“Why didn’t you tell us that was what you were going to do?” she asked quietly, holding a smile as if nothing was wrong.
I did the same as I answered. “I thought it would be good. That’s what Dad did.”
“Yes, but he did it on a much smaller scale and privately. You put their shame on display. No one will admire you for that.”
I huffed. “I’m sorry. Really. I didn’t realize.”
She put an arm around me. “I don’t mean to be hard on you. We know you’re trying.” Just then a photographer came up to get a candid photo of us talking. I wondered what the headline for that one would be? Something about the Selected teaching the Selector maybe.
“What am I supposed to do now?”
She looked around the room, double-checking that no one could hear. “Just . . . consider a little romance. Nothing scandalous, for goodness’ sake,” she added quickly. “But watching you fall in love . . . that’s what the people want to see.”
“I can’t make that happen. I can’t—”
“America, dear,” Dad called. It looked like Osten had spilled something on himself, and Mom rushed over to lead him away.
I would have bet money that whatever just happened was a deliberate attempt on Osten’s part to get out of the room.
I stood there alone, trying to be inconspicuous as I scanned the room. Too many strangers. Too many eyes watching and waiting for me to perform. I was ready for the Selection to be over about four hours ago. I took a deep breath. Three months would buy me freedom. I could do this. I had to.
I walked across the room deliberately, knowing who I needed to speak to. Once I found him, I leaned in and spoke in his ear.
“Come to my room. Eight o’clock sharp. Tell no one.”
CHAPTER 12
I PACED AS I WAITED for the knock to come. Kile was really the only person I could trust with this task, though I was loath to ask him. I was prepared to strike a bargain, but I wasn’t sure what I could offer him yet. I felt confident he’d have his own ideas.
The raps on the door were quiet, and I could almost hear the question in them: What am I doing here?
I pulled the door open and there, right on time, was Kile.
“Your Highness,” he said with a comical bow. “I’ve come to sweep you off your feet.”
“Hardy har. Get in here.”
Kile walked in and surveyed my shelves. “Last time I was in your room, you had a collection of wooden ponies.”
“Outgrew that.”
“But not being a bossy tyrant?”
“Nope. Just like you didn’t outgrow being an insufferable bookworm.”
“Is this how you win over all your dates?”
I smirked. “More or less. Sit down. I have a proposition for you.”
He spotted the wine I’d provided and wasted no time in pouring himself a glass. “You want some?”
I sighed. “Please. We’ll both need it.”
He paused, eyeing me before continuing. “Now I’m nervous. What do you want?”
I took my glass, trying to remember how I wanted to explain this to him. “You know me, Kile. You’ve known me my whole life.”
“True. In fact, I was thinking yesterday that I have a vague recollection of you running around in nothing but a diaper. It was a good look.”
I rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh. “Anyway. You, to some degree, understand my personality, who I am when the cameras aren’t rolling.”
He sipped, contemplating my words. “I think I understand you when they’re on as well, but please continue.”
I hadn’t thought about that, how he’d seen me go through the many phases of growing up, both on and off screen. There was a switch I had to flip when I was on display, and he knew it. “The Selection wasn’t my idea, but it’s something I need to put my best effort into. I think I am, personally. But the public expects me to be a giddy little girl next to all of you, and I don’t think I can do that. I can’t act stupid.”
“Actually—”
“Don’t!”
He smiled wickedly and took another sip of his wine.
“You’re such a pain. Why am I even bothering?”
“No, go on, you don’t want to act stupid.” He set down his glass and leaned forward.
I took a breath, hunting for the words again. “They want romance, but I’m not prepared to behave like that publicly, at least not when I haven’t truly connected with someone. Still, I need to give them something.”
I ducked my head and peeked up at him from under my lashes.
“Like what exactly?”
“A kiss.”
“A kiss?”
“Just a little one. And you’re the only person I can ask, because you’d know it wasn’t real and things wouldn’t get complicated. And I’m willing to give you something in return.”
He raised his eyebrows. “What?”
I shrugged. “Whatever you want, really. Within reason. I can’t offer you a country or anything.”
“Could you talk to my mom? Help get me out of here?”
“And go where, exactly?”
“Anywhere.” He sighed desperately. “My mom . . . I don’t know what happened that made her so crazy loyal to your parents, but she’s got it in her head that this is our home forever. Do you know how much work it took for me to get out of here and take that one accelerated course?
“I want to travel, I want to build, I want to do more than read about things. Sometimes I think one more day behind these walls might kill me.”