You, uh, you he began in a gruff voice, could have taken the race. Although he looked away when admitting that, she simply nodded.
Your ship was unstoppable. He looked down at her now. And you and the Irisher worked her like clay in your hands. It should have been you and your crew feted in Sydney today.
We can never know that for sure, she assured him, but she had a good idea he was right.
I never realized how hard this must be for you.
She wanted to deny it, but he said, If it helps at all, I want you to know that I care about you. So much that the win feels hollow. He opened his mouth to say more, but fell silent and walked on.
When they entered his cabin, he strode over to her and wrapped her in his arms, pressing his hand to the back of her head, keeping her next to his heart. She couldnt stop herself from clasping him back.
He whispered into her hair, Im sorry.
She cried against his chest, her tears wetting his shirt and her little hitching noises against his chest embarrassing her, until he made a vow to her with such intensity she believed it.
No one will ever hurt you again.
Chapter 22
Derek concluded that they couldnt continue the indefinite nature of their relationship. He needed to cement something between them, and broached the subject one night while they lay in bed relaxed and sated together.
I want you, he began confidently, to be my mistress. She started to speak, but he held up his hand. Before you answer, let me tell you how Id plan to
No. She extricated herself from his cumbersome limbs and jumped up to get dressed. Derek watched her in grim silence as she pulled on her last boot and briskly brushed her hands. I dont believe I want to be your mistress, Captain.
He didnt know if he was more infuriated at her refusal or her flippant tone. She treated it as though hed made an immature, half-cocked suggestion, when in fact hed thought about little else since hed realized she had nothing to do with the poisoning.
Hed never known a woman who made him so angry he wanted to put his fist through a wall! He didnt bother to hide his annoyance. Of course not, you would want morea title, perhaps? Ill warn you, if you angle for a marriage proposal, youre wasting your time. I wont give you more than an offer of carte blanche.
Whoa, my lord, she said, dripping contempt on his title. I dont want moreI want less. I have no desire to make any commitment to you whatsoever!
He stared at her with thinly veiled surprisedamn it, she meant that. Her heated refusal of any tie that might bind her to him rattled him to the core.
From what I understand about upper-class men and their mistresses, in compensation for intimacy, a man keeps his mistress in a house he provides and gives her jewels and silks. She stood looking down at him, her eyes sparking. Well, am I close?
He agreed, impatient to hear what she would say next. One could never be sure with Nicole.
Why on earth would I want to be kept in a house on land, stuck in the same place day after day for your convenience, all for some jewelry and finery Id never wear?
Hed only offered what had always worked in the past. Women liked to have things bought for them, to be cosseted. Hed had no reason to doubt that every female wanted fine thingsexpensive thingsnot only for her enjoyment but also for security.
Did Nicole even realize how abject her life would be once they returned to England? In light of all thats happened in the last few months, who do you think will take care of you if I dont? Even if your fathers been released, youll have to get back to England to find him. How will you manage that? He jumped out of bed and yanked on his clothes, his own temper threatening to boil over. Your ship is on the bottom of the South Atlantic, and I stranded your crew at the Cape. You dont have a guinea to your name.
Her face took on a scornful, even haughty look. I have means to survive. Im not brought so low that I have tooh, how did you put it that night in London?bag an earl, either by marriage or by becoming your mistress, she snapped. When you leave me here in Sydney, Ill be just fine.
During the hours that she wouldnt talk to him, he eventually cooled and considered their relationship more objectively. His desire to find some means to bind her to him hadnt dimmed, but he wouldnt force the issue. For the next several days, Derek said nothing about the future.
Really, what right did he have to offer her a future with him when his own life was so miserably set?
At first uneasily, then wholeheartedly, they forgot about the argument. To make up for it, Derek escorted her to downtown Sydneys upscale district. He could watch her excited, radiant face for hours. She had no reason to affect a bored, world-weary mien like the women hed been around for most of his life. He might have expected it, since shed seen and experienced more of the world than the women, and many men, of his acquaintance. But she delighted in every little detail around her.
After an hour of casual strolling, they passed a jewelry store, and something in the window stopped him. Pulling her to join him at the thick glass, he saw a pair of sapphire pendant eardrops with a matching necklace showcased in the elegant display. What caught his attention was the depth of their dark color.
Wasnt the dark color indicative of the stones rarity? More than that, they matched the color of Nicoles eyes.
What do you think of the sapphires?
Theyre very beautiful, she said, only half-looking at them, her attention focused on a peddler in the street. She tilted her head, wondering what he was selling.
To reclaim her wandering attention, he pressed a kiss in her hair. Would you like
Oh, Derek, she interrupted, placing her hand on his arm, look over there. That mans selling strawberries . Do you know how long its been since I had some?
He had only a second to note the name of the shop before she dragged him away.
So that he could spoil her with strawberries instead.
When Derek awoke just before dawn, Nicole was cuddled in his arms breathing softly. As usual, the merest touch of her skin against his set him off like a randy boy. But he needed her for more than just the release. True, his body craved hers, but he wanted that closeness that came afterward, when she let down her guard.
Though she slept, he slipped his hand down to stroke her, readying her, reveling in her quick response. She awoke with a quick inhalation of breath when he entered her, then sighed in pleasure as he pushed himself in, loving her.
He thought about their morning the rest of the day while he inspected offers for him to transport goods. He caught himself whistling as he signed the numerous contracts securing the flood of business the win had brought.