“Well, they’re both convinced that you’re going to fall for me, at which point I’ll break your heart, and the entire Chance clan will be out for blood, especially your sister, Josie.”
Alex blew out a breath. “I’m not surprised by that evaluation, but it’s a load of bull.”
“I’m not so sure.”
He gave her a quick glance, but it had to be quick considering the condition of the road. “Look, I know the score. How can you break my heart when I’m completely aware that you’re leaving and you don’t want a permanent relationship with anyone?”
“You might think you could change my mind.”
“What kind of guy would try to change your mind? You’ve worked hard to get where you are and you’ve told me several times how much you love your job. A man would have to be pretty self-serving to try to keep you here under those circumstances. I hope you already know this about me, but I’ll say it anyway. I’m not that kind of man.”
“I know you’re not, but—”
“But what? Do they imagine that after you leave on your cruise I’ll go into a decline? That I won’t be able to function, do my job, be happy?”
“Maybe something along those lines.”
Alex swore softly under his breath.
“Look, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be the cause of major friction in the family.”
“That would only happen if I reacted the way they’re predicting I will.” He tried to get a grip on his temper. “It’s not really their fault that they anticipate the worst. When I first came to Jackson Hole, I was pretty beat up. I spent a lot of time hiking and trying to figure out what went wrong between Crystal and me. I’m sure Josie hated that I was so unhappy.”
“I’m sure she did. I have brothers. A twin brother, in fact. If some woman worked him over, I’d want to take her apart. That’s why I understand where Josie’s coming from.”
“But this is totally different, Tyler. You’ve been straight with me from the beginning. You have your career, which you love. You’re not ready to give it up, not even for the kind of incredible sex that you and I have. You’ve never once suggested that you might stick around.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“My point, exactly!” He slapped a hand against the steering wheel. “Crystal promised to love me forever and then discovered that didn’t work for her, so she made other arrangements behind my back. I was blind-sided. With you, I can see in all directions. If I get hurt, it’s because I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
“Are you watching where you’re going?”
“You bet.” Unfortunately, he hit a rut he hadn’t noticed and they both bounced at least an inch off their seats. “Sorry.”
“I hope that wasn’t symbolic.”
“No, it was just a damn rut. And I hope that you haven’t let Morgan and Gabe’s dire predictions bother you, because I’m just not that fragile.”
She gazed out the window and didn’t respond.
“Looking for the bear?” He hoped she was, because maybe that would remind her of the good times they’d had and the good times they could continue to have. He was prepared to give her up on Wednesday morning. He wasn’t prepared to give her up tonight.
“Is this where we saw it?”
“The meadow is coming up on your right. Want me to slow down?”
“Yes, but if I yell, speed up.”
He downshifted and eased along the road next to the meadow. “See anything?”
“No.” She had her face plastered to the window like a little kid. “Oh, wait… I see it, Alex! Can you stop?”
“Sure.” He put the truck in Neutral and put on the emergency brake.
“See it? Over to the left, close to the trees.”
She’d given him the perfect opportunity to lean over and rest his arm along the back of her seat. She smelled like heaven. “Yeah, I see it.” A dark shadow moved through the grass.
“It’s walking away from us.”
“You sound almost sad about that.” He resisted the urge to comb her hair aside and kiss her neck.
“I’m a lot braver in the truck than on foot. And it really is kind of thrilling, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Seeing the bear didn’t rank as high on his thrill-o-meter as some other experiences he’d had tonight, but he was glad to know that she was more enthusiastic than afraid. He wouldn’t build that into anything, though. He wouldn’t start thinking that she might someday make her home in Wyoming just because she was excited about seeing a bear in the wild.
“I almost can’t see it anymore. I’ll bet it’s a grizz.”
“It’s not, but you’re welcome to tell your grandchildren it was.”
She laughed. “Okay.”
Her affectionate laughter stirred him and he couldn’t help himself. Brushing her hair from her shoulder, he placed a gentle kiss on the side of her neck. With nothing more than the press of his lips against her silky skin, arousal began teasing him again. He’d already had more sex in a few short hours than in the past several months, and yet he still wanted her. Amazing.
She sighed. “Please don’t, Alex.”
“Don’t?” He nuzzled behind her ear. “Is there something you’d rather have me do?” He slid his other hand over her warm thigh. But when he started to reach between her legs, she squeezed her thighs together, closing him out.
“No,” she said. “Don’t do that, either. That’s what I’ve been trying to explain. We can’t have sex anymore.”
He drew back to stare at her. In the lights from the dash, he couldn’t see her expression very well. “Are you serious?”
“Like a heart attack.”
“So you believe what Morgan and Gabe said to you?”
“I believe that I’ve already caused problems between you and your sister. Trust me, I understand how protective a sister can be, and now that she knows about you and me, you won’t be able to so much as frown without her thinking it’s because of us.”
“So I’ll set her straight.”
Tyler shook her head. “She won’t buy it.”
“Damn it, this isn’t any of Josie’s—”
“Sure it is.” Tyler’s voice softened. “You’ve admitted she was the person you came to when you were hurting. That makes it her business if she thinks you’re about to put yourself in harm’s way.”
He hated to admit she had a point, so he said nothing.
“Morgan’s been there for me plenty of times, too.” She shifted on the seat to face him more squarely. “If she wants to give me advice, I can’t tell her to shove a sock in it. That’s not fair. Besides, it was good advice. We are playing with fire.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“Okay, I will. I could get burned, too, Alex.”
“I don’t see how that could happen. You’ll be the one leaving.”
“Do you think I’ll forget you the minute I step on that plane?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. Isn’t that what you did last summer?”
She looked away and fiddled with the strings dangling from her sweatshirt hood. “Not exactly.”
That sucker punched him. He’d suspected earlier tonight, when she’d had trouble tying her shoes, that their lovemaking had affected her more than she wanted to let on, and that had worried him. But he’d pushed that worry away by remembering how easily she’d left him last summer.
He took a deep breath. “But you didn’t contact me.”
“You didn’t contact me, either.” The shadowy light revealed that her mouth was set in a grim line. “I figured you forgot about me the minute I left.”
“I didn’t.”
“Well, I didn’t forget about you, either. So from the moment I saw you standing in the ranch house kitchen, I’ve had an internal debate with myself because I know hav**g s*x with you could lead to an emotional mess when I have to leave on Wednesday. But then you kiss me and the debate’s over.”
Alex squeezed his eyes shut. “God, I’m sorry, Tyler.”
“It’s not all your fault. I’ve been a willing participant.”
“Yeah, but—” He opened his eyes and faced her, knowing he had plenty of blame to shoulder. “I made the first move in the barn. And then on the rock, you were hoping for clarity and I gave you an orgasm.”
Finally, a smile. “Don’t apologize for that.”
“Just don’t ever do it again, right?” He ached all over, which made him realize that from the beginning, despite his claims to the contrary, he had hoped she’d change her mind about leaving. That made him a self-serving guy, after all.
“We need to demonstrate to your sister, and everybody else, for that matter, that we’ve dialed it back, that we’re just friends now. I think if we can prove that to them in the next four days, they’ll all relax.”
“How about you?” He really wanted to hold her, but that wouldn’t help either of them and she probably wouldn’t let him, anyway. “Will you relax?”
“I don’t know, but it’s a better plan than carrying on an intense affair right up to the minute I leave the ranch. Until Morgan started questioning me, I was thinking we’d try to squeeze every drop of pleasure out of our stolen moments together.”
“That was my plan.” And to illustrate that he was indeed a self-serving jerk, he still wanted to follow that plan. He wouldn’t, but he wanted to.
“There’s a good chance we’d both go into withdrawal if we did that.”
Sighing, he leaned his head back against the window. “I was willing to risk it for myself. I didn’t want to admit that I might be risking it for you.”
“I’m a big girl. I should be able to watch out for myself. And I will, starting now.”
“Will you be okay?”
“Maybe not immediately, but eventually.”
He groaned. “I don’t want you to hurt, Tyler. I never wanted that.”
“I’ll get over it.”
“I know it’s not an excuse, but Crystal didn’t seem to suffer much when she left, and I…I made the mistake of thinking you had the same ability to cut a guy out of your life without agonizing over it.”
“Because I’m a party girl?”
“You’re not a party girl. I know that. But you’re used to having lots of people around, and I thought…never mind what I thought.”
“That having all those people around, I wouldn’t miss you?”
“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s exactly what I thought. I hope someday you can forgive me.”
“Oh, Alex, I already have.”
He suspected she might be on the verge of tears, which made him really want to hold her. But he no longer trusted his own motives.
“We should get going,” she said. “It would be very bad if we ran out of gas again.”