By Thursday, he was debating whether to drop by her cottage. He wanted to and had once even reached for hiskeys, but in the end he’d stopped because he had no idea what to say once he got there. Nor could he predict howshe might respond. Would she smile? Or be nervous? Would she invite him inside or ask him to leave? As muchas he tried to imagine what might happen, he couldn’t, and he’d ended up putting the keys aside.
It was complicated. But then again, he reminded himself, she was a mysterious woman.
It didn’t take long before Katie admitted that the bicycle was a godsend. Not only was she able to come homebetween her shifts on the days she pulled doubles, but for the first time, she felt as though she could really beginto explore the town, which was exactly what she did. On Tuesday, she visited a couple of antique stores, enjoyedthe watercolor seascapes at a local art gallery, and rode through neighborhoods, marveling at the broadsweeping porches and porticos adorning the historic homes near the waterfront. On Wednesday, she visited thelibrary and spent a couple of hours browsing the shelves and reading the flaps of books, loading the bicyclebaskets with novels that interested her.
In the evenings, though, as she lay in bed reading the books she’d checked out, she sometimes found herthoughts drifting to Alex. Sifting through her memories, those from Altoona, she realized he reminded her of herfriend Callie’s father. In her sophomore year in high school, Callie had lived down the street from her and thoughthey didn’t know each other that well—Callie was a couple of years younger—Katie could remember sitting on herporch steps every Saturday morning. Like clockwork, Callie’s dad would open the garage, whistling as he rolledthe lawn mower into place. He was proud of his yard—it was easily the most manicured in the neighborhood—andshe’d watch as he pushed the mower back and forth with military precision. He stopped every so often to move afallen branch out of the way, and in those moments, he would wipe his face with a handkerchief he kept in hisback pocket. When he was finished, he would lean against the hood of the Ford in his driveway, sipping a glass oflemonade that his wife always brought to him. Sometimes, she would lean on the car alongside him, and Katiewould smile as she saw him pat his wife’s hip whenever he wanted to get her attention.
There was something contented in the way he sipped his drink and touched his wife that made her think hewas satisfied with the life he was leading and that all his dreams had somehow been fulfilled. Often, as Katiestudied him, she wondered how her life would have been had she been born into that family.
Alex had the same air of contentment about him when his kids were around. Somehow he not only had beenable to move past the tragedy of losing his wife but had done so with enough strength to help his kids move pastthe loss as well. When he’d spoken about his wife, Katie had listened for bitterness or self-pity, but there hadn’tbeen any. There’d been sorrow, of course, and a loneliness in his expression as he spoke of her, but at the sametime, he’d told Katie about his wife without making her feel like he’d been comparing the two of them. He seemedto accept her, and though she wasn’t sure exactly when it had happened, she realized that she was attracted tohim.
Beyond that, her feelings were complicated. Not since Atlantic City had she lowered her guard enough to letsomeone else get so close, and that ended up being a nightmare. But as hard as she’d tried to remain aloof, itseemed that every time she saw Alex, something happened to draw them together. Sometimes by accident, likewhen Josh fell in the river and she’d stayed with Kristen, but sometimes it seemed almost preordained. Like thestorm rolling in. Or Kristen wandering out and pleading with her to come to the beach. To this point, she’d hadenough sense to volunteer little about herself, but that was the thing. The more time she spent with Alex, the moreshe had the sense that he knew far more than he was letting on, and it frightened her. It made her feel nak*d andvulnerable and it was part of the reason she’d avoided going to the store at all this week. She needed time tothink, time to decide what, if anything, she was going to do about it.
Unfortunately, she’d spent too much time dwelling on the way the fine lines at the corners of his eyes crinkledwhen he grinned or the graceful way he’d emerged from the surf. She thought about how Kristen would reach forhis hand and the absolute trust Katie saw in that simple gesture. Early on, Jo had said something along the linesthat Alex was a good man, the kind of man who would do the right thing, and though Katie couldn’t claim to knowhim well, her instincts told her he was a man she could trust. That no matter what she told him, he would supporther. That he would guard her secrets and never use what he knew to hurt her.
It was irrational and illogical and it went against everything she’d promised herself when she’d moved here, butshe realized that she wanted him to know her. She wanted him to understand her, if only because she had thestrange sense that he was the kind of man she could fall in love with, even if she didn’t want to.
14
Butterfly hunting.
The notion had popped into his head soon after waking on Saturday morning, even before he’d gonedownstairs to open the store. Strangely, as he’d been pondering the possibilities of what to do with the kids thatday, he’d remembered a project he’d done in the sixth grade. The teacher had asked the students to make aninsect collection. He flashed to a memory of running through a grassy field at recess, chasing after everythingfrom bumblebees to katydids. He was certain that Josh and Kristen would enjoy it, and feeling proud of himself forcoming up with something exciting and original to occupy a weekend afternoon, he sifted through the fishing netshe had in the store, choosing three that were about the right size.
When he told them at lunch, Josh and Kristen were less than enthusiastic about the idea.
“I don’t want to hurt any butterflies,” Kristen protested. “I like butterflies.”
“We don’t have to hurt them. We can let them go.”
“Then why catch them in the first place?”
“Because it’s fun.”
“It doesn’t sound fun. It sounds mean.”
Alex opened his mouth to respond, but he wasn’t sure what to say. Josh took another bite of his grilled cheesesandwich.
“It’s pretty hot already, Dad,” Josh pointed out, talking as he chewed.
“That’s okay. Afterward, we can swim in the creek. And chew with your mouth closed.”
Josh swallowed. “Why don’t we just swim in the creek now?”
“Because we’re going butterfly hunting.”
“Can we go to a movie instead?”
“Yeah!” Kristen said. “Let’s go to a movie.”
Parenting, Alex thought, could be exasperating.
“It’s a beautiful day and we’re not going to spend it sitting inside. We’re going butterfly hunting. And not onlythat, you’re going to enjoy it, okay?”
After lunch, Alex drove them to a field on the outskirts of town that was filled with wildflowers. He handed themtheir nets and sent them on their way, watching as Josh sort of dragged his net while Kristen held hers tuckedagainst her, in much the same way she held her dolls.
Alex took matters into his own hands and jogged ahead of both of them, his net at the ready. Up ahead,fluttering among the wildflowers, he spotted dozens of butterflies. When he got close enough, he swung his net,capturing one. Squatting down, he carefully began to shift the net, allowing the orange and brown colors to showthrough.
“Wow!” he shouted, trying to sound as enthusiastic as he could. “I got one!”
The next thing he knew, Josh and Kristen were peering over his shoulder.
“Be careful with it, Daddy!” Kristen cried.
“I will, baby. Look at how pretty the colors are.”
They leaned in even closer.
“Cool!” Josh shouted, and a moment later, he was off and running, swinging the net with abandon.
Kristen continued to study the butterfly. “What kind is it?”
“It’s a skipper,” Alex said. “But I don’t know exactly what kind.”
“I think he’s scared,” Kristen said.
“I’m sure he’s fine. But I’ll let him go, okay?”
She nodded as Alex carefully pulled the net inside out. In the open air, the butterfly clung to the net beforetaking off in flight. Kristen’s eyes went wide with wonder.
“Can you help me catch one?” she asked.
“I’d love to.”
They spent a little more than an hour running among the flowers. They caught about eight different kinds ofbutterflies, including a buckeye, though the vast majority were skippers like the first. By the time they finished, thekids’ faces were red and shiny, so Alex drove them to get ice cream cones before heading to the creek behind thehouse. The three of them jumped off the dock together—Josh and Kristen wearing life preservers—and floateddownstream in the slow-moving water. It was the kind of day he’d spent as a kid. By the time they got out of thewater, he was contented by the thought that, aside from going to the beach, it was the best weekend they’d had ina while.
But it was tiring, too. Afterward, once the kids had showered, they wanted to watch a movie, and Alex popped in
Homeward Bound, a movie they’d seen a dozen times but were always willing to watch again. From the kitchen, hecould see them on the couch, neither one moving in the slightest, staring at the television in that dazed wayparticular to exhausted children.
He wiped the kitchen counters and loaded the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, started a load of laundry,straightened up the living room, and gave the kids’ bathroom a good scrubbing before finally sitting beside themon the couch for a while. Josh curled up on one side, Kristen on the other. By the time the movie ended, Alexcould feel his own eyelids beginning to droop. After working at the store and playing with the kids and cleaningthe house, it felt good to simply relax for a while.
The sound of Josh’s voice jarred him awake.
“Hey, Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“What’s for dinner? I’m starved.”
From the waitress stand, Katie peered out at the deck and then turned back again, staring as Alex and the kidsfollowed the hostess to an open table near the railing. Kristen smiled and waved as soon as she saw Katie, andhesitated only a second before scooting between the tables and hurtling directly for her. Katie bent down as thelittle girl threw her arms around her.
“We wanted to surprise you!” Kristen said.
“Well, you did. What are you doing here?”
“My dad didn’t want to cook for us tonight.”
“He didn’t?”
“He said he was too tired.”
“There’s more to the story,” Alex announced. “Trust me.”
Katie hadn’t heard him come up, and she stood.
“Oh, hey,” she said, blushing against her will.
“How are you?” Alex asked.
“Good.” She nodded, feeling a bit flustered. “Busy, as you can tell.”
“It seems like it. We had to wait before they could seat us in your section.”
“It’s been like that all day.”
“Well, we won’t keep you. C’mon, Kristen. Let’s go to the table. We’ll see you in a few minutes or wheneveryou’re ready.”
“Bye, Miss Katie.” Kristen waved again.
Katie watched them walk to the table, strangely excited by their visit. She saw Alex open the menu and leanforward to help Kristen with hers, and for an instant, she wished she were sitting with them.
She retucked her shirt and glanced at her reflection in the stainless steel coffeepot. She couldn’t make outmuch, only a blurry image, but it was enough to make her run a hand through her hair. Then, after a quick checkto make sure her shirt hadn’t been stained—nothing she could do about it, of course, but she still wanted to know
—she walked over to the table.
“Hey, guys,” she said, addressing the kids. “I hear your dad didn’t want to cook dinner for you.”
Kristen giggled but Josh simply nodded. “He said he was tired.”
“That’s what I heard,” she said.
Alex rolled his eyes. “Thrown under the bus by my own kids. I just can’t believe it.”
“I wouldn’t throw you under the bus, Daddy,” Kristen said seriously.
“Thank you, sweetie.”
Katie smiled. “Are you thirsty? Can I get you something to drink?”
They ordered sweet teas all around, along with a basket of hush puppies. Kristen brought the drinks to thetable and as she walked away, she felt Alex’s gaze on her. She fought the urge to peek over her shoulder, thoughshe desperately wanted to.
For the next few minutes, she took orders and cleared plates from other tables, delivered a couple of meals,and finally returned with the basket of hush puppies.
“Be careful,” she said. “They’re still hot.”
“That’s when they’re the best,” Josh said, reaching into the basket. Kristen reached for one as well.
“We went butterfly hunting today,” she said.
“You did?”
“Yep. But we didn’t hurt them. We let them go.”
“That sounds like fun. Did you have a good time?”
“It was awesome!” Josh said. “I caught, like, a hundred of them! And then we went swimming.”
“What a great day,” Katie said sincerely. “No wonder your dad is tired.”
“I’m not tired,” both Josh and Kristen said, almost simultaneously.
“Maybe not,” Alex said, “but you’re both still going to bed early. Because your poor old dad needs to go tosleep.”
Katie shook her head. “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” she said. “You’re not poor.”
It took him a moment to realize she was teasing, and he laughed. It was loud enough for the people at the nexttable to notice, though he didn’t seem to care.