"No," he said, his voice rising for the first time. The sound startled her, slowing her thoughts, if only for an instant. "I came here because I owed you."
"You owed me?" She blinked. "What does that even mean?"
"The photo… it saved me."
Though she heard him plainly, she couldn't comprehend the words. She waited for more, and in the steady silence that followed, she realized she found them… chilling somehow. The hairs on her arms prickled, and she took another step back. "Who are you?" she hissed. "What do you want from me?"
"I don't want anything. And you know who I am."
"No, I don't! I don't know anything about you!"
"Let me explain…"
"Then explain why if this was all so pure and true that you didn't tell me about the photograph when you first came here!" she shouted, her voice echoing in the room. In her mind's eye, she saw Drake and all the details of the night the photo was taken. She pointed a finger at him. "Why didn't you say, 'I found this in Iraq and I figured you might want it back'? Why didn't you tell me when we were talking about Drake?"
"I don't know…"
"It wasn't your photo to keep! Don't you get that? It wasn't meant for you! It was for my brother, not for you! It was his and you had no right to keep it from me!"
Logan's voice was almost a whisper. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
Her eyes bored into him, piercing him with the force of her rage.
"This whole thing is a sham, isn't it? You found this photo and came up with some… twisted fantasy in which you could play the starring role. You played me from the moment we met! You took your time to find out what you could do to make it seem like you were the perfect guy for me. And you thought that because you were obsessed with me, you could trick me into falling in love with you."
She saw Logan flinch at her words, and she went on.
"You planned all this from the very beginning! It's sick and it's wrong and I can't believe I fell for it."
He rocked back slightly on his heels, stunned by her words.
"I admit that I wanted to meet you," he said, "but you're wrong about the reason. I didn't come here to trick you into falling in love with me. I know it sounds crazy, but I came to believe that the photograph kept me safe from harm and that… I owed you somehow, even if I didn't know what that meant or what would come of it. But I didn't plan anything after I got here. I took the job, and then I fell in love with you."
Her expression didn't soften as he spoke. Instead, she slowly began to shake her head.
"Can you even hear what you're saying?"
"I knew you wouldn't believe it. That's why I didn't tell you-"
"Don't try to justify your lies! You got caught up in some sick fantasy and you won't even admit it."
"Stop calling it that!" he shouted back. "You're the one who's not listening. You're not even trying to understand what I'm saying!"
"Why should I try to understand? You've been lying to me since the beginning. You've been using me since the beginning."
"I haven't used you," he said, forcing his back straight, regaining his composure. "And I didn't lie about the photo. I just didn't tell you about it because I didn't know how to tell you in a way that wouldn't make you think I was crazy."
She raised her hands. "Don't even think of blaming this on me. You're the one who lied! You're the one who kept secrets! I told you everything! I gave my heart to you! I let my son become attached to you!" she shouted. As she went on, her voice broke and she could feel the tears beginning to form. "I went to bed with you because I thought you were someone I could trust. But now I know that I can't. Can you imagine how that makes me feel? To know this whole thing was some sort of charade?"
His voice was soft. "Please, Elizabeth… Beth.;. just listen."
"I don't want to listen! I've already been lied to enough."
"Don't be like this."
"You want me to listen?" she screamed. "Listen to what? That you obsessed over a picture and came to find me because you believe it kept you safe? That's insane, and the most disturbing thing is, you don't even recognize that your explanation only makes you sound psychotic!"
He stared at her, and she saw his jaw clench shut.
She felt a shudder run through her. She was done with this. Done with him. "I want it back," she gritted out. "I want the photo that I gave to Drake."
When he didn't respond, she reached over to the window ledge and grabbed a small flower pot. She threw it at him, shouting, "Where is it? I want it!"
Logan ducked as the pot whizzed overhead and crashed into the wall behind him. For the first time, Zeus barked in confusion.
"It's not yours!" she shouted.
Logan stood straight again. "I don't have it."
"Where is it?" she demanded
Logan paused before answering. "I gave it to Ben," he admitted. Her eyes narrowed. "Get out."
Logan paused before finally moving toward the door. Beth stepped away, keeping her distance from him. Zeus swiveled his gaze from Logan to Beth and back again before padding slowly after Logan.
At the door, Logan stopped and turned toward her. "I swear on my life I didn't come here to fall in love with you, or try to make you fall in love with me. But I did." She stared at him. "I told you to go and I meant it." With that, he turned and strode out into the storm.
Chapter 29
Thibault
Despite the rain, Thibault couldn't imagine going back to his house. He wanted to be outside; it didn't feel right to be warm and dry. He wanted to purge himself of what he had done, of all the lies he had told.
She'd been right: He hadn't been honest with her. Despite the hurt he felt at some of the things she'd said and her unwillingness to listen, she had been justified in feeling betrayed. But how to explain? He didn't fully understand why he'd come, even when he tried to put it into words. He could see why she interpreted his actions as those of an obsessed madman. And, yes, he was obsessed, just not in the way she imagined.
He should have told her about the photograph as soon as he'd arrived, and he struggled to remember why he hadn't done so. Odds were, she would have been surprised and asked a few questions, but it would have ended at that. He suspected that Nana would have hired him anyway, and then none of this would have happened.
More than anything, he wanted to turn around and go back to her. He wanted to explain, to tell his whole story from the beginning.
He wouldn't, though. She needed time alone-or at least time from him- Time to recover and maybe, just maybe, understand that the Thibault she'd come to care for was the only Thibault there was. He wondered whether time alone would bring forgiveness.
Thibault sank in the mud; he noted as a car passed slowly that the water reached its axles. Up ahead, he saw the river stretching across the road. He decided to cut through the woods. Perhaps this would be the last time he would make this walk. Perhaps it t was time to return to Colorado.
Thibault moved forward. The autumn foliage, still hanging on provided partial cover from the rain, and as he walked deeper into the woods, he felt the distance between them grow with each step he took.
Chapter 30
Beth
Freshly showered, Beth was standing in her bedroom in an oversize T-shirt when Nana peeked her head in.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Nana said. She jerked her thumb toward the window. "The school called to tell me you were on your way home. The principal seemed a little worried about you, and later I saw you pull up to the office. I figured the two of you were having a spat."
"It's more than a spat, Nana," Beth said, her tone weary.
"That I gathered from the fact that he left. And that you stayed on the porch so long afterwards."
Beth nodded.
"Was it about Ben? He didn't hurt him, did he? Or you?"
"No, nothing like that," Beth said. "Good. Because that's the one thing that can't be fixed."
"I'm not sure this can, either."
Nana stared out the window before heaving a great sigh. "I take it I'll have to feed the dogs tonight, huh?"
Beth shot her a look of annoyance. "Thanks for being so understanding"
"Kitty cats and maple trees," she said with a wave of her hand.
Beth thought about it before finally grunting in frustration. "What does that mean?"
"It means nothing, but for a second there, you were too exasperated to feel sorry for yourself."
"You don't understand…"
"Try me," she said.
Beth looked up. "He stalked me, Nana. For five years, and then he trekked across the country to search for me. He was obsessed."
Nana was uncharacteristically silent. "Why don't you start from the beginning," she suggested, taking a seat on Beth's bed.
Beth wasn't sure she wanted to talk about it, but she figured it was better to get it over with. She began by recounting Keith's visit to her classroom, and over the next twenty minutes, she told Nana about her abrupt departure from school, her agonizing un-certainty, and ended with her confrontation with Logan. When she finished, Nana folded her hands together in her lap.
"So Thibault admitted he had the picture? And-in your words-babbled about it being a lucky charm and claimed that he came here because he felt that he owed you something?"
Beth nodded. "Pretty much."
"What did he mean by it being a lucky charm?"
"I don't know."
"You didn't ask?"
"I didn't care, Nana. The whole thing is… creepy and weird. Who would do something like that?"
Nana's eyebrows knit together. "I'll admit it sounds strange, but I think I would have wanted to know why he believed it was a lucky charm."
"Why does that matter?"
"Because you weren't there," she emphasized. "You didn't go through the things he did. Maybe he was telling the truth." Beth winced. "The picture isn't a lucky charm. That's crazy."
"Maybe," Nana responded, "but I've been around long enough to know that strange things happen in war. Soldiers come to believe all sorts of things, and if they think something keeps the safe, what's the harm?"
Beth exhaled. "It's one thing to believe it. It's entirely different to become obsessed with a photograph and stalk the subject." '
Nana put a hand on Beth's knee. "Everyone acts crazy at times."
"Not like this," Beth insisted. There's something scary about this." -
Nana was quiet before letting out a sigh.' You might be right."
She shrugged;
Beth studied Nana's face, suddenly overcome with exhaustion. "Will you do me a favor?"
"What is it?"
"Will you call the principal and ask him to bring Ben home after school? I don't want you driving in this weather, but I'm not really up to doing it myself."
Chapter 31
Clayton
Clayton tried and failed to negotiate the lake that had formed in front of Beth's house, his boots disappearing into the mud. He stifled the urge to issue a string of profanities. He could see the windows open near the front door, and he knew that Nana would hear him. Despite her age, the woman had the hearing of an owl, and the last thing he wanted to do was make a poor impression. The woman already disliked him enough.
He climbed the steps and knocked on the door. He thought he heard someone moving inside, saw Beth's face in the window, and finally watched as the door swung open.
"Keith? What are you doing here?"
"I was worried," he said. "I wanted to make sure everything was okay."
"It's fine," she said.
"Is he still here? Do you want me to talk to him?"
"No. He's gone. I don't know where he is."
Clayton shuffled his feet, trying to look contrite, i'm sorry about this, and I hate that I had to be the one to tell you. I know you really liked him."
Beth nodded, her lips pursed…
"I also wanted to tell you not to be so hard on yourself. Like I mentioned earlier, people like that… they've learned to hide it. They're sociopaths, and there's no way you could have known." Beth crossed her arms. "I don't want to talk about it." Clayton held up his hands, knowing he'd pushed too hard, knowing he had to backtrack. "I figured. And you're right. It's not my place, especially given the crappy way I've treated you in the past." He tucked his thumb into his belt and forced a smile. "I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay."
"I'm fine. And thanks."
Clayton turned to leave, then stopped. "I want you to know that from what Ben said, Thibault seemed like a nice guy." She looked up in surprise.
"I just wanted to tell you that, because had it been different- had anything happened to Ben-Thibault would have regretted the day he was born. I would die before I let anything happen to our son. And I know you feel the same way. That's why you're such a great mom. In a life where I've made a ton of mistakes, one of the best things I've done is to let you raise him."
She nodded, trying to stop the tears, and turned away. When she swiped at her eyes, Clayton took a step toward her.
"Hey," he said, his voice soft. "I know you don't want to hear this now, but trust me, you did the right thing. And in time, you're going to find someone, and I'm sure he's going to be the best guy ever. You deserve that."
Her breath hiccuped, and Clayton reached out for her. Instinctively, she leaned into him. "It's okay," he whispered, and for a long moment, they stood on the porch, their bodies close together as he held her.
Clayton didn't stay long. There was no need, he thought: He'd accomplished what he'd set out to do. Beth now saw him as the kind, caring, and compassionate friend, someone who'd atoned for his sins. The hug was just the icing on the cake-nothing he'd planned, but a nice conclusion to their encounter.
He wouldn't press her. That would be a mistake. She needed some time to get over Thigh-bolt. Even if he was a sociopath, even if the guy left town, feelings aren't turned on and off like a switch. But they would pass as surely as the rain would continue to fell. Next step: to make sure that Thigh-bolt was on his way back to Colorado.