Worry and possessiveness darken his gaze, as if he wants to grab tight to this moment so it won’t slip away. Tenderness swells in my throat. I lick my lip, now sensitive from his kisses. “I know,” I whisper. “This is big, Gray. But if we’re honest and talk to each other when we’re freaking out, it will be okay.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do.” The blunt tip of his finger runs along my brow and down to my cheek. “Mac?”
“Yeah?” I can’t stop touching him either. His neck. The hard curve of his shoulder. The vein than runs along his inner arm.
“What’s your fantasy?”
I pause my exploration. “What, you mean as in sexual?”
“Yeah.”
Heat washes over my cheeks. “I’m not… No. I can’t tell you that.”
“Why not? You told me in explicit detail how you wanted to be fucked.” He grins wide. “Which was insanely hot, by the way.”
I duck my head, pressing it to his shoulder. “That was different. We were on the phone.”
“I wanted to be in that bed with you so damn badly, Mac. I think I bruised my dick jacking off to your voice.”
A shocked laugh escapes me, and I give his chest a kiss. “I wanted you there too.”
Gray hums again, his big hand smoothing over my head before he eases away to catch my gaze. “So what is it, then? What’s your deep, dark, naughty fantasy?”
“Why do you want to know so badly?”
A little furrow grows between Gray’s brows as he studies me. “I want to give you everything. Every experience you ever dreamed of. And things you never knew you wanted.”
Oh. My breath hitches.
“Come on.” He nuzzles my nose with his. “Tell me, honey.”
I close my eyes. “Okay. It’s nothing dramatic or even very creative. I’m seduced by a stranger.”
“‘Seduced’?” Gray kisses me as if he needs a quick taste. “How so?”
God. So embarrassing. I huff out a breath. “I’m reluctant, you know? But he cajoles, talks me into it. Makes me undress when I don’t want to. And…you know,” I trail off with strangled sound. “Fucks me.”
“Kind of kinky in a subtle way.” There’s a smile in Gray’s voice. “I’m impressed, Mac.”
I open my eyes to glare. “It’s not a rape fantasy. I’m not into violence. I don’t get off on stranger danger. In real life, I’d punch a guy in his throat if he—”
“It’s okay, honey.” He cups my cheeks, his expression open, earnest. “I get it. They’re called fantasies for a reason.” The corners of his mouth curl as heat enters his eyes. “I like yours.”
My response is a grumpy grunt. He chuckles, giving me another light kiss.
My embarrassment fades in the face of his care. “What about you? What’s your deep, dark fantasy?”
Gray flinches as though I’ve surprised him. “Me?”
“Yeah, you.” I frown. It’s as if he never expected me to bother with his needs. “Why shouldn’t we try yours too?”
His touch slides away as his lids lower, hiding his eyes from me. “Nah. I don’t really have one.”
“Bullshit. Everyone has a fantasy.”
The broad line of his shoulders tenses. “Not me.”
I rise to my elbow, leaning my weight on it as I scowl down at him. “You won’t tell me. Unbelievable.” I poke his pecs. It’s like poking a rock. “You don’t trust me.”
At that, Gray’s eyes narrow. “I trust you more than anyone in the world.”
His tone is hard, defensive. He looks so stubborn—his jaw set as if bracing for a fight—that I have to clamp down on my frustration. I won’t force him. Even if it hurts that I confided to him when he refuses to do the same.
Taking a breath, I rest my hand on his arm. “I know it’s hard, but I won’t laugh. I promise.”
Gray refuses to meet my eyes, biting his lip instead as his cheeks pink. “I don’t think you’ll laugh. I just… This particular fantasy, if you can call it that, doesn’t work if I have to ask for it. It’s stupid. I know that. But it’s the truth.” There’s a plea in his eyes. He knows he’s being unfair, yet he’s willing me to understand.
With a sigh I rest my head on my pillow and stare up at him. “Fine. If you can’t ask for it, then I’ll have to figure it out on my own.”
Though his shoulders are still tense, a teasing light comes into his blue eyes. “Give it your best shot, Special Sauce.”
“Let’s see.” It’s something that embarrasses Gray. My options are limited. Gray isn’t shy about sex. I run my finger down the little valley along the center of his chest. His nipples tighten in response, and I grin. “Is it you with another man?”
Gray chuffs out a laugh, but he’s relaxing. “No. Although I can see that interests you.”
“Well…” My finger circles the tiny nub of his nipple. “It would be kind of hot to see.”
His breath hitches, and he cants his hips. His cock, now hard and seeking, presses against my side. “That sounds more like your fantasy than mine, Mac.” A small smile pulls at his mouth as he rests his head on his hand and leans in. “I feel so cheap and used.”
“Mmm…poor baby.” Softly I press a kiss to the crook of his neck where his pulse beats. I love the way his body reacts with a shiver of pleasure and the feel of his big hand smoothing along my hip, as though touching me gives him pleasure as well. Everything is warm and lazy, and that low, sweet ache for him builds. I let it grow slowly, just touching him for now, enjoying the anticipation of having him again.