"Some have thought so over the years." He tried to make it a joke, but his eyes gave him away.
"That's why I need to see what I'm getting myself into."
"Do I raise the question of love, or is that too naive for a king and a princess?" he asked.
I smiled, but this time it was sad. "I tried love once; it betrayed me."
"Griffin is a worthless thing, Meredith, unworthy of such depth of emotion, and certainly incapable of returning it."
"I found that out, eventually," I said. "Love is grand while it lasts, Sholto, but it doesn't last."
We looked at each other. I wondered if my eyes were as tired and full of regret as his.
"Am I supposed to argue with you, and tell you some love does last?" Sholto asked.
"Are you going to?"
He smiled, and shook his head. "No."
I held my hand out to him. "No lies, Sholto, not even the pretty ones." His hand was very warm wrapped around mine. "Let me take you to bed, and see what I'm bargaining for."
He let me lead him toward the bed. "Do I get to see what I'm bargaining for?"
I pulled him backward toward the bed so I could watch his face. "If you like."
A look passed through his eyes that was neither sidhe, nor human, nor sluagh, but simply male. "I like," he said.
Chapter 12
I LET GO OF HIS HAND SO I COULD CRAWL ONTO THE BED, STILL WORKING backward so I could watch him. I took the gun out of my waistband and slid it under one of the pillows, then lay back in the middle of the bed, propping myself up on my elbows. Sholto stood beside the bed looking at me. He had a strange half-smile on his face. His eyes looked uncertain, not unhappy, just uncertain.
"You look terribly pleased with yourself," he said.
"It's never a bad thing to see a handsome man na**d for the first time."
His smile vanished. "Handsome? I've never had anyone who knew what lay under the shirt call me that before."
I let my gaze speak for me. I lingered over his face, the eyes, the strong, nearly perfect nose, the thin wide mouth. The rest of the body looked wonderful, but I knew at least part of what I was looking at was magically enhanced. I just didn't know how much. But I kept my gaze on the parts that I was pretty sure were real, like the slender width of his hips, the strong length of legs. Until I saw him without the pants I wasn't sure what the bulge in the pants was, so I passed that by in mind as well as by eye. The queen was right, it was a shame; he truly was magnificent.
"I've fantasized about a sidhe woman looking at me like that." He still looked too solemn.
"Like what?" I asked. I made the question low, sexual, teasing.
That made him smile. "Like I'm something to eat."
I smiled, and made it everything he wanted it to be, everything he needed it to be. "Eat, eh. Lose the coat, and the shirt, and maybe we'll get to that."
"No sex tonight remember," he said.
"How about just no orgasm?"
He threw back his head and laughed, a loud, joyous sound. He looked at me with shining eyes, and it wasn't magic that made them glitter, just laughter. He looked younger, more relaxed. I realized that with his white hair and skin, those gold eyes, that he'd be welcomed at the Seelie Court. If he could keep his shirt on they'd never suspect.
The laughter faded round the edges. "Now you look solemn," he said.
"I was just thinking that you look more Seelie Court than I do."
He frowned. "You mean the blood auburn hair?"
"And my lack of height, and the br**sts are a little too plentiful for sidhe style."
He grinned then, wide and sudden. "It has to be the women who are complaining about the br**sts. No man would dream of it."
That made me smile. "You're right. My mother, my aunt, my cousins."
"They're just jealous," he said.
"Pretty to think so," I said.
He let the grey overcoat fall to the floor, then undid a button of his cuff. He watched my face while he did it. He undid the other sleeve, and moved to the first shirt button, the second, fanning the cloth to expose a triangle of white, gleaming skin. A third button, and the first swell of chest muscle came into view. His fingers went to the fourth button, but he didn't undo it. "I would ask for a kiss now, before you see."
I would have asked why, but I thought I knew. He was afraid that once I saw all of him, he wouldn't get his kiss.
I crawled across the bed toward him. Sholto put his hands on the bed and lowered himself to his knees. He moved down until his chin was nearly touching the bed, his hands flat on the bedspread.
I stayed on all fours above him. He gazed up at me, and I lowered my face toward his in a sort of push-up position. I gave him his kiss. A soft brush of lips and Sholto started to pull away. I touched his face gently. "Not yet," I said.
Sholto was right, once I saw all his "extras" he might not get another kiss. If it was the only touch of sidhe hands that he would ever know, I wanted it to be memorable. A kiss couldn't make up for not having ever felt the touch of sidhe flesh, but it was all I could offer. In his own way he was as alone as Uther.
Sholto laid his chin back on the bed, rolling his eyes up at me. He waited for me patiently, totally passive, waiting for me to do whatever I was going to do. In that instant I had another question answered. If I was going to tie myself to any one person for a lifetime, we'd have to have more in common than just sidhe blood. He'd have to share my love of pain.
I lay flat on the bed so that our faces were even. "Open your mouth, just a little," I said.