then walk away from her in the last few months of his life? It doesn’t make sense.”
Cassandra exhaled. She was finally getting through. “Everybody reacts differently.”
“I know, but…”
“I can only guess he didn’t want Nicole to be affected by everything going on with him. I’m sure Liam wanted his daughter, but I think in the end he became too scared to love her.” She took a shaky breath. “He knew he was leaving her, you see.”
Tears pooled in the other woman’s eyes. “Oh, my God, I do believe you,” she whispered, then spun away and buried her face in her husband’s chest.
The relief of being believed was so strong, Cassandra’s knees wobbled. Until this moment, Liam had been between them, blocking her mother-in-law from seeing the truth. As painful as it was, Laura had accepted it now.