"I don't think Kitto's comfortable with you being here, Rhys," I said. I stroked Kitto's back under the covers. He snuggled harder against me as if afraid of what I would ask him. I didn't understand why "servicing" Holly and Ash didn't bother him, but Rhys did. Maybe it was a cultural thing that I didn't understand because I wasn't goblin enough. I would be their high queen, but I would never truly be goblin. They were our foot soldiers, our strong arm, and most likely to be cannon fodder. The Red Caps were our shock troops. But I was missing something, right this minute, about the goblin in my bed. He was truly sidhe by birth of his magic, but in his heart he was, and always would be, goblin, just as there was more human to me because I'd gone to human schools and had human friends. That more than genetics made me more human than I would have been, more American than I would have been in the way I thought. Sometimes I wondered if my father would have found another excuse to raise me outside of faerie if Andais hadn't tried to kill me. Father had felt that it was very important that I understand our new country.
"Kitto," Rhys said. "I know I was awful to you once, but I've tried to make up for it."
Kitto's voice came out muffled. "Did you do all of it just to make up?"
Rhys seemed to think about it. "At the beginning, but you're the only one who will watch more than two gangster movies in a row with me and actually enjoy them. The others tolerate it. Or were you just being polite?"
Kitto spoke, still under the covers. "I like James Cagney. He's short."
"Yeah, I like that about him, too," Rhys said.
"You are not small," Kitto said.
"For a sidhe I am."
Kitto pulled an edge of cover down so he could see the other man. I lay there unneeded. This was a guy moment that had strangely turned into a girl moment. I'd noticed with Kitto that the guy silence didn't quite work. He had an almost feminine need to talk, to express his thoughts and feelings, or they weren't real to him.
"Edward G. Robinson is short, too," Kitto said softly.
Rhys smiled. "Bogart wasn't all that tall either."
"Really? They make him look tall."
"Apple crates and camera angles," Rhys said.
Kitto didn't ask what he meant by apple crates, which meant that they'd already had a talk about shorter actors standing on things to look taller for the camera. It was also a cheap way to make your villain or hero look like he was strong enough to lift someone one-handed. Ah, B-movie magic.
Kitto came a little farther out of the covers. "What do you want, Rhys?"
"I want to apologize that I ever thought you were like Holly and Ash and the rest."
"I am not strong like they are," Kitto said.
Rhys shook his head. "You are kind and you crave kindness. That isn't a sin."
"You have explained this concept of sin, and if I understand it, then yes, Rhys, it is a sin to be weak among the goblins. A sin that most often ends in death."
Rhys sat on the corner of the bed. Kitto didn't flinch, which was a big improvement. "I heard that you're going to help Merry with the goblins tonight," said Rhys.
"Yes," Kitto said.
"We took another call from the goblins since Merry came in here."
Ah, here it comes, I thought.
Kitto sat up, drawing his knees tight in a hug, sliding the covers around him and a little off of me. "What has happened?"
"Kurag, Goblin King, was surprised that you would be willing to help with the brothers tonight. He said that Holly used you as a trollop when he couldn't find a female he liked."
"A lot of them used me when I was between masters." Kitto said it as if it were just ordinary.
"He said one of your masters was a favorite of the brothers, and that you helped with that, too." I knew Kurag hadn't used the word "helped." Goblins were blunt about sex, except for ones like Kitto, who had spent their lives having to be servile. Strangely, the weaker goblins were the ones who were best at diplomacy among their kind. When a mispoken word can get you killed or maimed, I guess you learn to mind your tongue. I know it had helped make me cautious.
"My last master enjoyed their company."
"What happened to your last master?" Rhys asked.
"She grew tired of me and set me free to find a new master." He touched my arm.
"You see Merry as your new master," Rhys said.
"Yes."
That was news to me. "Kitto," I said, and he looked at me. "Do you feel you have no choice when I ask you to do something?"
"What you ask of me is pleasant. You are the best master I have ever had."
It wasn't quite the answer I'd wanted. I looked at Rhys, trying to convey with my eyes "help me figure out how to ask this question."
Rhys answered it himself. "You aren't going to break a lifetime of habit with a few months of safety, Merry."
He was right, but I didn't like the fact that Kitto felt that he had little choice in his new life. "You are sidhe, Kitto," I said.
"But I am also goblin," he said, as if that settled it. Maybe it did.
"Why would you volunteer to be with Merry tonight with Ash and Holly?" Rhys asked.
"No one else here truly understands what they are capable of. I must be there to see that if harm happens it is not Merry that it happens to."
"You mean you'll take the abuse so she doesn't have to," Rhys said.
Kitto nodded.
I sat up and hugged him. "I don't want you to be hurt either."
He leaned into the hug. "And that is why I would take the hurt willingly. Besides, I am harder to hurt than you are."