"Hmm, well, now, maybe you're not."
It wasn't what Talin had wanted to hear, though she knew it to be the truth.
"But," the healer continued, "Sascha wasn't particularly good for Lucas when they started out, either. There were some damn heated discussions about him falling for a Psy."
Talin kept getting thrown by these leopards. "Really?"
A nod. "In the end, it doesn't make a difference what anyone else thinks. DarkRiver men make up their own minds." The healer's expression grew pensive. "But that doesn't mean I won't poke my nose into it. You should know that - we're crazy protective of our own."
The back door swung open with a bang and one of the teenagers stuck his head inside. "Juice?" His tone was plaintive.
Tamsyn waved a finger as she went to the cooler. "Your debts are adding up, Cory."
"You totally fleeced us on the cookies - Julian and Roman are like demons on crack. Do they ever stop?"
Talin was taken aback by the boy's smile - a bright slash of unvarnished affection. The teenagers she knew never smiled with such absolute and utter trust.
Walking over, Tamsyn put a jug of something cold and almost colorless in his hand, reaching out to muss up his hair at the same time. "You were exactly the same."
"Aw, come on, Tammy. Don't tell baby stories about me in front of a pretty girl."
Talin was about to turn around and look for that girl when she realized he was looking at her. The cocky charm on his face made not smiling impossible. Just like with Jon. Her smile dulled.
"She's way too old for you." Clay's voice was relaxed as he came to stand beside her. "Go play with girls your own age."
Cory took the glasses Tamsyn was holding out. "Hah! I told Kit you were hot for her!" A gleeful look on his face, he backed out the door and jogged to the others.
Feeling her face flush at the boy's estimation of Clay's feelings, she didn't know what to say or where to look. As long as he'd thought of her as a...a slut, she forced herself to think, it had been easy to not examine her own reactions too deeply. Why torment herself with things she couldn't have?
But after the devastating honesty of those minutes in the car, she'd started to wonder if maybe there was hope. He'd been direct in expressing his desire to kiss her, but this confusing need aside, what did she want? She felt no fear when she lay with a man. Worse, there was an absence of emotion. But with Clay...so many feelings, chaos inside her mind, her heart.
Would she feel if he touched her? What if she didn't? Her mind chilled. No way in hell she was letting the ugly isolation of sex taint their new relationship. If they slept together and it made her go to the cold place inside herself, she wouldn't be able to bear it. And Clay would know. It would wound him. She couldn't do that to him.
No, Clay had to remain her friend. Nonsexual. Safe. Forever.
"Hey." His hand touched her lower back, making her jump.
Turning quickly, she faced him. "We should show Tamsyn the autopsy reports while the kids are outside and we can talk without interruption."
Those forest-in-shadow eyes sharpened. "That's what I just said."
"Oh."
"What's going on in that head of yours? Your scent's not right."
It disconcerted her to be in the presence of people who could taste her sweat, her fear, her absolute terror at the thought of messing up this relationship. "It's not right anyway, remember?" If nothing else, she thought with bitter humor, the insidious disease eating away at her mind was good as an excuse.
Frown lines marred his forehead. "This is different."
"The reports."
"I already gave them to her." He nodded at the huge kitchen table behind her.
She turned to find Tamsyn leafing through the pages. Nate stood close by, gripping the back of her chair. "Tammy's not seeing anything obvious," he said, looking up, "but it might help if Talin went over the reports with her."
"Sure. At least I'll be able to split the injuries up into new and old." It would rip her to pieces but she needed to do this - for Jon, perhaps for other lost children they didn't yet know about.
"While you do that," Clay told her, eyes disturbingly intent on her expression, "we're going to see if we can pick up Jon's trail. We'll start from where you lost the scent."
Having already given him the location, she nodded. "Thank you." It was all she could trust herself to say without betraying the turbulence threatening to take her under. After a pregnant pause, she walked to the table and sat down facing Tamsyn.
The healer tilted her head to kiss her mate good-bye and Talin looked away, ashamed to be in the presence of something so beautiful. She had once been loved, she knew that. Clay had loved her. And look what she'd done.
Then a big male hand was touching the back of her head and she was looking up, startled. The kiss he brushed over her lips caught her breath, blew her confusion to shreds. His skin was a little rough, his mouth pure demand...and his kiss so right it hurt. He was out the door a second later. She raised trembling fingers to her lips, more than a little afraid of the strength of the feelings he'd aroused.
"You want to talk about it?" Tamsyn's voice was gentle but it broke the spell.
She dropped her hand, wanting to hide away the memory where no one could steal it from her. "Talk about what?"
The healer shook her head. "When you're ready, I'll be here. Now, tell me about this boy."
Talin looked at the file Tamsyn had spread out in the middle of the table. It was Mickey's. Rage hit her in a violent rush and she had to close her eyes for long seconds to compose herself. When she opened them, she found Tamsyn putting a cup of hot chocolate in front of her.