"Good. I'm glad.' The thing was, Dimitri's face didn't look all that glad as he stared blankly out the window. My confusion grew. Why was he upset? His actions and words no longer seemed to match lately.
I approached him. "What's wrong?
"Nothing. I just want to make sure that you're okay. That you're happy.' He turned back to me, putting on a forced smile. He'd spoken the truth--but not the whole truth. "Things have been changing, that's all. It's making me reconsider so much. Ever since Donovan ... and then Sonya ... it's strange. I thought it all changed the night Lissa saved me. But it didn't. There's been so much more, more to the healing than I realized.' He started to slip into pensive mode but caught himself. "Every day I figure out something new. Some new emotion I'd forgotten to feel. Some revelation I totally missed. Some beauty I didn't see.'
"Hey, my hair in the alley does not go on that list, okay?' I teased. "You were in shock.'
The forced smile grew natural. "No, Roza. It was beautiful. It's beautiful now.'
"The dress is just throwing you off,' I said, attempting a joke. In reality, I felt dizzy under his gaze.
Those dark, dark eyes looked at me--really looked at me, I think, for the first time since he'd entered the room. A mixed expression came over him that made no sense to me. I could pick out the emotions it contained but not what caused them. Awe. Wonder. Sadness. Regret.
"What?' I asked uneasily. "Why are you looking at me like that?'
He shook his head, the smile rueful now. "Because sometimes, a person can get so caught up in the details that they miss the whole. It's not just the dress or the hair. It's you. You're beautiful. So beautiful, it hurts me.'
I felt a strange fluttering sensation in my chest. Butterflies, cardiac arrest ... it was hard to say what exactly. Yet, in that moment, I was no longer standing in the Mastrano guestroom. He'd said those words before, or something very close. So beautiful, it hurts me. It was back in the cabin at St. Vladimir's, the one and only time we'd had sex. He'd looked at me in a very similar way, too, only there'd been less sadness. Nonetheless, as I heard those words again, a door I'd kept locked in my heart suddenly burst open, and with it came all the feelings and experiences and sense of oneness we'd always shared. Looking at him, just for the space of a heartbeat, I had a surreal sensation wash over me, liked I'd known him forever. Like we were bound ... but not in the way Lissa and I were, by a bond forced on us.
"Hey, guys, have you--oh.' Sydney came to a halt in the half-open doorway and promptly took two steps back. "Sorry. I--that is--'
Dimitri and I immediately pulled back from each other. I felt warm and shaky and only then noticed how close we had been. I didn't even remember moving, but only a breath had separated us. What had happened? It was like a trance. A dream.
I swallowed and tried to slow my pulse. "No problem. What's going on?'
Sydney glanced between us, still looking uncomfortable. Her dating life might be non- existent, but even she knew what she'd walked in on. I was glad one of us did. "I ... that is ... I just wanted to come hang out. I can't handle that going on downstairs.' I attempted a smile, still utterly confused by my feelings. Why did Dimitri look at me like that? Why did he say that? He can't still want me. He said he didn't. He told me to leave him alone.
"Sure. We were just ... talking,' I said. She obviously didn't believe me. I tried harder to convince her ... and myself. "We were talking about Jill. Do you have any ideas on how to get her to Court--seeing as we're all outlaws?'
Sydney might not be an expert in personal relationships, but puzzles were familiar territory. She relaxed, her attention focusing inward as she tried to figure our problem out.
"Well, you could always have her mother--'
A loud crashing from downstairs abruptly cut her off. As one, Dimitri and I sprang for the door, ready to combat whatever mess Victor and Robert had caused. We both came screeching to a halt at the top of the stairs when we heard lots of shouts for everyone to get down.
"Guardians,' Dimitri said. "There are guardians raiding the house.'
Chapter Twenty-five
WE COULD ALREADY HEAR footsteps thundering through the house and knew we were seconds from the army downstairs heading up to the second floor. The three of us backed away, and to my surprise, it was Sydney who reacted first.
"Get out. I'll distract them.'
Her distracting them would probably just mean momentarily blocking their way until they pushed her aside, but those extra seconds could make a huge difference. Still, I couldn't stand the thought of abandoning her. Dimitri had no such reservations, particularly when we heard feet on the stairs.
"Come on!' he shouted, grabbing hold of my arm.
We raced down the hall to the farthest bedroom, Victor and Robert's. Just before we entered, I yelled back to Sydney, "Get Jill to Court!' I don't know if she heard because by the sounds of it, the guardians had reached her. Dimitri immediately opened the room's one large window and looked at me knowingly. As always, we needed no vocal communication.
He jumped out first, no doubt wanting to take the full brunt of whatever danger waited below. I immediately followed. I dropped onto the first floor's roof, slid down it, and then made the longer drop to the ground. Dimitri caught my arm, steadying my landing--but not before one of my ankles twisted slightly in on itself. It was the same one that had taken the brunt of the fall outside Donovan's, and I winced as pain shot through me, pain I then promptly ignored.
Dark figures moved toward us, emerging from evening shadows and hidden spots around the backyard. Of course. Guardians wouldn't just come busting down a door. They'd also have the place staked out. With our natural rhythm, Dimitri and I fought back-to-back against our attackers. Like usual, it was hard to incapacitate our foes without killing them. Hard, but necessary if we could manage it. I didn't want to kill my own people, people who were just doing their job to apprehend fugitives. The long dress didn't do me any favors either. My legs kept getting caught in the fabric.