“Luke said you might find me overwhelming,” I say ruefully, and rub my head, which has started to throb again.
“You should sleep,” Jess says, watching me. “It’s the best healer. And the best painkiller. Here’s a blanket.” She gives me a sheet of something that looks like tinfoil.
“Well… OK,” I say doubtfully. “I’ll try.”
I put my head down in the least uncomfortable place I can find, and close my eyes.
But I can’t sleep. Our conversation is going round and round in my mind, with the lashing rain and flapping of the tent as a sound track.
I’m spoiled. I’m a spoiled brat.
No wonder Luke got pissed off. No wonder our marriage is a catastrophe. It’s all my fault.
Oh God. Suddenly tears are rising in my eyes, which is making my head throb even more. And my neck’s all cricked… and there’s a stone in my back…
“Becky, are you OK?” says Jess.
“Not really,” I admit, my voice all thick and wobbly. “I can’t get to sleep.”
There’s no reply, and I think Jess can’t have heard, or doesn’t have anything to say. But a moment later I feel something next to me. I turn round, and she’s offering me a small white slab.
“It’s not peppermint creams,” she says flatly.
“Wh-What is it?” I falter.
“Kendal Mint Cake. Traditional climbing food.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, and take a bite. It has a weird, sweet taste, and I’m not that keen, but I take a second bite, to show willingness. Then, to my horror, I feel tears starting up again.
Jess sighs, and takes a bite of Kendal Mint Cake herself. “What’s wrong?”
“Luke will never love me again,” I sob.
“I doubt that.”
“It’s true!” My nose is running and I wipe it with my hand. “Ever since we got back from our trip, it’s been a disaster. And it’s all my fault, I’ve ruined everything—”
“It’s not all your fault,” interrupts Jess.
“What?” I gape at her.
“I wouldn’t say it was all your fault,” she says calmly. “It takes two.” She folds up the Kendal Mint Cake wrapper, then unzips her backpack and slips it in. “I mean, talk about obsessed. Luke’s totally obsessed by work!”
“I know he is. But I thought he’d changed. On our honeymoon he was totally laid-back. Everything was perfect. I was so happy.”
Into my mind slips a memory of Luke and me, all brown and carefree. Holding hands. Doing yoga together. Sitting on the terrace in Sri Lanka, planning our surprise return. I had such high hopes. And nothing worked out the way I thought it would.
“You can’t be on honeymoon forever,” points out Jess. “It was bound to be a bit of a crash.”
“But I was so looking forward to being married,” I say with a gulp. “I had this image: we were all going to be sitting round the big wooden table in candlelight. Me, Luke, Suze… Tarquin… everyone happy and laughing… ”
“And what happened?” Jess gives me a shrewd look. “What happened to Suze? Your mum told me she was your best friend.”
“She was. But while I was away she… found someone else.” I focus on the flapping blue canvas, feeling a lump in my throat. “Everyone’s got new friends and new jobs and they’re not interested anymore. I… haven’t got any friends.”
Jess zips up her backpack and pulls the drawstring tight. Then she looks up.
“You’ve got me.”
“You don’t even like me,” I say dolefully.
“Well, I’m your sister,” says Jess. “I’ve got to put up with you, haven’t I?”
I raise my head, and there’s a glimmer of humor in her eyes. And warmth. A warmth I don’t think I’ve ever seen before.
After a pause, I say, “You know, Luke wants me to be just like you.”
“Yep. Right.”
“It’s true! He wants me to be thrifty and frugal.” I put the rest of my Kendal Mint Cake down behind a rock, hoping Jess won’t notice. “Will you teach me?”
“Teach you. To be frugal.”
“Yes! Please.”
Jess rolls her eyes.
“For a start, if you’re going to be frugal, you won’t throw away a perfectly good piece of Kendal Mint Cake.”
“Oh. Right.” A bit shamefaced, I pick it up and take a bite. “Er… yummy!”
The wind is whistling with even more force, and the tent is flapping faster and faster. I pull Jess’s tinfoil blanket around me tighter, wishing for the millionth time I’d brought a cardigan. Or even a cagoule. Then all of a sudden I remember something. I reach into the pocket of my skirt — and I don’t believe it. The little lump is still there.