He led me to the chair and it took everything not to pull him down with me. Then he let go of my hand, but he stayed peering over me while I silently wished for him to lower himself on top of me.
Finally he asked, “Would you like anything? Coffee? Water? Mimosa?”
“Would it be brought out by one of your henchmen?” I knew the answer from his grin. “I’m good. Thank you.”
“You’re not interested in company?” His tone said it wasn’t a question about whether or not I cared about being seen naked – we’d already been over that. He was confirming whether or not I wanted the sexual activity to be between me and him and no one else.
I should have told him it was up to him. I should have been willing to do whatever he preferred. That was how to snag a lover. I knew the drill.
But the reason I couldn’t say it was the one I’d discovered in the pool – I wanted Reeve to myself. I wanted to only be Reeve’s.
Could he guess that as well as he guessed everything else about me? The idea made me cringe, made me have to look away, but I simply couldn’t force myself to change my answer. Instead, I lifted my shoulder into a half-shrug, hoping I appeared nonchalant about it. “I’m more interested in the company I already have.”
He chuckled and I feared I’d answered wrong, especially when he returned to his own deck chair. I bit back a disappointed sigh and clenched my thighs together hoping for some relief.
Reeve scratched at his chest and stared into the distance. “You’re stunning, Emily. I know you know that. Incredibly gorgeous.” The admiration felt calloused and cold, delivered like statistical data. “But beautiful is a dime a dozen, especially around here. It doesn’t make you special.”
“Then I’ve failed my audition?” The bulge in his shorts kept me from worrying too much.
He twisted toward me. “Au contraire. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t beautiful. That was the first round. You made it to callbacks.” His hand swept down to his lower abs and stopped just above the band of his trunks. “I’m very attracted to you.”
I ticked my head toward his erection. “I see that.”
“I didn’t try to hide it. In fact, that’s how you pass round two.”
“I passed that a while ago then.”
“Yes. You did.” He placed his palm over his cock and my insides turned to molten lava. I wished it were my palm on him. He only had to say the word, and I’d take him in my mouth.
But Reeve was a master of patience. A master of willpower.
He dropped his hand to his side. “God, I can’t stop looking at you. You’re perfect. Your breasts are fantastic. Real, aren’t they?”
They felt heavier under his stare. “Yes. You can touch them, you know.” It was desperate and pathetic. Only a step away from begging.
“Yes, I know.” But he didn’t move. “And the rest of your body… your long legs, your tight ass. Your pretty pussy.” He sighed with an mmm that made my thighs quiver. “I’m really quite happy looking at you.”
He listed my attributes like someone trying to decide whether or not to buy a show pet. It was blatant objectification and should have disgusted me, should have turned my stomach.
It did just the opposite. I felt hot, every nerve in my body awake and wanting. So why the hell were we still sitting apart?
I curled on my side to face him better. “I like hearing that. Thank you. Should I tell you that I’m happy looking at you as well?”
“It doesn’t matter. But out of curiosity, are you?”
Most men expected to hear it, even when they knew it was a lie. I was particularly good at making them believe it. But it was with complete sincerity that I answered this time. “Yes.”
Reeve considered. “Huh. Maybe it matters after all.”
We were flirting. After everything we’d danced around. I was naked and he was hard and instead of touching, instead of kissing, instead of sating ourselves in each other, we were flirting.
I sat up and turned, placing my feet on the tiled ground. “Is that the purpose of today? Just looking? Or do you have further intentions for me?”
Reeve rubbed his hands together. “So many questions. So eager.” He dropped his hands to his lap and tilted his head toward me. “Honestly, I haven’t decided yet.”
“Any other man would have cast me by now. Can you tell me what else you need to decide? I’m dying here.” I rubbed my thighs together to accentuate my statement but also in an attempt to soothe the ache that had taken residence between them.
Reeve sat forward and pierced me with a look that made me still. “You want to know what I need, Emily? I need you to acknowledge that you know who the director is.”
I didn’t even blink. “You. Of course. What else?”
He shook his head. “We’re not done with that one. It’s the sticking point right now. You say I’m the director, but we both know that you fight that. You like to direct as well.”
I opened my mouth to protest but stopped myself. Why wouldn’t he see it that way? It was what I’d shown him all along – I’d pushed and bullied and tried to do things my way because it was the only way I thought I could get close to him. How ironic that it wasn’t at all what I wanted? That what he really wanted from me in return was exactly what I wanted to give? Something I hadn’t let myself give to anyone in a long time.
I wrapped my arms around myself and studied my pedicure. “No,” I said finally. Honestly. “That’s not true. I’ve just had my trust betrayed in the past and now it’s harder to give up the control.” My voice was thick and on the verge of cracking, yet the next words came without force. “And maybe it’s not fair to ask you to be patient with me, but I promise I can be worth it. Because I want to be directed.” I lifted my eyes to his. “I want to be directed by you.”