It made her gut knot, because it could all go really wonderfully, but it could also go very, very wrong, and any protection she currently enjoyed because she was viewed as deficient could evaporate if the truth were known.
Graeme set her down in front of the fire, and then he held up the fur that Rorie had set out to warm. She glanced quickly up, not wanting to miss a single thing that Graeme said.
“I’ll hold up the fur and you can unwrap the blanket from you and then wrap yourself in this until you’re dry and warm enough to dress.”
She could see the discomfort in his face and it made her curious. Did he not view her as a woman? That couldn’t be the issue at all. He’d kissed her. He’d responded to her as a man does a woman. She’d seen her parents kiss. She’d seen others in her clan exchange passionate embraces. What she and Graeme had shared had certainly rocked her to her bones.
Perhaps he didn’t want to see her as a woman. Perhaps he didn’t even want her as a wife. There was no perhaps there. It was obvious he hadn’t wanted a wife and he likely hadn’t changed his mind on that account.
But neither of them had been given a choice in the matter and in Eveline’s mind it was better to make the best of a bad situation. She liked Graeme. The more time she spent in his presence, the more she grew to like and even respect the man he was.
He’d been kind to her and he’d shown her understanding. Any man who could do that with the daughter of his most hated enemy was not an evil man.
Slowly she let the blanket fall away and Graeme hastily pressed the fur to her. She smiled and tucked it underneath her arms and then held it around her as she sat back down on the bench. Then she patted the place beside her, hoping that he, too, would take a seat and dry in front of the fire.
“I need to take off these wet clothes,” he said.
She nodded and turned, because it was obvious he was uncomfortable undressing in her presence. But she couldn’t help keeping enough of an angle so she could see him in her periphery.
She was extremely curious about her husband’s body and she wanted to see him. She’d never seen a man fully naked before.
She held her breath when he quickly stripped out of his tunic and his leggings. He turned sideways as he reached for dry clothing from the trunk at the foot of his bed.
He was … She wasn’t sure she had the words to adequately convey her awe or admiration. He had a warrior’s body, but it was … beautiful.
Thick legs, heavily muscled, as were his arms and broad shoulders. At the juncture of his legs was a dark whorl of hair and his manhood … She swallowed nervously, not wanting to be caught out staring, but she was fascinated by that particular portion of his anatomy.
She knew enough of the whole mating process to know what went where, but she couldn’t wrap her mind around how. It looked way too large to ever fit inside her, and as much as she wanted to be a true wife and consummate their marriage, she couldn’t imagine that it could be done without considerable pain and effort on her part.
Still, such a step was important if she was to be a true wife to Graeme and she wanted that. Wanted his acceptance and eventually his clan’s acceptance, if they could ever reach that point. She didn’t want to forever be the wife that Graeme Montgomery was saddled with, nothing more than a penance he had to pay for forced peace with her father’s clan.
She quickly forced her gaze forward when Graeme finished dressing, and a moment later, he settled onto the seat beside her before the fire.
She glanced up at him, not wanting to miss anything he would say, but he remained silent, his gaze focused on the flames.
Perhaps she should kiss him again. She certainly wanted to, but was nervous about how receptive he’d be now that she no longer had the element of surprise.
She licked her lips in anticipation and continued to stare up at him.
As if feeling the force of her gaze, he turned in her direction. His brown eyes glowed from the light of the fire and he seemed to study her, almost as if weighing his thoughts and words.
“I do not know what to do with you, Eveline Armstrong.”
She could feel the resignation in the way he held his body and the expression on his face. She frowned, not liking the implications of such a statement.
“I know not if what I am feeling is right and I do not like the guilt that plagues me for enjoying our kiss as I did.”
She smiled then, her heart suddenly lighter than it had been just moments before. She felt suddenly shy and would have averted her gaze, but knew it was too important to be able to see whatever he would say next.
Then she reached up to touch his chin, slowly moving her fingers over his lips. He closed his eyes, seeming to find pleasure in her touch. Before he could reopen them, she rose up to press her mouth against his.
The fur fell partially away from her body, but she paid it no heed as her lips covered the firm line of his mouth. She wanted to taste him again, to take his tongue inside again and feel it against her own.
His breath vibrated against her lips as he let out a sigh. Of resignation? Of surrender? She knew not, only that his mouth parted and his tongue stroked warmly over hers, returning her kiss in full measure.
There seemed to be no reluctance, no sign that he was fighting this strengthening emotion between them.
It was the sweetest pleasure Eveline had ever experienced. She wanted the moment to last forever, but Graeme was the first to pull away, his eyes half-lidded as he stared down at her.
Gently, he set her away from him. It felt more symbolic than a simple separation, almost as if he were erecting a visible barrier between them or that perhaps he needed the distance.