I arched a brow, knowing I hadn’t really done that good. Frankly, I’d acted like a giant baby. “A reward?”
Roth nodded and then leaned down, kissing me, and not just a quick peck on the lips, either. All my senses refocused solely on him. I didn’t even feel the dull ache along my stomach. His hand slipped to my chin, holding me in place as he deepened the kiss and I got to check out that bolt in his tongue.
Oh, that kiss... It made me think of other things—things that weren’t entirely appropriate when it came to where we were and the fact that the day yawned wide-open in front of us. Last night, after we talked about the familiar, we’d been too drained to do anything but sleep, and now I was wishing we had used that private time more wisely. We needed to get a move on it, as there was really important stuff that needed to get done, but my body flushed and I reached up, wrapping my hand around the back of his head, threading my fingers through his messy hair.
“Don’t mind me,” Cayman said. “I’m not here. Nope. I’m not the awkward third party, having to witness you two eat each other’s face.”
Lifting his head, Roth cast a dark look in Cayman’s direction while I just sat there, enjoying the aftereffects of the kiss. “You know, you could’ve simply left.”
“Don’t bring logic into this conversation,” he said, standing. When I looked at him, I saw that the tattoo gun was gone. He winked at me as I tugged my shirt down. “Like Roth said, don’t be surprised if your familiar doesn’t move around much at first. He’s basically sleeping, but when he’s ready and he senses you’re in any kind of danger, he’s probably going to come off.”
I nodded and then scooted off the chair, standing. I didn’t feel exactly different now that I had my own familiar, but I was a bit excited to see Robin in the flesh for the first time.
Now it was time to hit the streets. There was a good chance that since the Lilin had shown up yesterday, it would again today, but we would be prepared this time. We had to be.
Cayman backed up to the desk and leaned against it, crossing his arms. “Before you guys leave, can you do me a favor, Roth?”
“Depends,” he drawled.
“You have a book upstairs—the one about lesser demons. Can I borrow that?”
Roth raised a brow. “Yeah. When have you ever asked before?”
“I’m turning over a new leaf.”
Amber eyes narrowed on Cayman. “You can borrow it.”
“Can you grab it for me?”
Roth stared at him.
“I’m le tired,” Cayman said, mimicking a French accent I’d heard on a YouTube video once. “Plus, I don’t want to pop in later and get it if you and Layla are in there, engaged in shenanigans, because then you’d have to hurt me if I saw her lady bits and—”
“Okay,” Roth cut him off, scrubbing his fingers through his hair, irritated. “Just stop talking.”
Cayman smiled.
Muttering under his breath, Roth walked toward the door, and then disappeared. I blinked, hating when they did that. Resisting the urge to pat my now-tattooed belly, I kept my hands at my sides. “That was a strange request.”
“I really don’t want the book. Reading is so boring,” he replied, pushing off the table.
I frowned. “Then why—”
“We don’t have a lot of time. I went into the loft this morning and shoved that book behind a bunch of other dusty books that looked boring as Hell, but he’ll be down here in a few moments,” he explained. “I got word last night that Grim returned early to Hell. He’s there.”
At first, all I could do was stare at Cayman. Grim—the Grim Reaper—was back in Hell, the only being that could release Sam’s soul. Excitement and dread exploded like a rocket inside me. I could finally do something for Sam, but I also knew this wasn’t going to be easy.
“If you’re ready to go down there, I’d suggest you do it soon in case Grim changes his plans,” he went on. “And I hear he’s in a good mood. So now would be a great time to beg and plead. Because that’s all you really have to offer him, right? Your begging?”
I blinked. “That’s all I can think of. He’s the Grim, and if he spends part of his time in Heaven, he can’t really be all evil.”
“So you’re hoping you can appeal to his innate sense of goodness and justice?” he asked, and when I nodded, he laughed. “Oh, Loopy Layla, you are so cute.”
Folding my arms, I exhaled loudly. “What else do I have to offer him? If you have a suggestion, it would be helpful.”
“I don’t.” He flicked a blond lock out of his face as he shrugged. “Truth is, I don’t even know what Grim could want in return or if he’d want anything at all. You’ll just have to find out. Are you still wanting to do this?”
In the back of my head, I fully recognized what a horrible idea this was turning out to be. Who was I to waltz into Hell and demand that what was virtually the angel of death do something, but what other choice did I have? I couldn’t risk Roth doing it, knowing that if he went into Hell right now, he might not come back out, and I couldn’t leave Sam in there. I couldn’t be complacent and I had to try something.
“I’m in,” I said, and my nerves stretched tight.
He inclined his head and the typical playfulness was gone from his expression. “When?”
My heart was pounding as I glanced at the door. Being in Hell was going to be as dangerous as walking across the beltway during rush hour. So many things could go wrong, and if I left right now, Roth popping out of this room could possibly be the last time I saw him. The texts I had with Stacey could be our last correspondence ever, and when I saw Zayne yesterday, that could be the last time. Having another couple of hours or days wasn’t going to fix anything with Zayne, but it would give me time to see Stacey and it would give me time with Roth to...
To squeeze a forever into a few short hours.
To experience everything we hadn’t yet explored before we lost the chance.
“Can I have tonight?” I asked.
Cayman eyed me and then nodded. “Meet me in the lobby in the morning. Make the most of today. Anything is possible tomorrow.”
thirteen
THAT EVENING, I stood in the bathroom of Roth’s loft and stared at my reflection. My face was flushed, eyes way too big, as usual, and nothing really looked that different about me. But I felt different. Older somehow, and I wasn’t sure what had sparked that.
Outside of the bathroom, I could hear Roth moving around and the soft hum of the TV was comforting. I glanced at the door, and my heart turned into a sledgehammer. It wasn’t until the moment Cayman told me that Grim was back in Hell that it really slammed into me that I was going to go traipsing into Hell to talk to the Grim Reaper. Cayman didn’t need to warn me that it would be dangerous. I knew it would be. Anything could go wrong, and tonight could be my last night with Roth.
I wanted—no, needed—to be close to him tonight.
If something went wrong tomorrow, I wanted to experience as much as I could before then. I wanted to experience Roth. It wasn’t a decision I took lightly. I’d been obsessing over it all day while we roamed the streets, coming up empty-handed. What I wanted from tonight was a big deal. While Roth and I had done things, we hadn’t done that one thing, and I assumed the nervousness I felt was normal. Roth had way more experience than me when it came to this, but as my gaze shifted back to the mirror, I knew I was ready. I just hoped I... I didn’t embarrass myself. That he didn’t think I was naive or had no idea what I was doing¸ because I seriously had no idea what I was doing in this arena.
My gaze dipped to the straps on my camisole and my skin heated in a flash. When I entered the bathroom, I’d been fully clothed. Of course. But now my jeans and the sweater I wore were folded on the rim of the bathtub, and shoved in between them was my bra. The material of the cami was thin, so much so that I didn’t need to look down to know exactly what could and could not be seen. And I didn’t need the tiny chill bumps racing up and down my legs to remind me that while my undies weren’t exactly skimpy, they sure as heck didn’t cover all that much. I’d never roamed undressed like this, and I had no idea what my butt looked like in these undies and I really didn’t want to know.
I wiggled my toes on the cool tile floor.
“I can do this,” I whispered at my reflection. “I am a badass hybrid...not a donkey...creature. With feathered wings. That are pretty and weird. I can do this.”
My pep talk wasn’t helping.
I just needed to open the door and walk my confident booty out into the bedroom, grab Roth by the shoulders, toss him onto the bed total She-Ra style, and get down to business.
I frowned.
Well, none of that sounded exactly romantic, and really, I just needed to walk out of this room without looking like a total idiot. Forget everything else. Tugging my hair over my shoulders, I took a deep breath, threw up a little in my mouth, and then turned to the door, yanking it nearly off its hinges as I hauled it open.
I took two steps and then stopped.
Roth was standing in front of the bed, staring at the TV with his arm extended, remote in his hand. He glanced in my direction and froze.