‘Oh, it’s this Shetland Shortbread thing,’ says Suze vaguely. ‘It’s quite a big deal, and now it belongs to us …’
Hang on a minute. Rewind.
‘You own Shetland Shortbread?’ I stare at her in amazement. ‘Those red tins you can buy in Waitrose?’
‘Exactly!’ says Suze brightly. ‘It’s really scrummy. They make it on one of the farms.’
I’m flabbergasted. What else does Suze suddenly now own? Chocolate HobNobs? KitKats?
Ooh, that would be cool. I wonder how many free ones she’d get. Maybe … a box a year?
No, that’s ridiculous. It would be at least ten boxes a year, wouldn’t it?
After I’ve shown Suze all my clothes I pop downstairs and make some coffee and check the children are OK. I come back up to find Suze wandering around the cluttered room and picking over my stuff, like she always does. She looks up, holding a pile of old photos which I’ve been meaning to put in albums. ‘Bex, I can’t believe you’re moving out of here at last. It seems like you’ve been here for ever.’
‘It has been for ever. Two whole years!’
‘What did your mum and dad say?’
‘I haven’t told them yet.’ I glance at the door and lower my voice. ‘I think they’ll really miss us when we’re gone. In fact … I’m a bit worried how they’ll take it.’
The truth is, Mum and Dad have got used to having us around. Especially Minnie. Every time one of our house purchases fell through, they were secretly really glad, Mum once told me.
‘God, of course.’ Suze’s face crumples anxiously. ‘They’ll be devastated. Your poor mum will need loads of support. Maybe you can fix up some counselling!’ she adds in sudden inspiration. ‘I bet they have Empty Nest Workshops or something.’
‘I do feel guilty.’ I sigh. ‘But we can’t stay here for ever, can we? I mean, we need our own space.’
‘Of course you do,’ says Suze supportively. ‘Don’t worry, your parents will come to terms with it. So come on, show me the house! What’s it like? What does it need doing to it?’
‘Well, it doesn’t really need anything done to it,’ I confess as I hand her the details. ‘It’s been decorated by a developer.’
‘Eight bedrooms!’ Suze raises her eyebrows. ‘Wow!’
‘I know. It’s amazing! It’s so much bigger inside than it looks. And it’s all been freshly painted and everything. But still, we should put our stamp on it, shouldn’t we?’
‘Oh definitely.’ Suze nods wisely.
Suze is so much more with it than Luke, who, by the way, hasn’t even been inside the place. I told him we needed to put our stamp on it and he said, ‘Why can’t we be happy with someone else’s stamp?’
‘I’ve already made loads of plans,’ I tell her enthusiastically. ‘Like, in the hall I thought we could have a really cool hat stand with a single studded Alexander Wang bag hanging from it. It would make such a statement.’ I scrabble under the bed for the sketch I’ve done and show it to her.
‘Wow,’ breathes Suze. ‘That looks amazing. Have you got an Alexander Wang bag?’
‘I’d have to buy one,’ I explain. ‘And next to it, maybe a console table accessorized with some Lara Bohinc jewellery?’
‘I love Lara Bohinc!’ says Suze enthusiastically. ‘Have you got some of her stuff? You never showed me!’
‘No, well, I’d have to buy some of that too. But I mean, it wouldn’t be for me, would it?’ I add hurriedly at her expression. ‘It would be for the house.’
For a moment Suze just looks at me. It’s the same look she gave me when I wanted us to set ourselves up as telephone fortune-tellers. (Which I still think was a good idea.)
‘You want to buy a bag and jewellery for your house?’ she says at last.
‘Yes! Why not?’
‘Bex, no one buys a bag and jewellery for their house.’
‘Well, maybe they should! Maybe their houses would look better if they did! And anyway, don’t worry, I’m going to buy a sofa too.’ I chuck a load of interiors magazines at her. ‘Go on, find me a nice one.’
Half an hour later the bed is littered with interiors magazines and we’re both lying in silence, wallowing in pictures of amazing oversized orange velvet sofas and staircases with built-in lights and kitchens with polished granite mixed with reclaimed wood doors. The trouble is, I want my house to look like all of them. All at once.
‘You’ve got a massive basement!’ Suze is looking at the house details again. ‘What’s that going to be?’
‘Good question!’ I look up. ‘I think it should be a gym. But Luke wants to store his boring old wine there and do wine-tastings.’
‘Wine-tastings?’ Suze pulls a face. ‘Oh, have a gym. We could do Pilates together!’
‘Exactly! It would be so cool! But Luke’s got all this valuable old wine in storage, and he’s really excited about getting it out again.’
That’s one thing I’ll never understand about Luke. His love of zillion-pound wine, when you could buy a really nice Pinot Grigio for a tenner and spend the rest on a skirt.
‘So, there’s one bedroom for you and Luke …’ Suze is still perusing the details. ‘One for Minnie …’
‘One for clothes.’
‘One for shoes?’
‘Definitely. And one for make-up.’