“What rules?” Kristy said, reaching for the keys.
Delia shifted them out of her reach, holding them out to me instead. “And Macy drives. Period. No argument.”
“Fine,” Kristy said. “Let’s just do it, okay?”
She turned on her heel and started down the driveway, bouncing a bit with each step. Even from a distance, you could-n’t help but watch her: maybe it was the boots or the hair or the short skirt, but somehow to me it was something else. Something so electric, alive, that I recognized it instantly, if only because it was so lacking in myself.
Delia was watching her, too, a resigned expression on her face, before turning her attention back to me. “If you want a job, it’s yours,” she said, dropping the keys into my hand. “Payday’s every other Friday, and you’ll usually know your schedule a week in advance. You’ll want to invest in a few pairs of black pants and some white shirts, if you don’t have a few already, and we don’t work on Mondays. There’s probably more you need to know but we’re off to a rocky start here, so I’ll fill you in later. Okay?”
“Sounds good,” I said.
Kristy, already halfway down the driveway, turned her head and looked up at us. “Hey, Macy!” she yelled. “Let’s go!”
Delia shook her head, pulling the screen door open. “Which is to say,” she said to me, “welcome aboard.”
At the library, I’d had two weeks of training. Here, it was two minutes.
“What’s most important,” Kristy said to me, as we stood side by side at the counter, piling mini ham biscuits onto trays, “is that you identify what you’re carrying and keep all crumpled-up napkins off your tray. No one will pick up anything and stick it in their mouth if it’s next to a dirty napkin.”
I nodded, and she continued.
“Here’s what you need to remember,” she continued, as Delia bustled past behind us, putting down another sheet of meatballs. “You don’t exist. Just hold out your tray, smile, say, ‘Ham biscuits with Dijon mustard’ and move on. Try to be invisible.”
“Right,” I said.
“What she means,” Delia clarified from the stove, “is that as a server, it’s your job to blend in and make the partygoer’s experience as enjoyable as possible. You are not attending the event: you are facilitating it.”
Kristy handed me the tray of ham biscuits, plunking down a stack of napkins on its edge. This close to her, I still found my eyes wandering to her scars, but slowly I was getting used to them, my eyes drawn now and then to other things: the glitter on her skin, the two tiny silver hoops in each of her ears. “Work the edge of the room first. If you cross paths with a gobbler, pause for only a second, then smile and keep moving, even if they’re reaching after you.”
“Gobbler?” I said.
“That’s someone who will clear your whole tray if you let them. Here’s the rule: two and move. When they reach for a third, you’re gone.”
“Two and move,” I said. “Right.”
“If they don’t let you move on,” she continued, “then they cross over to grabber status, which is completely out-of-line behavior. Then you are wholly within your rights to stomp on their foot.”
“No,” Delia said, over her shoulder. “Actually, you’re not. Just excuse yourself as politely as possible, and get out of arm’s reach.”
Kristy looked at me, shaking her head. “Stomp them,” she said, under her breath. “Really.”
The kitchen was bustling, Delia moving from the huge stove to the counter, Monica unwrapping one foil tray after another, revealing the salmon, steaks, whipped potatoes. There was a crackling energy in the air, as if everything was on a higher speed than normal, the total opposite of the info desk. If I’d wanted something other than silence, I’d surely found it. In spades.
“If there are old people,” Kristy said now, glancing at the door, “make sure you go to them, especially if they’re sitting down. People notice when Grandma’s starving. Watch the room, keep an eye on who’s eating and who’s not. If you’ve done a full walk of the room and the goat cheese currant stuffed celery sticks aren’t finding any takers, don’t keep walking around.”
“Goat cheese currant?” I said.
Kristy nodded gravely.
“It was just one time, one job!” Delia hissed from behind us. “I wish you all would just let that go. God!”
“If something sucks,” Kristy said, “it sucks. When in doubt, grab some meatballs and get back out there. Everybody loves meatballs.”
“What time is it?” Delia asked, as the oven shut with a bang. “Is it seven?”
“Six forty-five,” Kristy told her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “We need to get out there.”
I picked up my tray, then stood still while Kristy adjusted one biscuit that was close to falling off the edge. “You ready?” she asked me.
I nodded.
She pushed the door open with one hand, and some people standing nearby waiting for drinks at the bar turned and looked at us, their eyes moving immediately to the food. Invisible, I thought. After all the attention of the last year or so, I was pretty sure I could get used to that. So I lifted my tray up, squared my shoulders, and headed in.
Thirty minutes later, I’d discovered a few things. First, everybody does love meatballs. Second, most gobblers position themselves right by the door, where they have first dibs on anything you bring out, and if you try to sidestep them, they quickly move into grabber mode, although I’d yet to have to stomp anyone. And it’s true: you are invisible. They’ll say anything with you standing there. Anything.